How do i get friends?

[le picklez]

Find the nicest, quietist person in your class and force yourself upon them.

What if he is the nicest quietest person

Wait for someone unpleasent to force themselves on him

Pahaha xP

 

[Freeze_L]

Join a club, or if you are really desperate join a sports team. find pepole who enjoy what you enjoy, but try talking to pepole who you have nothing in common with to, talk to that guy who sits next to you in half your classes maybe you will hit it off. Join a study group.

 

[Underground Man]

Get a cat. Or dog, I guess.

Unconditional love with no strings attached. And best of all, no backtalk. What more could you possibly ask for? They don't even get mad if you forget their birthday.

 

[Nostalgia]

Walk around like you're saddled on a horse with your hand on your crotch. Women will be dazzled by your charm and men will dwarf in the presence your manliness.

 

[Squilookle]

Im not trying to depress other people, im just keeping to myself until i muster up enough courage do be fucking denied again. All people in high schools are fucking twats and i hope they get what is fucking coming to them.

Well there's your problem right there- you're assuming you will fail before you try, and they'll detect your defeatism and probably want to distance themselves from you, fulfilling what you already suspected.

Also you're assuming everyone's a "fucking twat" and that you "hope they get what is fucking coming to them." you will never get friends with that attitude unless you find someone with the same view, and what do you think the chances are of 2 people who think EVERYONE is a twat becoming friends?

People tend to have a knack for detecting that mindset as well, and nobody can blame them for not wanting anything to do with someone that thinks the way you do. You'd better change your attitude fast, and realise not everyone in the world is a douche, otherwise you'll never get close enough to someone to realise how nice people can really be.

 

[Sark]

Judging from your posts, it seems that you don't have an approachable personality, and you have already, here at least dismissed them all as twats. If this is your opinion of these people, why do you want them as friends?

Having a positive attitude helps quite alot, generally people with lots of friends don't have a dismissive, hate the world attitude. Try to look for the positives in everyone you meet, keep to the bright side and you will probably start being more approachable.

 

[Mordwyl]

I don't really care all that much anymore, it just happens naturally.

 

[TheDrunkNinja]

Join a club. Best thing you can do. Even better, join a club that people you have class with often are also in. When you're in said club, try to be really involved in club activities, but don't do it in a way that makes you seem like you're trying to be in control or a leader. Just sell yourself as willing and able, and people will come to respect that out of you. Friends will follow very quickly.

 

[ultrachicken]

I wish I could say I empathize, but I just started talking to people and well... I have friends

Thanks for reminding me how much of a fucking failure at life i am.

If that's how you act around other people, then no wonder they won't talk to you.
If you constantly insult yourself then nobody will want to be around you. It makes them feel awkward.

 

[Tdc2182]

Talk to people.

Nobody talks back to me.

Say something interesting

I don't know what interests them, seeing as how they won't talk to me.

I respectfully disagree with Skullkid.

Trying to strike up conversation at whatever presumable age I think you are isnt truly a smart idea. At your age, most kids have kind if settled into the mold of who they want to be their friends. Just kind of let it be for a while. Being new in your teenage years is a pretty long process.

Joining clubs and sports is a pretty good way to meet people.

 

[Aurgelmir]

I'm actually in the same situation, I know how you feel. Maybe join a club or sport? That's what I'm thinking of doing.

This sounds to me to be the best way. Atleast there people will (r are supposed to) comunicate with you

 

[luckycharms8282]

Seeing as I dont know you and cant give you advice on a deeper, more personal level. I will try to offer as simple advice as I can.

-Act relaxed, dont be too jumpy or gittery, as this may unsettle most people.
-Ask them about themselves (people generally like to talk about themselves)
-Let the conversation move naturally. Dont walk up and say, "Do you enjoy mining ore on wow?"
-Smile and add in a few laughs. Even if these smiles are forced, they will attract the other person in a positive way.

 

[AugustFall]

similar to me. Except I'm in grade 11 but was homeschooled for grade 8,9 and 10 so I have no friends at all even outside of school. I have social anxiety disorder which makes me extremely introverted so it's hard to look confident and talk to anyone. So far I've mostly just sat alone somewhere looking like a loser. I'm hoping I'll get over it someday, I can't stand being alone, I haven't had so much as one friend sense like, grade 7.

*Sob story*

I haven't really had any social anxiety until now, really. I try not to look like a loser sitting alone at lunch, but it's hard because I just look like one, even the other loner that sits at my lunch table has been talked to by one guy.

