For 10 years i was the leading star in the bullies' lunchbreak entertainment. It made me hide behind books and computers, and the lack of proper social interaction with other kids have made me quite anti-social. And the only comfort i had was that there is at least one in each class who has to be a target for the assholes to whom the assholes can "prove" that they are better than anyone else. Unfortunately that choosen was to be me.
In college suddenly all picking stopped, and i soon regained a lot of my self-assurance back, but i am still way behind on social skills. And i wondered where all the bullies went. Maybe they grew out of it?
No, they didn't. As i was conscripted into the military, i found that they hadn't grown out of it, they just switched hunting grounds and targets. A small guy was choosen as target because he was such an easy target, and was from day 60 of our military service to become the subject of jokes, backtalk and general hate-talk.
I tried my best to stop this tragic comedy. It was unstoppable, as the rest of the troop had the stupid idea that "words can do no harm" and that the asshole was quite entertaining when back-talking the victim. I tried confronting the asshole about why. His reasoning? The victim deserved it because of how he talked, dressed and acted. I tried reasoning; the victims dialect or dress code does in no way affect him, and he therefor had no reason for being an asshole. He didn't get it.
Anyway, we finished the year without any "accidents" (but you better believe it, I would NEVER had shed a tear if the asshole fell of a cliff or something), and i was an experience wiser to the why and how of bullies.
Iv'e formed a theory on bullies: they have a constant need to prove to other people that they are better than everyone else. And the best way, do they believe, to prove their worth, is to prove anothers un-worth. The lower down a bully can kick a victim in the eyes of other people, the higher up the bully seems in relasjon.
And the bulles have years of training in making the general population believe the lies them tell about victims. It is almost undetectable, but he starts of with a few harmless jokes to get the laughter rolling. Then follows up with less-and-less funnier stuff, which is more and more obviously lies (but which can in the aftermath be proven to be "just harmless fun" so it is difficult to use against them), but the listener are on a laugh-roll, and at the same time empowered by their friends laughs... It is weird hearing people telling other people about how they want to physically damage a person just because of the way the talks, and people laughing at it.
Well, i have invested a lot of thought in this topic. The why and how. And the question about popularity in school got me on a roll, outputting all the result of my thinking. Today i live free, have good and trusty friends, and look back on my school-years as the darkest years of my life, my own personal hell.
And a last tip: if you find yourself picked on, find a thing you dont care that they pick on you about, and make yourself a target too easily pick on, and they will soon grow tired of picking on you. Of course, you will get to get known as (insert 'fakely exposed weakness' here) but it is better to chose ones own nickname instead of letting your enemy chose a nickname for you...
In college suddenly all picking stopped, and i soon regained a lot of my self-assurance back, but i am still way behind on social skills. And i wondered where all the bullies went. Maybe they grew out of it?
No, they didn't. As i was conscripted into the military, i found that they hadn't grown out of it, they just switched hunting grounds and targets. A small guy was choosen as target because he was such an easy target, and was from day 60 of our military service to become the subject of jokes, backtalk and general hate-talk.
I tried my best to stop this tragic comedy. It was unstoppable, as the rest of the troop had the stupid idea that "words can do no harm" and that the asshole was quite entertaining when back-talking the victim. I tried confronting the asshole about why. His reasoning? The victim deserved it because of how he talked, dressed and acted. I tried reasoning; the victims dialect or dress code does in no way affect him, and he therefor had no reason for being an asshole. He didn't get it.
Anyway, we finished the year without any "accidents" (but you better believe it, I would NEVER had shed a tear if the asshole fell of a cliff or something), and i was an experience wiser to the why and how of bullies.
Iv'e formed a theory on bullies: they have a constant need to prove to other people that they are better than everyone else. And the best way, do they believe, to prove their worth, is to prove anothers un-worth. The lower down a bully can kick a victim in the eyes of other people, the higher up the bully seems in relasjon.
And the bulles have years of training in making the general population believe the lies them tell about victims. It is almost undetectable, but he starts of with a few harmless jokes to get the laughter rolling. Then follows up with less-and-less funnier stuff, which is more and more obviously lies (but which can in the aftermath be proven to be "just harmless fun" so it is difficult to use against them), but the listener are on a laugh-roll, and at the same time empowered by their friends laughs... It is weird hearing people telling other people about how they want to physically damage a person just because of the way the talks, and people laughing at it.
Well, i have invested a lot of thought in this topic. The why and how. And the question about popularity in school got me on a roll, outputting all the result of my thinking. Today i live free, have good and trusty friends, and look back on my school-years as the darkest years of my life, my own personal hell.
And a last tip: if you find yourself picked on, find a thing you dont care that they pick on you about, and make yourself a target too easily pick on, and they will soon grow tired of picking on you. Of course, you will get to get known as (insert 'fakely exposed weakness' here) but it is better to chose ones own nickname instead of letting your enemy chose a nickname for you...
