How would you deal with the rise of the apes?

[MagicMouse]

I would shoot them, with my gun.

Srsly, why do anything else? They are MONKEYS their weakness is BULLETS.

Also, I hate all monkeys with a passion. I despise and detest everything about them to the point were I do not even enjoy talking about them in a non violent context.

 

[mitchell271]

Realistic
If it happens in 5 years, I'd get my squad mates together (going to military college in a year) and go on a no-holes-barred killing spree.

Fiction
I'd go all Lucy from Elfen Lied on their asses.

 

[Mr0llivand3r]

I would stand upright

 

[pyrokitsune777]

Do you mean how would, I, if I was in a position to affect the outcome, deal with the monkey uprising. Two words: Daisy Cutter. Then massive bombing campaign. Because you can never be too sure that you've managed to kill all of them.

On a side note, the actual rise occurs after the toxin wipes out all human life on the planet rather than say nuclear armageddon. Personally I'd argue the pathogen isn't as easily transferable as say the one in the movie Contagion. The only person it visibly spread to outside the one who directly inhaled it was the neighbor and that was only after he got blood spewed on him. which leads me to conclude it's transferred via the blood. So I don't really buy that that particular disease wipes us out enough to later be enslaved by the monkeys.

But still Firebombing campaign should take care of them. Then again If the SWAT team hadn't let themselves get caught in the fog they might have managed to take them out with fair ease.

 

[Mr. Gency]

REALISIC: Flee the soon to be nuked city.

FICTIONAL: Send them TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

 

[The Pinray]

Not gonna lie: I'm a bit of a pussy. I'd flee. Find somewhere to hide. And stay there till they all went bye-bye.

 

[DuskServent]

I would be nice to them. Seriously, the whole uprising started because Draco Malfoy was being Draco Malfoy.

Oh god, you sir get a batch of cookies xD
Did anyone else notice that it was Draco Malfoy as well? Took a while till I finally noticed it was him. Only he would start a monkey uprising... Quick, someone make that into a one shot fanfic!

 

[Blue2]

I don't care if i die or not, All I want to see All the PETA members die first. *EVIL SMILE*

 

[emeraldrafael]

oka, now I havent seen the final battle of the movie, or the movie at all. but i know I wouldnt try my prodcut on monkeys. I'd use mice, contained mice. Mice can open doors,s o as soon as they show signs of rebellion, you just get them all in their cage and gas him or burn em or drown em or whatever.

HOWEVER, since this is about apes rising, heavy suppressive fire. roll out the national guard, a few tanks and some very heavy weaponry and just mow the fuckers down. done and done.

 

[Raddra]

You shoot them. Done. Seriously, why does it seem like the film looks like its really over dramatising it when we could easily kill them.

This.

The movie fails hard in believability to the point where it goes so hard into fridge logic it knocks over the fridge.

Movies are very keen to ignore the power of modern weaponry and the skill of our soldiers. Why? Because these kind of things would be no problem.

 

[Abengoshis]

Shoot them. Yes the movie wasn't realistic. I haven't seen it but from the trailer it seems that an entire army with guns etc can't take down a load of gorillas with spears.
Unless you mean a human uprising, since we're apes, in which case look in the news recently.

Wait till you see it before you judge it then, because under the circumstances it makes sense. It's a small regiment the city mustered last minute to defend a bridge, so it's far below an entire army.

If you haven't seen it yet, take my personal fucking recommendation that it's great.

OT: There is only one group to call, and they're angry.

Was the expletive really necessary? And still, bullet > fleshy meatbag.

 

[HumpinHop]

snip

Was the expletive really necessary? And still, bullet > fleshy meatbag.

Expletives are always necessary when dealing with the Angry Marines.

The advantage of technology doesn't mean anything if they have more numbers, especially if you don't have good vision to shoot at them. In the film there's a narrow bridge they're defending with an intense fog, so the apes have a tactical advantage against an enemy that's rooted to one spot. I've probably spoiled enough as it is but they hardly get a chance to actually fire the weapons when they're attacked.

Bullets > Fleshy Meatbags in even numbers, but not when its 10:1 and your enemy can take who knows how many bullets before they go down. Try shooting down a charging bear, odds are it isn't going down easy.

 

[Toaster Hunter]

Firearms, because there is nothing that guns can't solve.

 

[Alexlion]

Erm how would i defeat a bunch of apes who are unable to properly manipulate tools and as such are armed with rudimentary weapons: Chemical weapons good luck doing up the zip on your haz mat suits without opposable thumbs .

 

[MrRetroSpectacles]

I'd engage in debate about how many Humans are deserving of getting their arses kicked by primate overlords. But then I'd point out that over aggressive evil chimp with the horrible eye from the movie and say "So how exactly are you any better now?"

If that worked I'd befriend them and work on a cure for (SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT)the virus that we have unwittingly unleashed, thus we survive and make friends. I reckon it's the virus that destroys Humanities dominance, not ape armies, that'll be the twist. The apes just sort of, take over, and struggle to find a peaceful resolution to the sudden problem of pockets of confused, angry and scared Human beings that can't be allowed to roam around in the apes World, just as Caesar wasn't allowed in the Human society.

If it didn't work I'd call several debates, establish trust, locate all of the few apes with the modified gene, then on one last debate, kill their leaders and have the stragglers dealt with. Guns do still work you know.

 

[Arina Love]

nuke 'em

 

[PureIrony]

Carpet bombing. I don't know why no one in movies ever uses carpet bombings.

 

[Blueruler182]

Pretty sure apes can swim. So you're just condemning new york to death (or wherever they are).

Why not give them land grants? Make them politicians, get them work, all that fun stuffs? Sure there'll be a little racism at the start, and when monkeys start seducing our women we'll have a whole new issue, but if they're functioning members of society they might not want to kill us. Or at least we'll have a few on our side to take them out.

Fictional way. Pick up Thor's mighty hammer and smight the shit out of them. Lightning shall rend the skies, winds shall throw beast miles and miles away, and the ape army shall be used as the most epic whack-a-mole game of all time!

 

[SaetonChapelle]

Im in an area with few firearms and old hicks. Id probably hide out in our random bomb shelter and most probably die of starvation or one would take pity on me and keep me as a pet... Sigh