How to get out of the "Friend Zone"?

[zidine100]

heres a hint, dont go in with a plan, plans always just skrew things up royaly, just improvise and somewhat and it should work out for the best, but the just us 2 part to watching the film, hmmm sounds kind of suspicious ITS A TRAP! ehmm sorry no really that could be a hint.

actually i would recomend holding back unless theres some signal, you do not want to ruin her birth day not going to end well with that one.

 

[Duskwaith]

Get over her;

Become bitter and cynical;

Then come join the rest of us.

Ohh the bitterness!! I love it

 

[TheBarefootBandit]

Me thinks your screwed.. and not in the good way.. But I would attempt to screw her anyway.(in the good way)

Now that's clarity.

 

[anthony87]

You're still a kid, you ain't in love, trust me on that. You'll look back in a few years and laugh about it all.

Truest thing that's been said so far. Seriously the word "love" gets chucked around so much these days that it's lost all damn meaning.

 

[anthony87]

Get over her;

Become bitter and cynical;

Then come join the rest of us.

Ohh the bitterness!! I love it

Why thank you.
I thought that comment had just the right touch of "hates the world" in it.

 

[madman485]

 

[Snowalker]

Me thinks your screwed.. and not in the good way.. But I would attempt to screw her anyway.(in the good way)

Now that's clarity.

It was a joke, thats why I made it sound like that.

I was saying, its useless cause, might aswell give it up. But hey, you never know, give it a shot.

 

[Davey Woo]

If you text her/email her (something similar)
start putting stuff like "love you" (nothing too drastic, be subtle) at the end of the messages, its kinda like a subliminally, thing. It helps to get the message across without directly telling her.

 

[Good morning blues]

You know what a great way to find out if a girl likes you is? Fucking kiss her. If you're not willing to risk the friendship, your only option is to get over the crush.

 

[EMFCRACKSHOT]

I don't get this whole "friend zone" thing. Do a lot of girls have it??? I literally have people that I'm attracted to and people that I'm not attracted to.

I just don't get it. The people that I wouldn't go out with, I wouldn't go out with because I don't want to have sex with them. Sometimes I think this "friend zone" thing is a totally made up concept

Its more of a male concept to help us try to understand the female psyche. You are a very strange people.

As for my advice, leave it well enough alone. Their is no return from the friend zone. My one and only attempt at this ended our friendship.
Love is a dangerous emotion anyway, one humans would be better off without. This is something both jedi and sith agree on so it cant be wrong

 

[RyanGannon]

I started going out with guys. Works well.

 

[Amnestic]

If you text her/email her (something similar)
start putting stuff like "love you" (nothing too drastic, be subtle) at the end of the messages, its kinda like a subliminally, thing. It helps to get the message across without directly telling her.

Possibly the least impressive response out of all of them. Way to show a girl you're committed, not to mention giving her mixed messages which is incredibly deceitful.

Perfect way to start a potential romance. With trickery and subtle clues rather than being honest and open.

Fucking kiss her.

Fucking kiss her.

Fucking kiss her.

Do these, not necessarily in that order.

 

[esperandote]

Hello.

I know this post is maybe out of place, since this is a gaming forum. But I am kind of a lurker and I really like this Community and think you guys and gals can help me

The problem is that I have fallen for my best girl friend and I am in love with her. But I don't know if she is interested in me. She send me mixed signals all the time. Some examples is: Our teacher told the girls "that if you are going to get a boyfriend the guy need to be good at writhing poems." And she told me that the next boyfriend she is having have to be good at writhing poems, so I have to learn you to write good poems.

But then she also says stuff like she don't want a new boyfriend that is in the same class (I am in the same class as her) And she always tells me about the new crushes she is having and guys she like. And she tells me that I am her best friend.

And now the 31th she invited me to her birthday and we are going to watch a movie just us 2 I think. And I want to kiss her or tell her how I feel but I don't want to ruin our friendship.

So fellow Escapist's can you help me?

hmm it sound like you're in too deep in the friends zone, that positive mixed signal doesn't sound that definitive (as much as you might want them to) while the negative ones do.

Don't be a fool and try to make something radical or too straight foward like trying to kiss her or bringing her serenata while drunk, wich are good later laugh but really don't work. start a light conversation and tell her that you've thought about how you two might be a great couple and that you would want to give that a try. If it doesnt work then the rejection embarrasment wont be to high and the chances of hurting the relationship will be low. You might want to tell her that near the end of the day, preferably after having a great day. Dont think about that all the day before doing it, relaxed.

In case she tells you shes going to think about it dont let many days pass before she tells you what she tought, ask her lightly as when you asked her the first time.

in case she say yes the her how happy you are that she accepted, stay cool all the time!

 

[Emperor Inferno]

Tell her you want to talk and if she is willing to, tell her how you feel. Ask her if she will give you a chance. If you are really her best friend, then if she doesn't want a relationship, at least she'll be sweet and let you down gently. Worst case scenario: "Oh. I'm really sorry, I just don't feel that way about you." Best case: "I have feelings for you, too. Yeah, let's give it a shot." Something along those lines.

You stand to gain a lot here, and if she really cares about you as a friend that deeply, you don't stand to lose too much. Trust me, if you really love her and don't take that chance, you will spend a very, very long time regretting it and hating yourself for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, so take a chance. Go for it. Just don't be all pushy and/or insistent, that'll probably repel her more than anything else.

 

[The_Healer]

-snip-

Man the fuck up and tell her.
Also, stop acting like a friend and start acting like a guy who she should be genuinely interested in.
Anyway, its obvious that you just suck because I have never been in this situation.
Do some exercise, become a genuinely desirable person and then she will be the one who feels awkward about liking you.

Spoiler: Then you can

Date the shit out of her

 

[Anaryl]

Start flirting with her. Ignore all the advice in this thread. Seriously.

You can get out of the friend zone but you have act like a man. You need to get her to stop viewing you as the shoulder to cry on. She tells you all this stuff because she's not threatened by you. Don't try and approach women logically, it does not work. So avoid applying your own interpretation to things. Start slow, joke about she's getting you round to her place to seduce you. You need to get her thinking about you not as a friend but as a guy. I still doubt from your post though that you have the skills enough to pull it off without screwing it up though: just be subtle and play it off as joking around.

That said it's already too late. She simply isn't attracted to you, and being "in love" with someone who doesn't feel the same way is some of the most gut wrenching torture that you will ever have to endure. You say you don't want to lose the friendship but in reality you just think that some day, doing the same thing is actually going to work for you. It isn't. Just move on and value the friendship you have with this girl. Sitting around and letting her walk all over you is never going to get you anywhere. Hell if you find someone else you'll probably make her realise that she likes having a doormat around. Alternatively use her to find someone for you.

Either way, you're probably too young to make this happen.

FYI I'm 24 and most of my friends are envious of my ability to pick up. Word of advice in the future: you will get along with women 1000 times better when you stop giving a fuck.

 

[cheesemanxl]

Best way to get out of the friend zone hmmm...


I would try a humvee with action missles surgically grafted to my shoulders but thats just me.

 

[GoldenCondor]

What, are you kidding?
A girl told me this advice:

"If you really like a girl, grab her by the ass and tell her it! Don't keep it from yourself."

It sounds weirder in English than in Russian.

 

[Dys]

Sleep with her. That's all I could think of. Sorry.

/ninja'd

Seriously, best way to get out of the friends zone is to sleep with someone. That way, if you don't end up going out with them you're right in the "awkard hookup" zone. Sexual tension is fun...
...If you sleep with her, make sure you make it clear you want to go out with her.