How many pathetic video gamers do you know?
- Thread starter SillyBear
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Addictions are addictions, regardless of the substance. Be it Alcohol, Drugs, sex or sports (you know the kind of people I'm talking about).SillyBear said:
But stop for a moment and pull yourself out of your perspective. You keep using the world "fun" like she isn't having fun. Maybe you don't /think/ you'd have fun playing WoW all day, but stop acting like you know better. WoW is fun, that's why people play it. Just like Alcohol tastes good, Drugs make you feel good, and so on. If she's having fun perhaps she just needs some time to withdraw from society. Some time to herself to just "lose herself" in fun.
I know it sounds crazy, but with how stressful life can be sometimes people need to "reset" themselves, wash away all the painful memories and start over new. I played over 5000 hours of games over 4 years time (3.5 hours a day, every day, for 4 years) and that was just a "medium" addiction. But afterwords I am able to look back and say "I had my fun, it's time to get to work".
With that being said, it took me 4 bloody years to "reset" and the only reason I did was because of the death of my fiancee. So if you want to "help" your friend do two things. 1: Cut yourself from her life to show her that there are consequences to her actions, and 2: give her time.
Also, the fact you keep stating her online relationship isn't valid shows me that you're quite naive. While expensive, some of the best relationships I have ever had were with girls in other countries I flew over here.
I played WoW for 100 hours, and got bored. I too have Aspergers but you gotta admit my "Asperger's bretherend" that our ability to have an intense focus on something /does/ cause other areas to become lacking. Making us look strange to other people.KaosuHamoni said:
I found the cure to myself. It was called cataclysm. Although wrath was so bad I only played like 4 months of the almost 2 years it was out. I just played Catalysm one month and was enough to make me puke like my body was rejecting it all of a sudden.
Hope your friend realises how time consuming it futile it is to play WoW full time, or any other game. My life expanded so much after I got clean.
Hope your friend realises how time consuming it futile it is to play WoW full time, or any other game. My life expanded so much after I got clean.
Now thats interesting. I do feel more depressing moments since I stopped, although I dont see WoW as a viable escape for me anymore. Guess my escape now would be more real, more fleshy even, know what I mean.Imperator_DK said:
Yeah, this is exactly why I stay away from them and largely gaming online in general. I'm really easily captivated by things and all my real-world commitments fade away. I even put a ridiculous amount of hours into playing a tetris-like game on my phone that isn't even that good. I stayed away from WoW for my own safety.Vault101 said:
It's sad when this happens though, it happened to my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He'd go through periods of not seeing or speaking to anyone because he'd be playing WoW and nothing anyone said would convince him to do otherwise.
Have you sat down and told her she has a problem? Or at the least, that you, a friend, has a problem with what she has become? If not, you probably should start there.SillyBear said:
Now note, it could very well go awry and she may get very angry with you, which would also clarify that it's indeed an addiction. But it has to be done, she needs to be confronted sooner rather then later.
I'm presuming you're not her only real world friend. If I'm right, you should get some of them to join you too (closer the better) to show you care. Contact her parents (if she's not living with them) if you think they are decent enough to make a difference (It's just as likely parents have driven her to this, with high, nigh unattainable expectations or something... I know how the former feels).
It's likely she might just turn you all away and I would suggest you don't overstay your welcome, but don't get disheartened either... come back as often as you can to talk to her about it. Trying it once, then ignoring it (by fear of rejection or whatever) will only cause her more damage and make her recede even further into her fantasy.
Be blunt. Tell her that her life is now a shell of itself and that she has devoted herself to an insubstantial and meaningless faux-reality. Tell her to get her priorities straight, to get her life together. Be gentle if you can, but get the point across... she's wasting herself on nothing and leeching off of the state for the most shallow of reasons.
If you get through to her, and she agrees with you and wishes to fix her problem, unless you have a degree in psychology I think the only thing you can do now is support her while she seeks help and to get back on her feet.
Key things:
*Don't fall on her like the wrath of god, but don't coddle her either... she needs to wake up (but not be traumatised).
* Be persistent, giving up once you start will likely encourage her to give up on herself.
*This isn't a short term project... you will have to support her even if she realises she's destroying herself.
Ultimately you are making a greater commitment to her then being a simple friend. Giving up at any stage might irrevocably damage your relationship with her. Pushing too hard might break her even more. This is a delicate affair and one that should not be approached haphazardly.
Seek support from people "OUTSIDE OF THE INTERNET" for advise on how to deal with this. Be sure you are willing to make this commitment, or you may end up hurting yourself.
