How to ask a girl out...

[Lust]

Act natural, don't talk about things she's not interested in, and don't worry about rejection.

Uhm, Is it just me or does anyone else kind of feel that the "Act natural" and "don't worry about rejection" parts are somewhat oxymoronic in combination with the "don't talk about things she's not interested in"-part?

I mean, most people who act natural and don't worry about rejection talk about topics that the listeners might not find to be all too interesting, but assume that they will listen anyway and appriciate that one is sharing their interests with others even if those interests aren't shared with the other people in the conversationd, and that everyone participating is willing to repay the favor by listening to others "boring" interests as well?

And speaking for myself here, I certainly wouldn't be "acting natural" if I didn't share anything of my own interests (regardless of how uninteresting they might be to others) during a personal conversations with someone I have a more elaborate attachment to than just being "familiar" with.

It wouldn't feel very natural at all.

You make it seem that people with little to no social fears or who are not like you are boring.

Sure not everyone will listen to what you have to say, but, it doesn't mean you have to change your composure for every person you meet.

Maybe it's because I carry myself very calmly. With a very active imagination. Damn near all the time.

Do I contradict myself?

Yeah, I won't deny it. But, who hasn't?

Does it matter to me?

No, not really.

Society and rejection never scared me. Grrr.

 

[Trebort]

You: I want to put my meat in your taco.
Her: *slap*

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

You make it seem that people with little to no social fears or who are not like you are boring.

Sure not everyone will listen to what you have to say, but, it doesn't mean you have to change your composure for every person you meet.

Maybe it's because I carry myself very calmly. With a very active imagination. Damn near all the time.

Do I contradict myself?

Yeah, I won't deny it. But, who hasn't?

Does it matter to me?

No, not really.

Society and rejection never scared me. Grrr.

No no, it wasn't meant to comment you personally mate, it was just an observation of what you recommended and how it sort of clashes with the way I am personally, and why your recommendation might be a tad wee bit flawed.

And also, I don't demand that you care if you sometimes contradict yourself, and I can somewhat appriciate the fact that you admit that you do it (because it would be a hell of a lot worse if you denied it, when you do it blatantly. It's a sign of self-realizaition and that's never a bad thing).

That being said, if your goal is to help someone other than you, then it might be both to your own benefit and the person you are trying to help if someone like me can be there to point out when your advice somewhat contradicts itself. Wouldn't you agree?

Also, when comparing the advice we've given the OP so far, we are sort of on the same page already. It's just my pedantic observation that found something contradictorial that I found might be of harm to the person in need of our advice.

But that's not meant as a comment on you personally, as I said, it's just an observation.

 

[Zhalath]

To second all the people collectively above who said so, just be thyself and straight up ask her. Quick and painless.

 

[Lust]

You make it seem that people with little to no social fears or who are not like you are boring.

Sure not everyone will listen to what you have to say, but, it doesn't mean you have to change your composure for every person you meet.

Maybe it's because I carry myself very calmly. With a very active imagination. Damn near all the time.

Do I contradict myself?

Yeah, I won't deny it. But, who hasn't?

Does it matter to me?

No, not really.

Society and rejection never scared me. Grrr.

No no, it wasn't meant to comment you personally mate, it was just an observation of what you recommended and how it sort of clashes with the way I am personally, and why your recommendation might be a tad wee bit flawed.

And also, I don't demand that you care if you sometimes contradict yourself, and I can somewhat appriciate the fact that you admit that you do it (because it would be a hell of a lot worse if you denied it, when you do it blatantly. It's a sign of self-realizaition and that's never a bad thing).

That being said, if your goal is to help someone other than you, then it might be both to your own benefit and the person you are trying to help if someone like me can be there to point out when your advice somewhat contradicts itself. Wouldn't you agree?

Also, when comparing the advice we've given the OP so far, we are sort of on the same page already. It's just my pedantic observation that found something contradictorial that I found might be of harm to the person in need of our advice.

But that's not meant as a comment on you personally, as I said, it's just an observation.

Oh.............................................alrighty then. I thought I had a challenge in my midst.

Misunderstanding: Averted!

Please, forgive me.

 

[ParkourMcGhee]

it's the rest that's the hard bit

Haha, I'd almost forgotten this.

Yeah, I liked my 1st girlfriend the best because she came up to me and... well... anyway - after a while it just got really hard to keep her happy, and when I did find something new to do or to go to, she'd blow me off 90% of the time. We're not together anymore :/.

...

also

Spoiler: You hit her over the head with a hammer and do with her body as you wish.

Don't ask an internet forum based around politics and video games about the opposite gender. It won't work.

OT: Ask her whether she wants to go to x - with x being a new thing happening, or a cafe, or paintballing? I have no idea what she likes, that's your job to figure out my friend . Be confident, and not awkward or too forceful. Also even if you follow all these guidelines you've been given be aware of the possibility of outright rejection - you might already have left it too long :S. I don't know how girls' brains work, but I'm doing my best to find out .

