How many pathetic video gamers do you know?

[Daniel Janhagen]

Take sex, for example. All the good and all the bad, potential and realized, involved in sex. Akwardness, ecstasy, longing, fulfilment, accidents, regret, guilt. You can't feel this the same way when you cheat on your fake internet girlfriend by having fake internet sex with another fake internet friend. You also cannot explode together. You can't introduce her to your parents, or hold her when she cries. You can't wake up next to each other. And yet this is somehow superior to real relationships, because you think it allows for more honesty? Ever seen To Catch A Predator? People lie about their age, their looks, their job, their wealth, every single part of their lives on the internet. At least as much lying occurs between internet friends, if not more, than in the real world.

You can have sex together. You can regret it. You can feel the same way as after "real" sex. You can cry together afterwards, because one person regrets it. I should say I can, actually, and other people can. Apparently not you. Or you just haven't learned how. (You don't have to learn either, you do what you want - I'm not trying to corrupt you and make you one of us or anything.) Also, yes: superior "somehow", in some ways. Not in all ways. I believe he listed the ways in which it was superior, as he saw it. Only very rarely are online relationships sex-relationships though, in my experience. You can be perfectly good friends without sex, I'm sure you'll agree.

Just because something allows for more honesty (which may or may not be the case with internet relationships) doesn't mean it doesn't also allow for more dishonesty. One does not rule out the other. (Just as having an internet relationship does not rule out meeting afk.)

As for not being a hate thread: Well, no; it isn't exclusively a hate thread. There is, however, quite a bit of condemning of lifestyles that I don't think is necessary. The stated purpose of the thread (though not the title of the thread, interestingly) was to help someone, as you say. I'm not sure that was the actual purpose, especially considering the title, but I'm willing to grant the OP the benefit of the doubt, and I'll leave this thread to those that could possibly offer help, which isn't me.

I've made life long friends over the internet, not only that but with some people I never would have met otherwise (in different countries/states). I've moved games and still talk to some of these people about things ranging from how their kids are doing or anything non-gaming related. I love going out with "outside friends" and doing stuff together but I'd still count some of my online friends as equal or sometimes even better friends and have even arranged and gone to meet-ups with a few of them.

For those in the thread that don't know, this is quite common in MMOs. Here is one such gathering ( http://youtu.be/iiJpAcVwNFU my old raiding community), with people from different countries in Europe, (Norway, Holland, Germany and Denmark, I think. I don't actually remember everyone who was there.) and one person from North America. One couple featured in it met in WoW, also.

I'm not willing to tell you people here everything I've done in the way of internet relationships, or really much at all, since you are not one of those serious ones (relationships, I mean. I'm sure you're all very serious ), but I've done a lot of the things you look down on, and I know people who've done a lot more. I give up though: This is not worth it, and I give up on this thread. I bear none of you ill will, but it's too much trouble trying to convince people of the merits of certain lifestyles if they're against it. So long as we're free to spend our free time how we wish, I'm satisfied as far as this topic goes. (For clarity's sake, I don't play MMOs anymore.)

 

[funguy2121]

Take sex, for example. All the good and all the bad, potential and realized, involved in sex. Akwardness, ecstasy, longing, fulfilment, accidents, regret, guilt. You can't feel this the same way when you cheat on your fake internet girlfriend by having fake internet sex with another fake internet friend. You also cannot explode together. You can't introduce her to your parents, or hold her when she cries. You can't wake up next to each other. And yet this is somehow superior to real relationships, because you think it allows for more honesty? Ever seen To Catch A Predator? People lie about their age, their looks, their job, their wealth, every single part of their lives on the internet. At least as much lying occurs between internet friends, if not more, than in the real world.

(1)You can have sex together. You can regret it. You can feel the same way as after "real" sex. You can cry together afterwards, because one person regrets it. I should say I can, actually, and other people can. (2)Apparently not you. Or you just haven't learned how. (You don't have to learn either, you do what you want - I'm not trying to corrupt you and make you one of us or anything.) (3)Also, yes: superior "somehow", in some ways. Not in all ways. I believe he listed the ways in which it was superior.

