How do you want HL3 to be announced?

[ToastiestZombie]

Realistically, I just want it to be announced at e3, the conference that has that in WILL be the "winner" of e3. But, I agree that they should just put it on Steam, without even a news post. Don't even put it on the frontpage of steam, just let it sit in the back along with the really old or really crap games. Then, someone finds it and buys it and BAM, there's a massive uproar of excitement and jizzing of pants.

Here's something funny I saw on /v/ the other day detailing what they think's gonna happen when HL3 is announced.

Spoiler

>Be at Nintendo's E3 conference
>Reggie is talking about how his body is ready, and announcing a wii fit sequel
>Gabe Newell runs in naked, and wrestles Reggie to the ground
>The Half Life 3 logo comes up on the screen
>Cue literal shitting of pants, turning the conference room into a shit covered diarrhoea room
>Trailer comes on, the whole audience is now shitting their pants
>Reggie gets up, and after the trailer announces the next Smash Bros.
>Even more shitting of pants
>Reggie and Gabe start to shit their pants too
>The two shit so much they use it to fly out the conference room, like they were on jetpacks
>E3 ends right there

It's 4chan...

 

[Vhite]

Time-traveler from future will bring it alongside of plans to interstellar travel and world piece machine.

By the way, didn't we piss off Valve somehow so they decided to go Bible on us and bring promised game only to future generations?

 

[teqrevisited]

An advert. One that only shows some scattered papers sitting in an open briefcase, the top sheet being a graph showing returns on different investments denoted by blue, green, black and orange lines. The green line is ended two thirds across the graph with a bold cross. The orange line will have peaked around the middle and now be plummeting. Out of shot, the G-Man: "Regrettable, but sometimes one must know when to cut one's losses."

No logos. No text of any kind afterwards explaining where it's from.

 

[RustlessPotato]

I hope they'll just go: " oh by the way, HL 3 comes out tomorrow, kthxbai ! "

 

[ramboondiea]

just to show up on steam one day, just right there on the scroll window, no fancy crap no background change no offers, just there. and then we can all watch the steam implode taking the internet with it

 

[HigherTomorrow]

They should just like

Raze the words, "Half-Life 3 is coming"

Into like a field of corn

And just hope someone comes across it on Google Maps or something

Too bad the Google Map pics are so old. I mean I dont even have teh pool in my back yard and I have had it there for a good 8 or 9 years now

What if VALVe did this years ago and it just never showed up on Google Maps! And the reason they don't talk about HL3 is because they're annoyed no one got their clue?

 

[SmilingWorlock]

It should just pop up on Steam tomorrow. No announcement, no big banner on steam, it should jsut sit there and everyone would go nuts.

Edit: I pondered so long on this answer (okaaay, i made me a sandwich) that someone beat me to it.

 

[Euhan01]

I think they should announce it on April Fools day with a trailer made up of Half Life 2 footage so nobody believe them, and actually release it then

 

[TWEWYFan]

Frankly, I don't care how they announce it just so long as it *does* get released. Still I guess if I got to choose, I'd have a sort of fake out. They'd begin by explaining how the Half Life series was over, only to have the trailer start playing behind them.

 

[Ickorus]

I still think it'd be funny if they didn't announce it and just released it one day on Steam with absolutely no fanfare then see how many minutes it takes before the entire internet is on fire over it.

 

[Sarah Kerrigan]

I can see Valve adding it into a random interview, being all like 'oh yeah, and Half Life 3 is coming guys.'

 

[Patrick Buck]

First, there'll be a rumor online about Valves' secret "Lambda office". No one really knows what goes on in there.

One day all the employees in the office mysteriously vanish. Gabe Newell offers no comment. Marc Laidlaw drops a hint that a certain "threat must be contained".

The FBI takes a look at Valves' investment records and finds evidence of extensive real-world portal testing. Gabe Newell is detained, saying only "I wanted to create the most immersive experience possible for Half Life 3".

Two days later, our new alien overlords arrive.

YEEEEEESSSSS!
THAT. I want that.

No.... Wait... I don't want that. NO.

 

[Xerosch]

I think it would be great, if Valve sneaks in a patch that slightly expands the ending of Episode 2 and hints at the series' progression. That's a nice little 'Thank you' to the loyal fanbase that still plays the games regularly. I don't think they'd need a big ad budget after that.

 

[NLS]

I would prefer it was never announced.

I would want it to be secretly released on Steam and be only accessed through some roundabout method involving references from previous games plus other valve games maybe. Then I would want everyone at Valve to continue the idea that HL3 has still not been released all the while, the chosen few who were mad enough to believe that it had been released and followed the set of clues hidden in different games have already played and beaten HL3.

Of course the assumption here is that the game will be so mindblowingly amazing it would be comparable to looking at the face of God or spreading Branston pickle onto No More Heroes.

Then after Valve has logged a certain number of people as having played and beaten HL3 I would want them to once again stop anyone from being able to access the game. This would be so that when the few people who had played it go to various Internet forums professing that they had played the game, Valve can continue to claim that the game is in fact not released since if those who gained access try to tell others how to do it, the same method would no longer work.

Eventually those who would claim that HL3 has been released are branded as mad people and the vast majority of the internet would probably forget about them. Then as Valve releases other games I want another set of hints to be tucked away just as before and have then continue this process indefinitely.

I would want all this to happen because I think it'd be pretty funny. :3

I imagine 30 years later, you see what used to be a gamer, now a scruffy hobo holding up this card-board sign shouting out "I have seen the truth, Half Life 3 was released 30 years ago, the government is trying to keep it secret from you! The Obama assassination was all just a setup to cover it!". Of course nobody even remembers what Half Life was ever after President Gaben and the Black Mesa Party took over control.

 

[Lukeje]

I would like it to be announced alongside a Linux-native Steam client...

 

[Dango]

It shouldn't be announced. It should just be released one day on Steam.

 

[A Satanic Panda]

All these people saying it will just randomly appear on steam makes me want to check the store right now. And everyday afterword.

How I want it to be announced? With Hugh Laurie in a HEV suit at E3

 

[TheRookie8]

I would like him to announce it real casually:

"We'd just like to thank all our fans for giving us the support to prosper over the years...allowing us to make great videogames...uh...cough...Half Life 3 is coming out...uh...we hope everyone is having a good time here at e3..."

If Gabe Newell even MENTIONED Half Life, I guarantee nobody in the audience would hear anything else that freaking billionaire had to say.

 

[Vivi22]

Secretly, under the radar, so nobody notices.

It would be hilarious.

I was actually thinking something along these lines. Don't announce it at all. No previews, no screenshots, no ARG's. Just release it on Steam. But release it with no logo and under a codename and with no front page promotion of it on the Steam store at all. A week after it came out let the cat out of the bag officially. It'd be interesting just to see how long the release stayed secret.

 

[Kerboom]

Not at all.

I don't want Half-Life 3. I don't want Half-Life 2: Episode 3. I don't want anything else to do with Gordon Freeman.

I wish I was joking, but nothing they can do will make me want this game. The original remains the best game, and I highly doubt they'll come even close.