How many pathetic video gamers do you know?

[ShadowsofHope]

Video gaming does have the capacity to completely lure people in. Film, music and books don't have quite as strong of a draw. That's all I'm saying.

Film marathons, following your favorite band across countries as they tour, spending an entire day reading novels at your local bookstore...

..This statement is utterly bullshit, mate. While there is legitimate concern about her lack of employment alongside her dedication to playing WoW, playing WoW alone and truly enjoying it above wanting to do things that you want to do that she may have been interested in previously is absolutely her own decision and her own life. People change, no less. And while you seem to be a decent guy, as well as likely knowing her a little better than most of us here, I can't help but feel this thread is essentially your soapbox for a lack of control over your friend's activities that you used to have, and you are the feeling the lack of attention that presents. Of course, I may be wrong about such, but I've seen it before enough times to get the vibe.

 

[Gaiseric]

I guess it depends on what qualifies.

Neither of my brothers can enjoy a game for any length of time. My younger bro(19 btw) blames the game for when he fucks up and gets ridiculously angry to the point he screams and hits things. My older bro does(24) the same to a lesser extent, but has the added issue of picking games apart from story to graphics and destroys the experience for himself by being overly negative.

 

[Pyro Paul]

First of all: This is not an attack thread. The word pathetic is used here in its literal sense and I am not attacking video gaming or anyone here.

Recently, a friend of mine has gone from the title "gamer" to being just plain pathetic. She, like many people, has fallen into the grasp of World of Warcraft. She plays the game all day, has met a "boyfriend" on it (who doesn't even live in the same country), and constantly puts real life as a secondary to the video game.

There's an event on? She can't go, because she is doing a raid. More and more she refuses our offers to go and socialise and have fun. I recently visted her house and it was really, really sad. Nearly every anecdote she tells is WoW related, and I am starting to dislike being around her.

She has almost entirely escaped into video gaming. She doesn't need to do anything now. She doesn't need to try and find a male, because she has this "boyfriend" online. She doesn't need to find work or anything and she is on government wages.

I find myself getting angry about the whole situation. It's downright awful and she has turned from a fun, hard working person into a lazy, moody and selfish (and if I am being honest, pathetic) person.

So, I'd like to ask the question, do you guys know anyone who is like this? Are any of you yourself like this? Also, if anyone is feeling kind, any advice on what I should do here in regards to my friend? Why did this happen to her?

Sorry to bring the tone down with an unhappy thread, but I'd love to talk about it! This really is the down side to gaming and it is something we should all discuss.

Then she is not a gamer.

WoW, in the way that she plays it, is a glorified interactive social network system. Subscribers are more focused on interacting with each other rather then acctually playing the game. If you ask her what she does most of the time in WoW she'll probably tell you 'Chat with friends.' or 'hang around Orgimmar/Stormwind'.

Playing WoW that way and calling yourself a 'Gamer' is like sitting in a parked car for 5 hours and calling it a 'Road Trip'

To these 'Addiciton' over tones...

You can't get addicted to Gaming. it is kinda impossible from a psychological stand point unless if you carry some psychological disorder that makes you believe that you integrate yourself with the virtual world. (there is no direct stimuli outside of psychological interpritation of the visual display)

A Major problem with 'WoW Addiction' isn't acctually an addiction to the game, but acctually a negative psychological reinforcing factor in the idea that 'i must get my moneys worth!' which is a problem that occurs with any Interactive Subscription based Medium. This can be seen with anything that has a very limited window of operation assosiated with a price point but is often compounded when the individual 'subscribes' in that they continually pay for the service with little acctually interaction with payment on it after the fact.

If you want her to stop playing WoW the way she is playing so she can take it easy and relax... tell her to Unsubscribe then continue playing the game through Pre-paid game cards which can be purchased at any electronic department store. When an individual has to put forth physical effort in order to continue their involvement in the medium they enjoy they feel less bound to it and can finally relax.

 

[funguy2121]

First of all: This is not an attack thread. The word pathetic is used here in its literal sense and I am not attacking video gaming or anyone here.

Recently, a friend of mine has gone from the title "gamer" to being just plain pathetic. She, like many people, has fallen into the grasp of World of Warcraft. She plays the game all day, has met a "boyfriend" on it (who doesn't even live in the same country), and constantly puts real life as a secondary to the video game.

There's an event on? She can't go, because she is doing a raid. More and more she refuses our offers to go and socialise and have fun. I recently visted her house and it was really, really sad. Nearly every anecdote she tells is WoW related, and I am starting to dislike being around her.

She has almost entirely escaped into video gaming. She doesn't need to do anything now. She doesn't need to try and find a male, because she has this "boyfriend" online. She doesn't need to find work or anything and she is on government wages.