(4)Just because something allows for more honesty (which may or may not be the case with internet relationships) doesn't mean it doesn't also allow for more dishonesty. One does not rule out the other. (Just as having an internet relationship does not rule out meeting afk.)

(5)As for not being a hate thread: Well, no; it isn't exclusively a hate thread. There is, however, quite a bit of condemning of lifestyles that I don't think is necessary. The stated purpose of the thread (though not the title of the thread, interestingly) was to help someone, as you say. I'm not sure that was the actual purpose, especially considering the title, but I'm willing to grant the OP the benefit of the doubt, and I'll leave this thread to those that could possibly offer help, which isn't me.

(1) How, exactly? Second life? If you consider that sex then you are deluded. That is not sex. You are cheating - cheating yourself, really, by not forcing yourself to have the balls to get out of the house and meet someone to have a real relationship with.

(2) Why? Is this because I'm a luddite? Going online and talking dirty or having a poorly animated avatar have mock sex with another poorly animated avatar is not sex. Aristotle's law of identity doesn't cease to be to serve your hyperreality. Sex is sex. Everything else, is not. Phone sex isn't sex. More than half the people "having sex" in porn films are more than likely not having sex, because they're going through the motions and sharing no emotions whatsoever, even the feelings of conquest/desperation/disdain or the overwhelming rush of a one night stand so they can get paid. Just as "killing" someone in Call of Duty isn't murder and saving the Princess in Zelda doesn't make you a hero, having an exclusively online romantic relationship does not include, in any sense of the term, sex. I don't care if you're orgasming. Some guys jerk it to The Price is Right. Masturbation isn't sex.

(3) Why don't you list the ways in which you feel they are superior? I addressed his claims.

(4) It only does if the people involved aren't stupid. With a long-distance or internet-only relationship it's a lot easier to conceal certain things. The picture of the person you're flirting with may be 10 years old. The skype sex you're having won't give away any clues that she's married, or underage, or has an STD. You can gather a lot of information simply by speaking to a person, but you can't read body language and you can't ascertain the same things that you can when you are an actual part of that person's life.

(5) Did you read the entire thread? More than one person stated that they've lost relationships (the real ones, the ones that matter) over their "lifestyle," and one poster said he flunked out of college because of his gaming habits. I've read your previous posts and most certainly did not give the OP the benefit of the doubt.

I have difficulty believing in video game addiction, though if one can be addicted to sex or shopping I suppose anything is possible. Whether or not you believe it, spending most of your free time sitting on your ass is bad for you, whether you're talking to a buddy in Nepal or watching Seinfeld reruns or leveling up your Elf Knight Mohawk whatever.

Losing friends and jobs because of drinking or sex addiction is very serious business. Losing friends and jobs because of obsessive video game playing may seem strange, but it should be taken just as seriously.

 

[Neo10101]

Yea, I know a couple people similar to this. We still hang out, but not as much, its really that league of Legends that's been doing a lot of damage to my circle of friends recently. Slightly off topic, but what I was thinking of when I read the title, one of my friends is completely pathetic because of how he plays Dungeons and Dragons. Not that he plays, (the game is awesome) but for those of you who don't play, you need to roll dice and add modifiers to determine how well you perform at certain tasks. Except he will consistently lie about everyone of his dice rolls. We will have to watch him like a hawk if we want him to play at least somewhat fair, its completely pathetic.

 

[Doom-Slayer]

-snip

I can see your point and you make a lot of good points. Yes the whole trust issue is extremely important and if Id have to give a number, about 95% of online relationships are going to fail miserably. My first 2 failed for those exact reasons, trust. However yo immediately assume that it CANNOT be overcome, because it can. that's actually what Ive got now, total and complete, no white lies no hiding anything, nothing. And obviously people are going to be skeptical when I say that "Oh but you just THINK shes telling the truth" no..no I don't "think so" I know. Knowing somebody for 5 years, and talking to them via webcam+voice almost every day for a whole year can lend themselves to that, on top of being paranoid to the point of worry. The main point is is that people lie on the internet because they know they can get away with it, and if they aren't willing to say everything about them. Once you get past that barrier (or a just disposed to not lying) then opening up about personal information is far far easier, since there's a lot of physical elements you don't need to worry about.