Hope some of this helps.

 

[Denizen]

As long as you ask her in a confident way, it will be the correct way. Confidence is the key to almost every social situation.

I can think of some pretty incorrect ways to ask a girl out where confidence will make them even worse

lol, if you intend to do so in a way that will make it worse then by all means do so (nice avatar btw)

 

[Mr.logic]

just be smooth, As smooth as oily butter thats been dipped in liquid silk.

And be happy girls don't respond well(from my own experience) to shyness and bashfullness. Be confident, Imagine it like shes lucky to be talking to you(without being arrogant obviously)and also just don't be over zealous remember...Smooth.

 

[NorthernTrooper]

You: "Begins conversation"

Her: "Continues conversation"

Opportune moment arrives

You: "Hey, you wanna chill sometime, maybe catch a movie?"

Her: "Definitely!"

 

[Godhead]

Just ask her. Strange though it may seem, girls are humans too, not mystical monsters which are likely to bite your head off when approached the wrong way.

I guess I don't have to wear my amulate of anti magic, then...

Yes but upon rejecting you they will devour all of your happiness for the next 3-4 weeks.

 

[TheDrunkNinja]

Don't make it a big deal. In your mind as well as in your presentation. This may be ironic, but treat her more as your friend, or good friend in this case. Don't be afraid to be casual about it and don't talk as if it's a date or anything romantically serious. You want her to be comfortable when your talking to her, that way she feels comfortable around you. Overall, don't get yourself psyched up about this or anything like that, just make her feel like you're someone who she can hang around with and be herself around. That's the key.

 

[miscelaneous]

I'm kinda surprised no one has tossed this in yet:
"Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I've got a knife,
get in the van."

As everyone else said, be straight forward.

 

[Julianking93]

"I want to get to know you better. Want to go out with me some time?"

Seems as good a way as any.

The thread should have ended here.

That's really all you need.

I know rejection is a problem and many people (I'm one of them) have a fear of it, but you really just need to get over it.

What's the worst that could happen? She says no?

Okay, big deal. Her loss. Move on.

 

[Necator15]

I actually had this conversation with a friend of mine the other day. She didn't get why I don't have a girlfriend as apparently I'm both charming and cute (This was news to me) anyway, it really came down the the fact that I didn't know how to ask a girl out properly. These were her pointers:

1.)If you're asking her to be your girlfriend: "Will you be my girlfriend" is probably the best way to ask

2.)Confidence is fucking everything. Meaning, don't slouch, mumble, and look her in the eyes.

3.)Just fucking do it (Her words, not mine.)

If this is just to the social event only two and three apply, obviously. Do have fun, and best of luck.

 

[thedeathscythe]

This is what I do, you gotta be fairly close (we're not talking real estate) and you gotta have a car. You guys let's say, go to that festival, and after words you drive her home. Now if she had a good time with you, this is the right time, if you can tell by the look of her she had a good time. Ask her out right before she gets out. Y'enno when people go "I had a good time tonight" you can go "yeah, me too. Hey, did you wanna *insert movie or dinner or something here*?". Bam. dude that's worked like 5 times with me. You're in person, you just wooed her, it's the perfect time. If she says no, which has happened to me, just play it cool. Say that you just thought you'd go for it because of how the night went.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

As a girl myself I would say MOST of the above is correct. Just ask. Maybe open with a joke, (as has been mentioned) or bring her a small gift. Emphasis on small, like a little plastic flower or a doodle or something of the like.
Also, don't ask while all your friends are watching. Break away from the group for a bit, and then ask.

What about doing it while HER friends are watching?

I've noticed that if you can pull it off without making the "chick horde" smell any fear in you, tend to score some extra points. Although it might depend on the "chick horde" in question and their general disposition.

The jealous and attention grabbing chick horde tend to start to criticize the guy because he didn't ask anyone of them out instead. The confident and supportive kind of chick horde however tend to be the kind of girls who are the best at pulling out their somewhat shy friends from their shells and encourage them to take the guys offer.

 

[mike1921]

As long as you ask her in a confident way, it will be the correct way. Confidence is the key to almost every social situation.

I can think of some pretty incorrect ways to ask a girl out where confidence will make them even worse

lol, if you intend to do so in a way that will make it worse then by all means do so (nice avatar btw)

Nah, I'm done scaring and harassing women now. Now I just feel lonely and want a girlfriend to hug....Probably because I've been out of school for all of last year (cancer) and have had no social contact in that year.

Thank you

 

[godofallu]

OP: Did you ask the girl yet?

 

[Dango]

You already got past the hardest part, which is building up the courage to do it. So basically, all you need to do is say "Hey, do you wanna go out sometime?" as mentioned previously.

Also, be sure to tell us the outcome, because I'm very excited to hear it.

 

[jaing1138]

Yeah though its so much easier if you dont know them that well and the girl is not one of your best friends then it becomes so much more difficult...