How do you answer the phone?

[Shoqiyqa]

Hooray for rickrolling the telemarketers.

 

[OniSuika]

If it's a friend or family, I say "Mmmmyess?" In a really sinister voice sometimes. I don't like getting phoned by people I don't know though, so if it's an unknown number I usually just sigh exasperatyedly and say "Hello....?".

 

[AbsoluteVirtue18]

People I don't like: "What?"
Family members I don't want to piss off: "Hello?"
The rest of ya'll: "Ore wo dare da to omotte yagaruuu?!"

 

[Hollock]

if i know the person on the caller idea i will always say ahoy

 

[SsilverR]

i don't say anything ... it's usually like this

**picks up phone**

ME: .......
CALLER: ... hello??
ME: what do you want?

 

[Arkhangelsk]

"57th Signal Regiment, Charlie Troop, Wadi el-Yarwaan."
"What?"
"WADI EL YARWAAN!"

Uh... Can you explain that one to me? It sounded funny.

 

[nohorsetown]

I screen my calls (landline w/ old-timey answering machine), and mosta the time don't answer the phone. If it's someone I know, and want to talk to, I usually answer with an over-the-top, seductive "Hello..!" or "How *you* doin'?". But I hate the phone. Stop calling me!

 

[arcstone]

I put it against my ear.

(Predictable joke.)

 

[Jettling]

"Hello"
"G'day"
"Hi"
"Hel..." "Hi There!? Do you need an extra 12 windows when you stick ur arse out of a bus window?"..."ok then...no I don't and you, stupid automated system, can go kill urself"

 

[walls of cetepedes]

"Hello, this is Pizza Hut, please state your medical emergency."

 

[CiaranF95]

if its a guy i'd say "what's up,man?"

 

[Bigeyez]

I usually don't. It's known to everyone that has my number that I never pick up my phone. If I feel like talking to someone I'll call them back.

 

[Kriptonite]

Hello? Or if it's my friend Taro I just dive directly into whatever is on my mind.

 

[Dragonblade146]

"Call for Palpa Palpatine!!!"
Or
"*Makes loud noises and hold phonje away from me* Oh GOD! Hes got the phone!!!
*Make banging nises and fighting sounds dropping phone* *Pick phone back up and say in a deep calm voice* This is Providence Mental Institution. How may I help you?"

 

[Shrubery]

usually just "yellow" or "hai"
and when i'm feeling crazy " how did you know i was here ? "

 

[Thimblefoot]

I say "Joe's taxidermy, you snuff em, we stuff em."

or

"Joe's crematorium, you kill em, we grill em."

I think i just died laughing....oh my god....

 

[RobCoxxy]

"Hi, Coxxy here, how the fuck are you?"

 

[mikecoulter]

I feel boring with my simple "Hello" now.

I may start using "Ahoy" from now on...

 

[Doomdiver]

I answer the phone at work more than any other time so "Hello thanks for calling Pizza Hut Bury, Adam speaking how can I help?"

Otherwise a simple hello is fine.

 

[RicoADF]

"Joe's crematorium, you kill em, we grill em."

I've used something very similar to that one before, tho normally its "Hello" or "Familyname's residance"