How to break away from my girlfriend

[MiserableOldGit]

Spend all day playing computer games, never let a point of disagreement between you go, stop washing, stare at other womens arses like next weeks lottery numbers are on them, suggest she spend more time with her 'really good friends that happen to be men', refer to her tits as 'fun bags' (you may be able to come up with a few charming pet names for other body parts) spend all your money on booze/weed/computer games/junk food (delete as personally applicable), leave post-its with girls names and telephone numbers in strategic areas, start listening to death metal/Dean Martin depending on where she stands on the musical scale.

If that little lot don't you dumped within a week it must be love...

 

[SultanP]

Just stop paying for her and driving her around, she'll probably get the hint.

 

[Emperor Inferno]

My current girlfriend is just using me. I buy most of the things for her. I drive her around but i don't know how to just brake off from her cause she is just being a *****, by using me and playing with my emotions. How should i tell her off?

Okay, you've taken step one: stating the problem. Now say it to her. and since she is a using *****, be sure to be real harsh about it, those types don't get the message unless you're mean about it. Tell her she's a ***** and you're sick of her using you, and that it's over.

There's only one way to break it off: JUST BREAK IT OFF. She's a ***** and she's just using you, why should you give a fuck how she feels?

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Pretty sure we've got a relationship thread for this kind of thing.

That said, just tell her it's over.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

Give her a nice long foot massage, and when you're done say "honey, I only did that so it wouldn't hurt so much walking everywhere from now on."

if she asks you why you said that or does anything except walk away just say "it's over" and repeat it till she's crying and walk away slowly. if she doesn't cry or if she's in your house tell her you don't want her in your presence and would rather spend time cleaning gutters than being her *****.

if all else fails dump her by text or on facebook where appliccable as those are the more infuriating ways to dump someone. and if she calls you after you break up with her and you tell her to stop and she calls you again, ignore it. screen your calls... or better when you hear her voice on the other end scream and scream and scream until you need a lozenge and thus hang up the phone to go get one, or she hangs up and gets the point.

 

[Flos]

My current girlfriend is just using me. I buy most of the things for her. I drive her around but i don't know how to just brake off from her cause she is just being a *****, by using me and playing with my emotions. How should i tell her off?

"Hey, listen, it's not working out between us, you see you're an annoying git who just spends my money and abuses me, so i'm gonna go find a girl who isnt a total *****, best of luck to you sweetheart"

used it many times, always leaves you satisfied

That's, uh, clearly working out for you. Having to use it so many times and all. Yeah.

Have you ever considered that you might be the problem?

 

[JamminOz07]

My current girlfriend is just using me. I buy most of the things for her. I drive her around but i don't know how to just brake off from her cause she is just being a *****, by using me and playing with my emotions. How should i tell her off?

Just cheat on her with her best friend.

Works (almost) every time, and if it doesn't work... threesome baby

 

[shadowstriker86]

My current girlfriend is just using me. I buy most of the things for her. I drive her around but i don't know how to just brake off from her cause she is just being a *****, by using me and playing with my emotions. How should i tell her off?

"Hey, listen, it's not working out between us, you see you're an annoying git who just spends my money and abuses me, so i'm gonna go find a girl who isnt a total *****, best of luck to you sweetheart"

used it many times, always leaves you satisfied

That's, uh, clearly working out for you. Having to use it so many times and all. Yeah.

Have you ever considered that you might be the problem?

my problem being that i've had to hack my way through a briarpatch of psycho bitches to get to the chick im with now? ya, i'll admit it that i was the problem of not being nuts

 

[Flos]

My current girlfriend is just using me. I buy most of the things for her. I drive her around but i don't know how to just brake off from her cause she is just being a *****, by using me and playing with my emotions. How should i tell her off?

"Hey, listen, it's not working out between us, you see you're an annoying git who just spends my money and abuses me, so i'm gonna go find a girl who isnt a total *****, best of luck to you sweetheart"

used it many times, always leaves you satisfied

That's, uh, clearly working out for you. Having to use it so many times and all. Yeah.

Have you ever considered that you might be the problem?

my problem being that i've had to hack my way through a briarpatch of psycho bitches to get to the chick im with now? ya, i'll admit it that i was the problem of not being nuts

I dunno, comrade. We usually change the independent variable when we want a different slope.

Hacked your way through psycho bitches to get to your current girlfriend?

Enjoy your delusions.

 

[Doctor_Insano]

this might work: stop buying her things, and stop driving her places. i let them break up with me, easier that way, and they can believe it was all my fault, until they realize it was mostly theirs... i told one girl that i tell my dad everything she ever says or does to me, and she cried. hehe sometimes honesty is the best policy, but taking her purse, throwing it outside, and locking her out, turning off the lights and calling the police saying she is trespassing is pretty funny too.

 

[shadowstriker86]

My current girlfriend is just using me. I buy most of the things for her. I drive her around but i don't know how to just brake off from her cause she is just being a *****, by using me and playing with my emotions. How should i tell her off?

"Hey, listen, it's not working out between us, you see you're an annoying git who just spends my money and abuses me, so i'm gonna go find a girl who isnt a total *****, best of luck to you sweetheart"

used it many times, always leaves you satisfied

That's, uh, clearly working out for you. Having to use it so many times and all. Yeah.

Have you ever considered that you might be the problem?

my problem being that i've had to hack my way through a briarpatch of psycho bitches to get to the chick im with now? ya, i'll admit it that i was the problem of not being nuts

I dunno, comrade. We usually change the independent variable when we want a different slope.

Hacked your way through psycho bitches to get to your current girlfriend?

Enjoy your delusions.

until the day you deal with a chick that tries to shoot you for dumping her cheating ass, a chick that has a thing for chicks and wont let you join in and a chick that tries to force you to marry her, you'll never know what its like to hack your way through the psycho bitches

 

[Master_Corruptor]

If you don't like the girl then i say.. LIVE LARGE !!
Go unleash your solider and have fun... (aka cheat on her like no tomorrow)
When she finds out she'll most likely break up or shoot you in the face...
Let's hope for the first xD

 

[Murlin]

Spoiler: this...

...Always works

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Kill her. Problem solved.

 

[Aesthetical Quietus]

My current girlfriend is just using me. I buy most of the things for her. I drive her around but i don't know how to just brake off from her cause she is just being a *****, by using me and playing with my emotions. How should i tell her off?

Tell her how you feel. Either you two will break up, or she'll become aware and hopefully try to change. Either way you win.

 

[Soxafloppin]

Stop buying her shit, if thats all she wants she will fuck off.

 

[Blackadder51]

Talk to her about it, thats what i did

 

[wonkey20]

Just say its not working out and that your sorry.. Make sure you walk away so she cant use her gypsie girl talk on you to lure you back in.