Next point, the whole physical thing. I'm going to go ahead and say this, YES it is extremely enriching in a relationship, but no its not necessary. Same with the sex example, sex and physical contact are obviously helpful to make a connection but they are necessary. You could have 2 people who never even touch each other, never have sex etc, but who are in a deeply emotional relationship, and I have trouble saying something like "it doesn't count as a "relationship" because you don't have physical contact".

TLR - To round that all up, yes honesty is a big problem, yes it can be overcome and if you can its awesome. No physical contact, or even physical -appearance- isn't a main factor in a relationship, its the emotional connection between 2 people. Yes, I am mad about this Because somebody saying my relationship with my girlfriend "doesn't count" because I haven't met her yet. Also..2 weeks and it wont be online anymore, just throwing that out there.

 

[Doom-Slayer]

You're actually a lot better at this than I am. You're like a beacon of light in this hate-thread. (You're not the only one, I just liked what you wrote specifically.) MMO gaming, and other online interactions, can be very social, some people just haven't learned how yet.

Why thank you But ya everything I'm saying applies to friendships as well. Ive made tons of friends Ive never met or even seen pictures of, it really doesn't matter. Friendships are friendships, whether you can see the person or know what they look like, its about the connection between 2 people, not physical stuff.

 

[funguy2121]

-snip

I can see your point and you make a lot of good points. Yes the whole trust issue is extremely important and if Id have to give a number, about 95% of online relationships are going to fail miserably. My first 2 failed for those exact reasons, trust. However yo immediately assume that it CANNOT be overcome, because it can. that's actually what Ive got now, total and complete, no white lies no hiding anything, nothing. And obviously people are going to be skeptical when I say that "Oh but you just THINK shes telling the truth" no..no I don't "think so" I know. Knowing somebody for 5 years, and talking to them via webcam+voice almost every day for a whole year can lend themselves to that, on top of being paranoid to the point of worry. The main point is is that people lie on the internet because they know they can get away with it, and if they aren't willing to say everything about them. Once you get past that barrier (or a just disposed to not lying) then opening up about personal information is far far easier, since there's a lot of physical elements you don't need to worry about.

Next point, the whole physical thing. I'm going to go ahead and say this, YES it is extremely enriching in a relationship, but no its not necessary. Same with the sex example, sex and physical contact are obviously helpful to make a connection but they are necessary. You could have 2 people who never even touch each other, never have sex etc, but who are in a deeply emotional relationship, and I have trouble saying something like "it doesn't count as a "relationship" because you don't have physical contact".

TLR - To round that all up, yes honesty is a big problem, yes it can be overcome and if you can its awesome. No physical contact, or even physical -appearance- isn't a main factor in a relationship, its the emotional connection between 2 people. Yes, I am mad about this Because somebody saying my relationship with my girlfriend "doesn't count" because I haven't met her yet. Also..2 weeks and it wont be online anymore, just throwing that out there.

I didn't assume that these challenges CANNOT be overcome. I'm glad it's about to become a flesh-and-blood relationship. Are one of you moving?

You may be younger than I am, or you may simply not have the same needs (it's reductive to simply say "sexual" needs and I'm unwilling to talk about cuddling on the Escapist) as I. Either way, I do have quite a few relationships where physical contact isn't necessary (though I do hug every one of the people I love), but I absolutely would not engage in a romantic relationship where sex and all of the other physical stuff wasn't ultimately involved.

 

[Doom-Slayer]

I didn't assume that these challenges CANNOT be overcome. I'm glad it's about to become a flesh-and-blood relationship. Are one of you moving?

You may be younger than I am, or you may simply not have the same needs (it's reductive to simply say "sexual" needs and I'm unwilling to talk about cuddling on the Escapist) as I. Either way, I do have quite a few relationships where physical contact isn't necessary (though I do hug every one of the people I love), but I absolutely would not engage in a romantic relationship where sex and all of the other physical stuff wasn't ultimately involved.

To be fair purely online relationships basically never work because the 2 people cant meet up. Lack of physical contact does make it very difficult, but it is still possible, I for one don't need any physical contact to be in the relationship I'm in. Wold I be able to continue in my current relationship knowing if we would NEVER meet up, ya I probably could, I would prefer not to since obviously physical contact is nice, but I still could and I purposefully would to continue what I have.

And I can fully understand that you wouldn't want a relationship with no physical element, a lot of people wouldnt, which is totally reasonable, Im just saying that some can and do pursue relationships that dont have that element, and they still count just as much.

Offtopic: Shes moving here to go to uni and be a vet, prob is I'm in New Zealand, shes in the states, citizenship, international students and all that nonsense needs to be sorted.

 

[funguy2121]

I didn't assume that these challenges CANNOT be overcome. I'm glad it's about to become a flesh-and-blood relationship. Are one of you moving?

You may be younger than I am, or you may simply not have the same needs (it's reductive to simply say "sexual" needs and I'm unwilling to talk about cuddling on the Escapist) as I. Either way, I do have quite a few relationships where physical contact isn't necessary (though I do hug every one of the people I love), but I absolutely would not engage in a romantic relationship where sex and all of the other physical stuff wasn't ultimately involved.

To be fair purely online relationships basically never work because the 2 people cant meet up. Lack of physical contact does make it very difficult, but it is still possible, I for one don't need any physical contact to be in the relationship I'm in. Wold I be able to continue in my current relationship knowing if we would NEVER meet up, ya I probably could, I would prefer not to since obviously physical contact is nice, but I still could and I purposefully would to continue what I have.

And I can fully understand that you wouldn't want a relationship with no physical element, a lot of people wouldnt, which is totally reasonable, Im just saying that some can and do pursue relationships that dont have that element, and they still count just as much.

Offtopic: Shes moving here to go to uni and be a vet, prob is I'm in New Zealand, shes in the states, citizenship, international students and all that nonsense needs to be sorted.

Cool! Where's she from in the US?

 

[Doom-Slayer]

Cool! Where's she from in the US?

Utah lol. And thats as much as Ill say since we are getting offtopic

 

[funguy2121]

Cool! Where's she from in the US?

Utah lol. And thats as much as Ill say since we are getting offtopic

Fair enough.

 

[ChildishLegacy]

I know more people that pathetically drink in their own time/at social occasions than pathetically game.
It's odd that getting out of your face every time you go out because you're too emotionally/intellectually void to have a conversation other than drunken jiberrish is seen as a more productive use of people's time than gaming and talking to others over the internet (I'm not saying the post was about this, but this is the general public's view)

I really hate teen culture here in England sometimes.

 

[ShadowAurora]

I game alot but i have family troubles...
but my lack of real friends is do to the fact i left them behind to farther my education and when i came back home i was in a new town filled with children im to old to hang with I've searched this city high and low for people of my age group(19)

I think online relationships are bound to fail most of the time but there are ones that are successful and i think its great.

but online friendships are very different and i have one that pretty awesome a dude my age in the UK that shares my same opinions, I don't think people get addicted to games just to the people they talk to when they play said game

like me my first online game was Uncharted 2 and that game annoys the crap out of me now but i still play it cause of the friends i play with both RL & online

I was able to get ahold of some of my old buddies and we've been hanging and soon were going to get a place together after that i get my shit together

I'd say help your friend but trying to control her isn't the way

 

[Daniel Janhagen]

(1) How, exactly? Second life? If you consider that sex then you are deluded. That is not sex. You are cheating - cheating yourself, really, by not forcing yourself to have the balls to get out of the house and meet someone to have a real relationship with.

(2) Why? Is this because I'm a luddite? Going online and talking dirty or having a poorly animated avatar have mock sex with another poorly animated avatar is not sex. Aristotle's law of identity doesn't cease to be to serve your hyperreality. Sex is sex. Everything else, is not. Phone sex isn't sex. More than half the people "having sex" in porn films are more than likely not having sex, because they're going through the motions and sharing no emotions whatsoever, even the feelings of conquest/desperation/disdain or the overwhelming rush of a one night stand so they can get paid. Just as "killing" someone in Call of Duty isn't murder and saving the Princess in Zelda doesn't make you a hero, having an exclusively online romantic relationship does not include, in any sense of the term, sex. I don't care if you're orgasming. Some guys jerk it to The Price is Right. Masturbation isn't sex.