I find myself getting angry about the whole situation. It's downright awful and she has turned from a fun, hard working person into a lazy, moody and selfish (and if I am being honest, pathetic) person.

So, I'd like to ask the question, do you guys know anyone who is like this? Are any of you yourself like this? Also, if anyone is feeling kind, any advice on what I should do here in regards to my friend? Why did this happen to her?

Sorry to bring the tone down with an unhappy thread, but I'd love to talk about it! This really is the down side to gaming and it is something we should all discuss.

My initial answer was going to be "Well, I am on the Escapist..."

Oh, make believe. Is this friend a teenager or an adult?

This is like when people make threads insisting that their headset chatter over XBLA counts as social interaction, or when they tell you that they're a vampire because they never break from character, even when their fellow emo roleplayers aren't around. I simply don't understand the appeal of fleeing from reality in this way. Sex and drugs are fun and feel adult, and there's something irresistible about being irresponsible with them. Calling a stranger whom you've never seen your boyfriend and allowing electronic fantasies to become the stories of your life? That's not just pathetic, it's unhealthy.

 

[Pyro Paul]

*snip*

Have you sat down and told her she has a problem? Or at the least, that you, a friend, has a problem with what she has become? If not, you probably should start there.

Now note, it could very well go awry and she may get very angry with you, which would also clarify that it's indeed an addiction. But it has to be done, she needs to be confronted sooner rather then later.

I hate when people do this...
It is not productive or helpful.

you view the game as a problem, and want to help them deal with it...

Now either that creates confusion in the individual because you're trying to convince them that something that isn't a problem IS a problem, or it will create anger in the person because you will be actively Attacking their choice in how they spend money which questions their capability as an adult.

Regardless of either/or anything that occurs 'Reinforces and Proves' your point.

It doesn't offer any explination, any understanding, nor does it adress the specific problems that individual may be having with the game.


You can NOT become Addicted to Gaming.

 

[Gigano]

...
The problem is that is really hard to do. She was never a really unhappy person, in fact she was never even an "outsider". I know her very well and she really didn't have anything wrong in her life that she externalised, so it's really really difficult.

Not having any problems isn't enough for a tolerable existence though. In fact, having no challenges to surmount in real life might quickly make it intolerable. If there is no excitement and no rewards to be had, then even the grinding of WoW is preferable, with the consistent influx of digital trinkets.

Guess working towards some +5 fire sword or whatever can substitute for actual meaning and achievement, although as you say going about it that way - rather than playing the game for what it is - is quite pathetic. Unless of course one's consciously chosen individual goals which will make one content and satisfied are actually best served that way, in which case it's a fine choice of methodology and all; But I doubt owning this digital trinket is really an ultimate goal all that many people would set for themselves after reflecting upon it.

 

[funguy2121]

has met a "boyfriend" on it (who doesn't even live in the same country) She doesn't need to try and find a male, because she has this "boyfriend" online.

Ooooohkay...was about to respond favorably but you said that. I get your intention but it still seems a dig at online relationships by saying that they dont count. Being in an online relationship myself(in about 2 weeks it wont be) Im going to say they DO count and in some things even more so than physical relationships. If you didnt mean that then I apologize.

OT: Ya that seems to happen a lot with WOW which is slightly sad to be honest. I do have 2 friends who play WOW who are surprisingly immune to this affect and are still awesome. One used to be enthralled by I presume he freed himself somehow and now plays it casually.

Exclusively online relationships are not relationships. I would suggest that you stop being so sensitive about it and go out and be social.

 

[funguy2121]

real human interaction (Something science has actually proven that humans need on a regular basis)

Science doesn't really deal in absolute proof (except mathematics), but since you brought it up, it's also been proven that that isn't true for everyone. True loners are rare compared to the rest of us, yes, but they exist and they're not pathetic (as a group, I mean. I'm sure a lot of them are pathetic in some way. )
I'm not saying "don't interact socially", of course. I'm saying everyone should decide when, how, with whom, and how often for themselves and not look down on people who choose to live differently from themselves.

Just wanted to point this out. "True loners are not pathetic as a group." Tee hee.

This is like when Dr. Drew says that some women just can't have orgasms. No, some women just haven't yet figured out how to have orgasms.

It's pathetic to compare online interactions with real interactions. Did you hold your relationships with Rob and Tila Tequila to be as important as your relationships with your actual friends? It is not healthy to be a shut-in and run from reality.

 

[DSQ]

My "beef" is with people who hide behind the internet as a blanket of security and in the process fail to live up to real life expectations and completely short cell themselves.

They end up with no money, no job and no life outside of the internet and video games. That's bad. Really, really had and I'm not going to sit here and let people try to argue that it isn't. I think it's really upsetting and destructive.

This, I know a girl who has panic atttacks about going to school because she finds it so hard to interact with people and call the people of a forum I frequent her 'only friends'.

