How to fuck with people.

[z3rostr1fe]

1. Get a box of milk
2. Pour it down to partner
3. ???
4. PROFIT!

 

[Urgh76]

I swear this is a true story, one that I delight in telling whenever the person it concers is around:

A friend of mine once went to the local store for some vasaline, because he had dry lips. When he was heading out of the house he called to his flatmate asking whether the flatmate wanted him to pick up anything from the store, and the flatmate said that yes, he was running low on condoms so could my friend pick up a box? Exactly who asks their friend to do this I'm not sure, but that's not the point. Anyway, my friend picks up the vasaline and condoms at the store and thinks to himself 'you know, it's fairly embarasing visiting the store just for this. I'll pick up something else too,' so he grabs the nearest item and heads for the checkout.

Arriving at the checkout with a tub of vasaline, a box of condoms and a cucumber, he realises that he should have put some thought into the third item.

*COUGH* Don't mind me..... I'm fine...... my guts just busted......

 

[Dr. wonderful]

Got a new one. Walk into your bank with a pair of gloves. Be the last person in line and lightly tap the person shoulder. Say this while putting on the gloves:

"Now, would be a good time to leave."

 

[kortin]

Trap them in a corner
<youtube=8NQSX7Mne3A>

I LOVE THAT GUY

 

[DrEmo]

Several:

1. Go to Best Buy dressed in a blue polo top and long Khaki pants. When asked if you work there, just say "no". If the employees give you any trouble, tell them that you happen to like your blue shirt and just walk away.


2. Go to a supermarket and turn everything in one aisle upside down.


3. Find someone eating greasy food with a bottle of water, ask them "Watching the figure?"


4. Go to a store, put a few bottles of liquor on the counter. Nonchalantly ask the cashier if he/she likes one of the liquors you're buying. After the cashier's reply, say "Really? I've never had it, but my kids LOVE this stuff." Works best if you're young.


5. Buy a 2 boxes of Hot Pockets, a tube of Preparation H and a pack of Toilet Paper. When at the checkout, look at the cashier with a worried face.


6. Get a buddy of yours. Both of you dress alike. Go to a public store and strike up a conversation with someone (preferably alone). Say you have to go and be on your way. Have your friend sneak up behind them and strike up a conversation with them. Watch their confusion and enjoy it.

 

[Pinstar]

My absolute favorite is straight from a line of MST3K

1. Ask a person a bunch of questions, the more pointless, the better. Get them to the point of irritation.
2. Once they pry themselves from you, let them walk about 20 feet away then call to them, make it sound urgent. Claim "One last question, promise"
3. If you are good enough actor, or they're just gullible and walk back to you, let them have that last question "How far do you think you'd be if I hadn't called you back here?"

 

[Solo-Wing]

Got one from Demetri Martin. Get about 2 dozen empty bottles and put notes in them. Then REALLY early in the morning go to the beach and throw them out to sea. Then later in the day when people start to arrive and find them, when they pick them up quickly sneak behind them and wait till they read the note in the bottle that reads "I'm standing right behind you."

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Hand TSA (the airport security in USA that likes to fondle people) suitcase
Plug ears
(Yeah, it's a courage wolf, but a damn good one)

From Dimitri Martin

Leave a noteboook open in a public area with the following written

To Do List:
1. Get Notebook
2. Place notebook on ground
3. wait for person to pick up notebook
4. get person

Also from Dmitri Martin:
Send out messages in bottles, and wait by the beach where they wash up.
When they wash up and a person reads it, walk up to them.
Message reads: "I'm right behind you."

 

[SilentCom]

Remi Gaillard does a lot of random stuff to mess with people. One great example is the Elevator clip he did:

 

[DJ_DEnM]

(As the 15 year old I am, that does not want any flaming) Go and ask for XL condoms and the cashier's number (Male or female).

 

[Hawk eye1466]

Me and my friend once bought chineese food and went to the 5 guys next to it and sat down to eat at one of their tables
I would walk into a sporting goods store wearing facepaint and army gear and ask if you can feel all the basketball's in the store

 

[Not George Carlin]

Pass a stranger a note saying, "We're being taped."

 

[mjc0961]

I have 2 ways.
1. Go to a book store and white out Waldo in the Where's Waldo book. (Thank you Cyanide and Happiness)
2.Buy a combination of items that freak out the cashier at a store the most. Current winners:
A. Tube of K-Y jelly and a Banana/Cucumber
B. Pregnancy test and a single coat hanger.

You forgot to thank xkcd for #2. http://xkcd.com/236/

Anyway, there are some other great ones in the xkcd archives, such as this: http://xkcd.com/389/

 

[Lilani]

There is a YouTube channel that has clips from a hidden-camera show in the UK that does exactly this. Here's a few of their best pranks: