How will you handle Santa and your kids?
- Thread starter zombiejoe
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Tell 'em Santa doesn't exist and we're the ones keeping track of whether or not they have been good or bad. I've always thought it kind of silly to tell your kids that a third party authority is the one monitoring their behavior, even if he is supposed to be omniscient. I don't think kids really understand the impact of omniscience (especially young children). When I found out Santa wasn't real I behaved better around the times I figured my parents would be buying gifts. I'd probably tell them not to spoil it for other children, but wouldn't fault them if I got angry calls if Johnny's mom about how my kid ruined Santa for her son.
I'm not bothering with it. I'll just give them presents at Christmas because I don't really want them to get upset when inevitably a school bully tells them Santa ain't real then be upset with me for lying to them.
I'm not religious but I still celebrate Christmas, since its basically just a re-purposed pagan solstice holiday. What to do, what to do...
I've actually been exploring this question with my wife, as my boys are almost-3 and nearly-2, and old enough to recognize the visage of Santa, if not be fully aware of his story. So the issue will arise probably in the next year or two, not because it will be the Moment of Truth for Santa, but because that's when they'll understand well enough that we'll need to know how to treat him.
What I know for sure is I don't want to lie to them outright, and try to sell them on a fiction contrived from a hundred-year-old poem and a Coke campaign. Neither do I want to compromise my credibility later in life when I talk to them about real faith and expect them to distinguish between "you can't see Jesus but He's real" and "you can't see Santa but he's real, except oh wait, no he's not".
I also have the real story of Saint Nicholas to fall back on, so they will know there's a real story behind the man, and that he represents the spirit of Christmas because he gave to others in secret. One other thing that helps is that VeggieTales did a video about Saint Nicholas, telling the story of the real man while working in some of the imagery associated with the modern American Santa. So that might present an opportunity for me to educate them at an even earlier age.
Both of them are very clever already, and Nathaniel in particular has a very active imagination. So I may just behave around them the way I do around grown-ups: talk in "real" terms about Santa but with tongue planted firmly in cheek, and maybe they'll play along with it. But I WON'T try to convince them that the Santa and the elves and the reindeer and such are really really real.
What I know for sure is I don't want to lie to them outright, and try to sell them on a fiction contrived from a hundred-year-old poem and a Coke campaign. Neither do I want to compromise my credibility later in life when I talk to them about real faith and expect them to distinguish between "you can't see Jesus but He's real" and "you can't see Santa but he's real, except oh wait, no he's not".
I also have the real story of Saint Nicholas to fall back on, so they will know there's a real story behind the man, and that he represents the spirit of Christmas because he gave to others in secret. One other thing that helps is that VeggieTales did a video about Saint Nicholas, telling the story of the real man while working in some of the imagery associated with the modern American Santa. So that might present an opportunity for me to educate them at an even earlier age.
Both of them are very clever already, and Nathaniel in particular has a very active imagination. So I may just behave around them the way I do around grown-ups: talk in "real" terms about Santa but with tongue planted firmly in cheek, and maybe they'll play along with it. But I WON'T try to convince them that the Santa and the elves and the reindeer and such are really really real.
Tell them that some people believe that Santa Claus is real and others don't. It wouldn't be fair for them to tell them that he doesn't exist and have them turn into social weirdos amongst others their age just because they don't believe the same thing. Plus for kids Santa Claus is a big part of what makes Christmas so fun. Depriving them of that doesn't seem right, whether it's the "truth" or not. And at the same time I wouldn't want to lie to them, even if it is not that harmful. So instead I'll do what I plan on doing in situations like this, let them decide for themselves. If they want to believe they can believe, if they don't that's fine as well. I'd much rather help them to make decisions on their own for things like this rather than always rely on others to tell them.
I'll make sure they understand what happens to little boys and girls who go accepting gifts from strange men. Especially the kind who sneak into their homes.
Unless I've matured a bit more by then, at which time I expect I'll explain the origin of the myth and assure them that there will be no presents from Santa in our house.
Unless I've matured a bit more by then, at which time I expect I'll explain the origin of the myth and assure them that there will be no presents from Santa in our house.
