How best to ruin Mass Effect 3

[airrazor7]

write only five hours of content and have the game end with shepard destroying all the reapers and saving the universe with the press of single shiny red button which is found in the Illusive Man's office after you learn that the Illusive Man is really a humanoid geth puppet under the control of GLaDOS who had control of the reapers all along.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

Making them think it's a long game and having Shepard die early. And making a DLC that takes place in hell with subtle God of War references.

 

[Ren3004]

Have a "More shooter" and a "More RPG" option at the beginning. The "More shooter" version starts with an 8 hour cutscene and there are literally hundreds of skills and stats that interact with each other unpredictably and the best skills are impossible to get due to there not being enough XP in the game. The "More RPG" version is Shepard hiding behind a chest-high wall, shooting similar baddies for the length of the game. The last, indistinguishable enemy is the final boss.

Also, you can't change the option later.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

* No matter what you do Shepard always gets the negative outcome and the whole galaxy always gets fucked up by the reapers
* Any attempt at all to romance a character sets you back in your relationship with them and decreases their odds of surviving
* first time you boot it up the game asks you who your favorite character is...whatever character you pick dies in the opening cutscene everytime without exception

 

[violent_quiche]

As mentioned previously: "it was all a dream..."
Make the Reapers vulnerable to water
Your only love interest is your hand and it will be voiced by Gilbert Gottfried

 

[KalosCast]

Have the same story writers as ME2.

 

[Saargston]

Have a huge plot twist where you learn that Shepard is a human reaper.

 

[DazBurger]

Id...
- make Mordin Solus and a Volus the only available romance options.
- make Garrus become angry with you for some reason...
- forget to include Tali... Whos Tali? I don't know any Tali...
- make Quarians look EXACTLY like Draenei from warcraft!


Also... The game would have 76% more resource-farming than the first game, and would not be optional.

Also... Fewer resources on each planet, as I would try to recreate the whole god damn galaxy, planet by planet.
... Did I also mention the game would come out on 58 disks? Blue Ray that is...

 

[Gunner 51]

Step 1: Every thirty seconds Shepard instantly dies for no reason.
Step 2: Watch gamers raaaaaaage!
Step 3: Laugh heartily. (Peeing one's pants is optional.)

 

[Quazimofo]

write only five hours of content and have the game end with shepard destroying all the reapers and saving the universe with the press of single shiny red button which is found in the Illusive Man's office after you learn that the Illusive Man is really a humanoid geth puppet under the control of GLaDOS who had control of the reapers all along.

how is that ruining it? that sounds GREAT!

 

[SpaceCop]

Galaxy-spanning trips with the Normandy are now done in real time.

 

[i7omahawki]

First off, everything is upside down for no stated reason. On top of this, the dialogue options are spelt backwards, and will occassionally randomise your response anyway, including options where Shephard screams swear words at his team for a 30 minute, unskippable cut-scene, after which he has a fight controlled through an endless and cheap QTE, if you lose you have to play it all again.

Oh, and during the 30 hour main questline (most of which is spent in elevators) Shephard has a random chance of a) swapping gender, b) having his head slowly swell until it fills the entire screen for the rest of the game, or c) dies with no option to restart and an hour long funeral parade involving a character eerily similar to jar jar binks delivering the eulogy.

Oh, oh, and there should be a macguffin, a tiny object found at the very start of the game (like valve's gnome) which is critical to the plot, but this is kept secret until the very end of the game. Oh and it has Capcom's new save system, meaning no restarts ever.

 

[Ian Caronia]

My ideas:
-Tali is genetically male with gender dysphoria and is living a lie with the female suit and fake female voice. This is revealed and he becomes Shepard's same sex romance option.
-The Reapers true motivations are benevolent and they want to transport humans to a land of eternal pleasure or something like that.

Part of me got so angry I fell into a convulsion at the Tali bit.
No. Just...just no.