Why don't you talk to this other 'loner'?

 

[Dr. Whiggs]

Im not trying to depress other people, im just keeping to myself until i muster up enough courage do be fucking denied again. All people in high schools are fucking twats and i hope they get what is fucking coming to them.

And here I thought Dylan Klebold was dead.

Go talk to your counselor before you do something stupid.

 

[justnotcricket]

You mean you've tried talking to every single person in your school and they all just pretend like you're not there? I find that hard to believe. I can definitely believe that it's hard to just strike up conversations; that's hard for most people and why very few conversations get started on the bus or in elevators between strangers. For that to be true, it would imply a baseless vendetta against you perpetrated by an unusually cohesive and well-organised high school population. If nothing else, I see so many threads like this on the Escapist - if there are enough people making threads like this, there must be people in your high school or community who feel the same as you! I don't buy that high schools consist solely of people whose mission it is to make one individual an outcast.

Are you sure there aren't people you're overlooking? Perhaps people even you yourself consider beneath your notice? It's always worth being painfully honest with yourself and making sure you aren't just trying to appeal to a particular crowd and projecting your failure with them onto everyone else. Variety is key, as is perseverance. If a bunch of people just don't want to know, let them go, but make sure you don't discount people after one time when you said 'Hello' quite shyly and they probably didn't hear you, kept going and you felt terrible because you thought you'd just been totally cut dead by someone. Take a step back and reassess the situation.

Those on this thread who have already recommended joining or starting a club are right on the money. Find a club you're interested in and join up. You'll probably get to learn something new and you'll have instant friends by virtue of a shared interest. I'm assuming you comport yourself politely anyway.
Another option is to find an extracurricular activity - something outside school where you can join a group (like, I don't know, a swim club, or fencing, or soup kitchen whatever) and make friends there where you have a chance to start afresh. The friendships you make there will make you more confident, and make you more socially attractive to people at school. Even if you don't have anyone to hang around with at lunchtime at school, you can kick back with a book secure in the knowledge that you'll be seeing your friends when school lets out and you head over to the papier-mache club or wherever.

Another alternative, if you're feeling lonely at lunchtimes: get involved in your school. I don't know about how it works where you are, but my school was always looking for people to help out in the library, or the P.E. shed or whatever. You could always join a musical group - if you don't play an appropriate instrument, orchestras are perennially looking for percussionists, and it's a section where the instruments are provided and you can quickly pick up a new skill! Needless to say, there will be other people in these jobs/activities that you can make friends with.

Just keep trying, and don't lose heart. If you're open, polite, and pick your targets wisely, there's no reason you can't have as many friends as you want. Good luck! =)

 

[notsosavagemessiah]

Talk to people.

Nobody talks back to me.

that's why you talk to them. Either way, it may feel like school is everything now, but all this will fade away, you'll have friends and lovers all along the way. You may start out awkward, but give it time, you'll eventually grow into your own.

 

[thahat]

I am depressed. No one at my new school wants to talk to me, and nobody responds when i try to strike up a conversation. It is not like i had any friends before going to my school, but i hoped to turn over a new leaf at the beginning of high school. Since that has gone to shit, how am i going to manage making friends ever?

instead of rushing to answer something generic, let me ask you, WHO are you?( dont need names or places, but what defines YOU, what do others see, hear, smell, etc.?

 

[The Stonker]

There's really no strategy you can take, unless you're doing something really stupid. If you're just trying to be yourself, and nobody responds to that, then there's not actually much you can do. Friendship just happens, really.

Still, a good way of looking at it is this. If they don't have the time in their busy busy day (Sarcasm) to accommodate a new kid and maybe respond to a conversation, then they aren't worth being friends with. It might take a while, but if you wait, one day, maybe now, maybe later, you'll find someone you truly have a connection with.

I completely agree with you Furburt.

The thing is that I was quite afraid that I wouldn't make any friends in my school, do you want to know what I did?
I just started talking to random people that I found interesting and women that I find well sexy!
(Yes I'm a pig)
Now 90% of my friends are girls and I have about 2 guy friends in school out of 20.
And it's just all about being open and not being afraid of talking to people, p.s. don't talk to the people that obviously look like assholes.

Edit:And I got my girlfriend just by talking to her and showing that I actually care.
So yeah everything can be better, if you want it to be better.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Talk to people.

Nobody talks back to me.

I seriously doubt that every time you talk to anyone they just stare at you blankly.