I feel really bad because I know she really isn't giving herself a chance to find herself some real friends because she is so afriad of rejection.

I feel if somone can live with alot of internet frinds then fine its up to them, but most the time I find people with more internet friends than real life friends really crave irl friends no matter how many internet friends they have and it really hurts them.

I say just go up to your friend and tell her you are worryed and feel like WoW is pulling her away from you are a friend.

 

[Pyro Paul]

If you seriously think that (and it seems you do), I don't know how to change your opinion. I have friends that I didn't meet in WoW, and I have friends I did meet there. They're the same quality friends, but the WoW ones are three times as many (not counting my family and relatives, obviously). I do not regret a single hour spent in that game. (Five years worth).

You're partaking in your social relationships through a barrier of security. These friends of yours online aren't really connected to you other than through voice and by game. You have never seen them outside of the game, you have not seen how they interact with the world and you are interacting them with the equivalent of a brick wall between you.

Of course you don't agree with me, you're too entrenched to do so. And that's fine! I realise that people can make friends online, but to suggest that being friends in WoW and being friends in real life is equal is ridiculous.

Real life>Fantasy. Of course there is a place for both and of course you can be enriched by both, but one is significantly more important and holds more gravitas than the other.

Even trying to suggest to me that talking through a laggy voice communication system and cartoon characters is as equal as real life conversation is being completely ignorant to biology. Face to face conversation and non-verbal cues count for a fuck load.

Quite incorrect.

Deeper conversations can easily occur through these 'laggy voice communication systems and cartoon characters' then what one can see in Real Life.

you're more inclined to be Truthful and Tolerant.
This is because you only interact through vocal cues. the Negative markers, social stigmas, and inherant fear issues which occur in interpersonal social interaction in real life do not exist to anywhere the same extent as they do in online communication.

You are more willing to speak your mind, push an issue, or listen intently. You do not make compromises because of what some one else's body language says. And at the same time, because your body language doesn't broad cast to others to stop, you're bound to run into conversations and subject matter you normally wouldn't.

Removing distracting visual cues which would inhibit coversation is acctually something you see quiet often as psychiatrist. Placing the subject looking away from you during a session or the simple 'Close your eyes and listen to the sound of my voice' interaction.

 

[BloodRed Pixel]

socializing through MMORGS seems to me like confusing the handling of a computer mouse with caressing some real T&A. (NOT that ever played WoW). Only the REAL thing is the REAL thing, ...you get my drift.

 

[Pearwood]

Video gaming does have the capacity to completely lure people in. Film, music and books don't have quite as strong of a draw. That's all I'm saying.

They do, if you've ever met a film or book geek you'd see it's just as addictive but what games have that other media doesn't is an unlimited duration. You're never going to finish WoW, by the time you finish one raid instance the next one has been released.

On topic I knew someone like that, more along the lines of one of those annoying forum trolls who make HILARIOUS youtube videos of their Left 4 Dead games and flame everyone who crosses their path. This guy is now 20, not got a job, failed all his GCSEs because he was at home playing Counter Strike, no plans except to live on benefits forever and is claiming to have agoraphobia despite never having had a panic attack in his life.

 

[Doom-Slayer]

Exclusively online relationships are not relationships. I would suggest that you stop being so sensitive about it and go out and be social.

Did you actually read what I wrote? And I'm not being sensitive, they are in fact extremely similar and Ive experienced this having had both kinds of relationships. Physical relationships actually have flaws compared to online ones in my experience, primarily in trust and honesty areas(also seen research into this). Admittedly online relationships lack the physical element which can get strenuous to say the least, but it isn't necessary. Physical contact does is not the entire experience for a relationship, I would of thought that would be extremely obvious. Also nice on the whole "go be social" thing, nicely presumptuous there.

Also once again to the whole "if you haven't meet them irl you haven't seen them", are you living in the 90s? have you never heard of webcams?

Actually I have a story for you, my ncle specifically. Met his current wife online, purely online relationship for about 1-2 years, afterwards he moved over to her, and they got married, been happily married for like 4-5 years. So your saying before they met up, that doesnt count as a relationship, or even as a "friend"?

 

[similar.squirrel]

Quite a lot of defensive..ahem..butthurt in this thread. Gaming can indeed be highly addictive, and addicts come up with a lot of convoluted excuses to justify their habit instead of moving away from their comfort zone.
Spending hours every day pretending to be an elf or a spaceman or whatever is not a good way to he. Perhaps when videogames reach the level of artistic merit displayed by literature, music and film, it will be less detrimental. But right now, spending the majority of your time with the pew-pew is just sad.

 

[cerealnmuffin]

Those games can be addictive for a number of reasons, but many stem to the fact that the person in question feels that their 'real life' is missing something such as friends to connect with, a feeling that their actions matter, or even get noticed.