My ideas:
-The Reapers' grand goal is either A) Never explained, B) Ripped off [likely from Revelation Space], or C) nonexistent since the Reapers were just a bunch of hyper intelligent carry-overs from another ancient race that liked to fuck with organics after they were "abandoned" by their creators...who never abandoned them, they just died off eventually.
- The Reapers act like Daleks
- The Reapers act like Cybermen/Borg
- There turns out to be a Queen that is behind it all who is part organic
- Any mention of Time Travel
- Any mentioned of actual gods having made the Reapers or something. And that's why all organics worship different things, because the Reapers help create life based on what they know and they were originally made to serve the gods thus the code of servitude is in everything they helped spawn, which is why people can go so far as to worship other people. Then there's a message about love and some other stuff that doesn't fit the tone of the story and it ends on:
1. Shepard giving a last long winded speech before dying
2. a crap load of Deus Ex Machina being thrown around to get to the end, with nothing being explained at all, and people saying "It was never about the mystery or the plot, but about the personal connections!"
3. As Reapers are coming from one end, Husk coming from another, and some other force about to attack the Normady all at once, it cuts to black
4. Tali is actually a human being and Shepard's genetic daughter, and the Reapers fooled Shepard with hypnotizm to fall in love and have sex with her as payback for some rumors he spread when he was young and going to the same school the Reapers' and their sister sister, who they were in an incestuous relationship with, went to. He cuts off his tongue and they commit suicide making everything fucking anticlimactic, frustrating, and somewhat pointless.
5. Tali and/or Garrus rubbing their (fully clothed) asses into the screen during the credits since they are arguably the most popular characters of the series and they make dat cha-ching
6. Everyone has big tits. Even Thane. And Mordin. Miranda's are made twice as large since the devs seem to want to lick the actress they got to play her despite the alien characters being the sellers of the game. Also: Every man is packing a loaded magnum (if you know what I mean) to compensate for the added boobage.

So long as Bioware doesn't do any of that, I'm good.

 

[vectorspyke]

The entire Normandy crew gets killed during the opening cut scene and You are forced switch between play as Councelor Udina arguing with The Council where all your dialouge options are renegade and a Turian C-sec officer having to file reports in the form of the "Match the bits of text" mini-game in the second game.

 

[Bebus]

-The Reapers true motivations are benevolent and they want to transport humans to a land of eternal pleasure or something like that.

I am of the opinion that this won't actually be far off the mark. Some of the phrases Harbinger used:

"Prepare these humans for ascension"

"We are your salvation and your destruction"

Make it sound like the Reapers believe they are doing humans a favour.

My Theory? The Reaper's creators used AI machines far more powerful than any since then. There was some imminent disaster, and the machines were given one task: make us live forever. So they harvested their species and turned them into huge flying organic/synthetic hybrid machines who, every 50,000 years, return to the Citadel and decide if any new races are worthy of ascension. Those who are, they harvest and those who are not, they destroy. Hell, the 'imminent disaster' I mentioned could be coming around again! /theory

How to ruin it? Make the final epic battle an RTS. Make Shepard die again without him seeming to bat an eyelid when revived. Any planet scanning. Using the Mako rather than the Hammerhead.

So many potential ways to ruin the game... don't let us down Bioware!

 

[IBlackKiteI]

Haha seriously. BSN is a scary place, man. [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/bioware-social-forums.php]

Oh man, I've never been on the Bioware forums much and now I have an even greater reason not to.

That was actually quite terrifying to read. I am honestly not joking.

 

[Arafiro]

Garrus being killed

What would even be the point of saving the universe without Garrus?

 

[imnot]

You put the disk in your console.

Spoiler

Oh and all the characters are voiced by microsoft sam.
And the only Dialouge option is 'Rick roll'
Unskippable.

 

[Canid117]

Anders shows up and starts hitting on you. I think that would piss a couple of people off in a hilarious way.

 

[imnot]

Also, Tali is really Jar jar Binks, and so is every other character.

Wearing latex masks or we just didn't notice the last 2 games