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Ditto!Nimcha said:
Really though, to all you scrooges who are going, "I'd tell them there's no such thing because lying is stupid and my smug moral superiority supersedes my child's desires and right to experience something innocently magical while they can before they have to know some of the horrors of this world, even for only a couple years until they would have grow out of it and figured out that santa doesn't exist on their own anyway.", well there's nothing wrong with a few years of naieve fun. Let them have it.
Kids aren't stupid and even at that age, I myself knew there was something fishy about the idea of Santa, but I played along because free shit is cool and fun. Did I resent my parents for making stuff up? Absolutely not. It's a whole cultural thing. Imagine going to school and finding out you're the only one who Santa visits, and nobody else had heard of him...that would be fucked up right? So why turn your kid into that little ***** who goes around saying, "my mommy and daddy said there's no such thing!" and ruins it for others?
My guess is you're the same type of people who petition to cancel trick-or-treating, or chocolate on easter.
Fuck da (fun) po-lice!
I think you're giving kids too much credit to enjoy abstractions. I found out Santa wasn't real pretty young (5)[footnote]Due to Home Alone style antics.[/footnote], and it didn't upset me or my brother. We weren't social outcasts, we still loved Christmas. I mean, if you stop giving them gifts when they stop believing, they might resent finding out the truth for a while. That was actually the reason my brother and I didn't tell anyone we knew Santa wasn't real. We figured that if we did, we would get less or no presents. At the very least, you're overgeneralizing. I'm sure for a fair amount of kids, the joy in Christmas is the presents and seeing extended family, not Santa. The reason children care about Santa is the presents. Take away the gifts and he's a fat old man who comes into your house and eats cookies and milk.Irony said:
It's rather unlikely to come up, since I've no intention of having kids with a Christian (I prefer to date girls from polytheistic/pagan faiths---Wiccans, Roman revivalists, Norse/Asatru chicks, that sort of thing.)
The kids will probably be raised with a combination-flavored religious diet and in December will get a Saturnalia or a Yule. Gifts are from Mom and Dad, and if they ask about Santa it will be treated with the same "that's what other kids' moms and dads believe" effort to instill religious tolerance as questions about Jesus or Mohammed or Buddha.
The kids will, however, be instructed not to tell other kids that Santa isn't real. When they ask why, the answer will be something like "because it's mean to tell someone their beliefs aren't real and you're not a mean kid." Since they'll probably have some experience with the children of fundie assholes (let's face it, there's always at least one such family around in any community---I still remember that kid from my school who bullied me because I didn't believe in his flavor of God---until I hit puberty, got big and strong, and kicked his ass), that won't be a foreign concept to them.
The kids will probably be raised with a combination-flavored religious diet and in December will get a Saturnalia or a Yule. Gifts are from Mom and Dad, and if they ask about Santa it will be treated with the same "that's what other kids' moms and dads believe" effort to instill religious tolerance as questions about Jesus or Mohammed or Buddha.
The kids will, however, be instructed not to tell other kids that Santa isn't real. When they ask why, the answer will be something like "because it's mean to tell someone their beliefs aren't real and you're not a mean kid." Since they'll probably have some experience with the children of fundie assholes (let's face it, there's always at least one such family around in any community---I still remember that kid from my school who bullied me because I didn't believe in his flavor of God---until I hit puberty, got big and strong, and kicked his ass), that won't be a foreign concept to them.
Tell the youngins hes real until theyre around 10-11. Then they ask me i'll tell them said truth.
We have always "played Santa." We knew and accepted that it wasn't real, but played along for the spirit of it.
BWAHAHAHA Win!Swarley said:
Hehehe tell them that XD
Me I'll just tell them about the man who brought about the Legend of Santa Claus and that he died hundreds of years ago. Now for the real meaning of Christmas.... every year..he comes back as a zombie who mangles and eats the flesh of naughty children and then wraps a few of their body parts up in a present and gives it to the good little boys and girls as a warning of what happens when you're naughty...Merry Deathmas....MWHAHAHA