I used to play one mmo for a long time in my teen years, because it was nice to sign on and have people interact with me as I see myself. Being trans, I had to deal with people at school treating me horribly for not "acting like a man" (even the teachers). The game allowed me to make tons of other nerdy friends and not first be judged by appearances.

Now that I have transitioned and can live my life comfortably being seen as who I am, I don't have the drive to log onto such games. Every now and then I would pick one up and play very casually because I enjoy helping others and playing healer classes. There was never a drive to become "the best" or have amazing equip. I actually get a bit lonely playing most single player games unless it is a game with a very engrossing setting which has that lonely wanderer vibe (even then, i play games maybe one day a week at most... just lost that drive).

Some people continue to log on because they don't see much else going on besides the game. "real life" can be boring and it's nice to have a place readily available to meet other nerds. Pursuits like my writing (^^ talking with pubs about getting it published), playing piano, and exploring a country very different than mine gives me something to look forward out of simulated environments.

side note: I hate when I read stories from sig others who complain their partner plays too many games but they are like "waaah he/she won't watch tv with me anymore". -_- I agree it is bad if someone games too much, but those tv addicts should realize watching tv isn't quality time and is just as if even more so braindead due to lack of thought/being bombarded by commercials.

 

[Discon]

If it makes her happy, who are you to judge?

I agree with this.

The point of living is to be happy, and if this makes her happy, what's the problem?

 

[Daniel Janhagen]

Just wanted to point this out. "True loners are not pathetic as a group." Tee hee.

Ha! That is actually hilarious, now that you mention it. Still, I trust everyone knows what I meant.

Exclusively online relationships are not relationships. I would suggest that you stop being so sensitive about it and go out and be social.

Did you actually read what I wrote? And I'm not being sensitive, they are in fact extremely similar and Ive experienced this having had both kinds of relationships. Physical relationships actually have flaws compared to online ones in my experience, primarily in trust and honesty areas(also seen research into this). Admittedly online relationships lack the physical element which can get strenuous to say the least, but it isn't necessary. Physical contact does is not the entire experience for a relationship, I would of thought that would be extremely obvious. Also nice on the whole "go be social" thing, nicely presumptuous there.

Also once again to the whole "if you haven't meet them irl you haven't seen them", are you living in the 90s? have you never heard of webcams?

Actually I have a story for you, my ncle specifically. Met his current wife online, purely online relationship for about 1-2 years, afterwards he moved over to her, and they got married, been happily married for like 4-5 years. So your saying before they met up, that doesnt count as a relationship, or even as a "friend"?

You're actually a lot better at this than I am. You're like a beacon of light in this hate-thread. (You're not the only one, I just liked what you wrote specifically.) MMO gaming, and other online interactions, can be very social, some people just haven't learned how yet.

Removing distracting visual cues which would inhibit coversation is acctually something you see quiet often as psychiatrist. Placing the subject looking away from you during a session or the simple 'Close your eyes and listen to the sound of my voice' interaction.

I'd never have thought of that. Good comparison!

It's pathetic to compare online interactions with real interactions. Did you hold your relationships with Rob and Tila Tequila to be as important as your relationships with your actual friends? It is not healthy to be a shut-in and run from reality.

I have no idea who this Rob is, and the only interaction I've ever had with Tila Tequila is... actually none. I know who she is, but I don't consider her a friend, or even an aquaintance. I think she's a lousy singer, but I don't care. If it makes her happy, she's welcome to it. I definitely don't go around claiming that it's bad for her.
Also, I refer you to Doom-Slayer, quoted above.

 

[pearcinator]

Just 1 of my mates but he has aspurgers so he has a reason for being a strange pathetic young man.

I take offense to that. I have Asperger's, yet, you don't see me spending all day, every day playing WOW or Guild Wars.

It's no excuse, and, essentially, you're saying that everyone who has Asperger's, is a strange, pathetic person.

That's a rather large demographic to insult, you know.

[sub]Note: I have played WOW. For 1 hour. I got bored, and decided that if this if the best that MMO's have to offer, then I don't like MMO's.[/sub]

I'm sorry, It was not intended to be an insult. I did not intend to imply that every person with Aspergers is the same (and definitely didn't mean to say they are all pathetic). Just saying that my friend is quite strange in social situations because of his Aspergers. I have nothing against people with Aspergers (or any syndrome/disease/disability for that matter).

'Pathetic' isn't even a word I would use to describe anyone. I understand how my post could have been insulting and I apologise. In fact, my friend doesn't even play MMO's (he is actually fully against them) and he's pretty funny most of the time but sometimes he says some strange stuff.

(I would send a vid of my mate saying some weird stuff when he's drunk but I am not that mean)