How would you check to see if someone wasn't human at all?

[DEAD34345]

Walk near them while wearing a bunch of magnets, garlic, holy crosses, and also try hoovering them at the same time. I think that's all the bases covered...

If they react strangely to any of those then they are some kind of supernatural entity/robot. Unless they just think you're weird, I guess.

I'd ask them about Mudcrabs, and see if they break eye contact for the entire conversation. Normally you can just tell these uncanny valley types from looking hard enough.

Nasty things, but I heard the meat's not too bad. I mean... uh, never-mind.

[sub]I'm not a robot.[/sub]

 

[XDravond]

I'm most in the "shotgun to the face... if they survive, run" camp, but if survival is necessary then well I'm out of ideas and well the subject is dead/I'm already running....

 

[Treblaine]

Me, I'd get them to watch Toy Story 3. If they didn't cry or be at all moved by that film (yeah, I just saw it. How did you guess?) then they have no soul and are either undead, a robot, or both.

So, suppose you suspect your neighbour of being something of that kind? How would you check?

Even Neanderthals had strong emotion and reacted to loss. For example they found Neanderthal remains of those with long term debilitating illnesses so they MUST have been cared for.

But then again, many specialists refer to neanderthal and Homo-erectus as "Human species".

So what are you asking?

To tell if it is a person accessing a terminal with limited interaction (i.e. typing ASCII characters)?

Well that's a reverse Turing test, we take one every day with the CAPTCHA.

(PS: yes it IS a 'reverse' Turing test because although it is still the same objective, "to recognise who is human" the roles are reversed, it is a human trying to prove it's human to a machine. Rather than a machine trying to say it's human to a human.)

An INVERSE Turing test would be a machine trying to prove it was a machine and not a person.

 

[BSCCollateral]

Genetic test. Of course, maybe the sample was taken from the living body it uses as a host, so...

Genetic test and MRI.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

I would make them take an IQ test and record the results. I would then make them sit through an hour of the Jeremy Kyle Show. I would make them retake the IQ test and compare the result to the previous test. A real person would have suffered an almost catastrophic fall in IQ.

Or I'd place them in a mental hospital and wait to see if they start curing all the other patients.

 

[Richardplex]

I'd ask them about Mudcrabs, and see if they break eye contact for the entire conversation. Normally you can just tell these uncanny valley types from looking hard enough.

I can't help but find that ironic, considering Kyubey is your avatar.

 

[ImprovizoR]

Easy.

I'd say, "Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother."

If they don't shoot me, human.

Ace! I can't believe it's been 2 pages without anyone figuring out the reference yet. And this is coming from a guy who doesn't even like that movie enough to watch it more than once.

 

[inFAMOUSCowZ]

If I believed it to be a robot, I'd simply say "This sentence is false."

 

[GigaHz]

If I believed it to be a robot, I'd simply say "This sentence is false."

What if they said true?

I personally unscrew the gas cap. Never failed me yet.

 

[Treblaine]

Genetic test. Of course, maybe the sample was taken from the living body it uses as a host, so...

Genetic test and MRI.

I wouldn't bother with MRI, it takes long enough to find something when you know what is wrong and where, let alone scanning the entire body.

Also, if they have any iron in them they could be killed as soon as they were taken near the super-magnet. Then of course if they were being deceitful they could throw any test simply by refusing to stay PERFECTLY STILL for up to an hour at a time.

DNA test would be most useful.

Of course they might be a clone, but they'd still be a human clone.

But if they were a chimera...

A Chimera is an organism made up of the parts of two different fertilised eggs that then grew in patches synchronous with each other.

So aliens/super-computers/whatever

I'd start with a simple X-ray, they can tell a lot and it's probably the single safest procedure that can tell you the most.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

Well, why does it matter if they're not human? Racist against other species/creatures are we?! The nerve...

If they brought it up I would acknowledge their lack of being human. Otherwise I would let it slide. Sometimes its a bit of a touchy subject

 

[LordOmnit]

I've got your no- OH MY GOD!

If this game produces anything other than a thumb between my fingers then they definitely aren't human.

 

[Harry Mason]

Poke 'em real hard in the bellybutton. If they don't yell out in pain, IMPOSTOR!

 

[FolkLikePanda]

If you find an acidic substance instead of blood, then you have a g... I'm gonna stop there =P

 

[Delsana]

If they lied.

Humans have the tendency to lie like nothing else.

I'd really just have to ask a few pointed questions and watch their reactions over a few weeks.

 

[Uskis]

It's simple: Piece of wire heated over a flame-thrower put to a sample of blood. If the blood tries to run away screaming the subject isn't human.. (Hasn't anybody seen The Thing??!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqVbOSEsJ

 

[Hagi]

Ask them:

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

And if they're capable of answering destroy them. Otherwise apologise for any brain damage.

 

[Brandon237]

Do they have to survive the process? If not, a shotgun.

Combined with

With science... what else?

And a gleeful autopsy.

Will make for a Fool-proof check! There is literally no way you could not tell through those two... unless they are lawyers... a line to which I was also beaten... this is sad. I use the ellipses way too often...
Damnit.

But seriously, DNA test and maybe mathematics and basic history tests...