(3) Why don't you list the ways in which you feel they are superior? I addressed his claims.

(4) It only does if the people involved aren't stupid. With a long-distance or internet-only relationship it's a lot easier to conceal certain things. The picture of the person you're flirting with may be 10 years old. The skype sex you're having won't give away any clues that she's married, or underage, or has an STD. You can gather a lot of information simply by speaking to a person, but you can't read body language and you can't ascertain the same things that you can when you are an actual part of that person's life.

(5) Did you read the entire thread? More than one person stated that they've lost relationships (the real ones, the ones that matter) over their "lifestyle," and one poster said he flunked out of college because of his gaming habits. I've read your previous posts and most certainly did not give the OP the benefit of the doubt.

[...]
Losing friends and jobs because of drinking or sex addiction is very serious business. Losing friends and jobs because of obsessive video game playing may seem strange, but it should be taken just as seriously.

1 I feel sorry for you. That is all.
2 I don't care if you care, as long as you don't try to stop me.
3 You really didn't.
4 None of those things are as important as you make them out to be.
5 I'm sure people have lost real relationships because of people like you attacking them and calling them inferior as well.

 

[funguy2121]

(1) How, exactly? Second life? If you consider that sex then you are deluded. That is not sex. You are cheating - cheating yourself, really, by not forcing yourself to have the balls to get out of the house and meet someone to have a real relationship with.

(2) Why? Is this because I'm a luddite? Going online and talking dirty or having a poorly animated avatar have mock sex with another poorly animated avatar is not sex. Aristotle's law of identity doesn't cease to be to serve your hyperreality. Sex is sex. Everything else, is not. Phone sex isn't sex. More than half the people "having sex" in porn films are more than likely not having sex, because they're going through the motions and sharing no emotions whatsoever, even the feelings of conquest/desperation/disdain or the overwhelming rush of a one night stand so they can get paid. Just as "killing" someone in Call of Duty isn't murder and saving the Princess in Zelda doesn't make you a hero, having an exclusively online romantic relationship does not include, in any sense of the term, sex. I don't care if you're orgasming. Some guys jerk it to The Price is Right. Masturbation isn't sex.

(3) Why don't you list the ways in which you feel they are superior? I addressed his claims.

(4) It only does if the people involved aren't stupid. With a long-distance or internet-only relationship it's a lot easier to conceal certain things. The picture of the person you're flirting with may be 10 years old. The skype sex you're having won't give away any clues that she's married, or underage, or has an STD. You can gather a lot of information simply by speaking to a person, but you can't read body language and you can't ascertain the same things that you can when you are an actual part of that person's life.

(5) Did you read the entire thread? More than one person stated that they've lost relationships (the real ones, the ones that matter) over their "lifestyle," and one poster said he flunked out of college because of his gaming habits. I've read your previous posts and most certainly did not give the OP the benefit of the doubt.

[...]
Losing friends and jobs because of drinking or sex addiction is very serious business. Losing friends and jobs because of obsessive video game playing may seem strange, but it should be taken just as seriously.

1 I feel sorry for you. That is all.
2 I don't care if you care, as long as you don't try to stop me.
3 You really didn't.
4 None of those things are as important as you make them out to be.
5 I'm sure people have lost real relationships because of people like you attacking them and calling them inferior as well.

(1) So your follow-up to condescension is false pity? Why don't you answer the question with sincerity?
(2) Why don't you answer the question with sincerity? Why answer at all if you don't "care if I care?"
(3) Why don't you answer the question with sincerity?
(4) Of course; acquiring a lifelong STD that you will potentially pass on to all future partners, knocking up a child and wrecking a family aren't as important as I make them out to be; nor for that matter is the distinction between making love and sending your futa elves to do it. You've awfully condescending for a virgin.
(5) I don't think anyone has lost a relationship because a third party ("people like you") postulated that their relationship is inferior. Part of your problem is that you assign responsibility that belongs to you to others. No one has attacked you or called you inferior. I have pointed out that some of the opinions you've expressed barely stop short of disdain for the real thing, and that speaks to self delusion. If you find this offensive, you can simply say so. There's no need to get all dramatic and claim that people are attacking you or ruining your fake relationships.