Lastly... games addiction isn't the true problem here. It is a symptom to something you are not aware of (evidentially). This may well open a tin of worms you really aren't expecting. Be sure you are willing to deal with what comes with this problem.
P.S if you are wondering about my experience with such things, let's just say I skirted the same problems she's having and nearly caved in on myself. Lucky for me, my parent's supported me and a close friend voiced his concerns early on. I still have issues but I'm brazing enough to discuss it now and have gotten back on track.
But your friend has met her boyfriend, and spent days with them, just not face-to-face. They have spent a great deal of time speaking to each other, which many would say is the most important part of a relationship. If they haven't actually seen pictures or video of each other, then they are missing an essential component, lust, and that takes the relationship down several pegs from a full one.SillyBear said:
Also, what does "see their vibe" mean?
EDIT: As for your friend, generally, when people become "addicted" to games, it's because they feel unsatisfied with other aspects of their lives. Work that doesn't allow for control over a project, or a visible effect of your work, or a certain amount of pride, is generally a big factor. Problems with parents, tragic events, or just general social issues also often drive people to confide in games. I suggest you try to help her figure this stuff out in a non-threatening way. Just try to get her to be a little introspective. Maybe that will help.
I have also been addicted to WoW... But in the last year I had a nice wake up call from reality, I noticed how my real life was so much more better than WoW. I found myself new friends, new hobbies everything has changed after I quited WoW... and my account was also hacked so I found no reason to even try to do nothing else than freeze my account and let be that way.
Yes, we can, however, it's not all that difficult to combat. The majority of people are shocked when I tell them that I have Asperger's, saying something along the lines of "I'd have never known..."Kenji_03 said:
Just because you have a condition, doesn't mean that you can blame your failings on it.
Most people talk to the same group of people every day. At work, you converse with your colleagues (and/or clients/customers, but I think most people who've worked in the service industry would call that a negative). When you're not working you talk with your friends.Tharwen said:
Occasionally you meet new people, but that's true in an online community as well, and it's quite possible (at least that's how it was for me) that you meet new people a lot more often online than off.
Dude that's not pathetic that's sick and disturbing, pathetic is rage quitting because you can't beat a portal puzzle, intervention that woman before she does too much damage on herself.
No, I'm one of those people who recognizes it as a condition, and pushes past the social disadvantages, so that I can benefit from the other advantages, i.e., retaining information, more, than I normally would.Kenji_03 said:
No matter what, Asperger's is a condition. But that's not to say that it's unbeatable.
I do have a friend like this.
The shame is that he is genuinely a really nice guy to be around, he's one of the kindest people I know, but he hasn't come out over the last 4 months. Every time we ask him to come out he promises he will, me and my friends smoke, but he doesn't like it, so we don't smoke on the days that we're supposed to be seeing him, and repeatedly over the last 4 months we've arranged to go out the week before the date and every time the date arrives, he simply doesn't answer his phone. But every time we all go home after running around trying to figure out how we can get hold of him, I hear the next day that he was logged in on WoW all night.
I'll never understand how a game can have so much control over your life.
The shame is that he is genuinely a really nice guy to be around, he's one of the kindest people I know, but he hasn't come out over the last 4 months. Every time we ask him to come out he promises he will, me and my friends smoke, but he doesn't like it, so we don't smoke on the days that we're supposed to be seeing him, and repeatedly over the last 4 months we've arranged to go out the week before the date and every time the date arrives, he simply doesn't answer his phone. But every time we all go home after running around trying to figure out how we can get hold of him, I hear the next day that he was logged in on WoW all night.
I'll never understand how a game can have so much control over your life.
*incoming life story*Colour-Scientist said:
I actually was that person at one point
It was at a real limbo part of my life, school was over, I was at home and the dreaded "what are you going to do" convresations were lurking around every corner
I also won free runescape membership, a game I had been on and off for a few years (as for winning, sad or no Im actually pretty proud of that)
I was at home...which was literally middle of nowhere, I didnt have anything else to do..and runescape membership was one of those things I had REALLLY wanted when I was a kid (the irony is now I can buy runescape membership cards in stores....If I wanted too)
so yeah I went RPing like crazy, and I think I may have been addicted...it was also a way to escape from my tedious situation..and the tension and guilt I had with my parents
also we were in the middle of moving house...which involved me driving 40 minutes to the old house just to get my internet fix...
anyway I surprised my parents didnt try to put their foot down..mum actually seemed ok with it, since I guess she figured i had nothing else to do at the time
overall I look back at those few months fondly..as they were awsome fun, but thats no way to live
Now that I have a good job my life is getting back on track (after getting derailed all thanks to me)