How would you like your funeral?

[siege_1302]

Seeing as we at The Escapist seem to be a morbid bunch today, in response to the 'How would you like to die?' thread we have the funeral thread! The objective is to post your creative funeral ideas, bonus points if they're amusing and/or involve burning longships. Supreme points go to those who actually put the ideas into their wills.

 

[Jedamethis]

My ashes shoved up the arses of my enemies

 

[rokkolpo]

i would like to be parachuted into my grave, that then will be set on fire.
all my guests will have wear white or pink(not gay),that,ll set the mood.

and i don,t wanna see sad faces. celebrate my life,don,t moarn my death

 

[El Poncho]

I want my ashes to be put into a cake/donut(preferably donut) then inside the cake something special to me will be inside, the donut will be in storage and inside that storage a loop of specified songs will be playing, Everybody loves donuts will play after every 2nd song to set the mood

 

[Jedamethis]

snip

Do you have apostrophes on your keyboard?
they're these things> '

It just annoys me when people use commas instead

 

[Kpt._Rob]

A funeral? I don't really want one. If my family wants to get together, that's cool, but I don't want money wasted on some ceremony or other to commemorate me. I'd be a little bit too dead to appreciate it anyways.

 

[rokkolpo]

snip

Do you have apostrophes on your keyboard?
they're these things> '

It just annoys me when people use commas instead

yeah i,m sorry, cant say i,ll stop though.
you understand me that should be okay right?

let,s not fret over the little things.

 

[Duskwaith]

A vikings death perhaps instead of an anti-climatic lowering into a grave

 

[dmase]

Quick and painless let my friends get there and then go the hell home and drink their memories of me away. Thats how a man grieves!

 

[Sassafrass]

I want my coffin to be fired out of a cannon at a building which then proceeds to explode, all the while as people powerslide cars around said exploding building with some J-Pop music blaring in the background.

Awesome, huh?

 

[QuirkyTambourine]

New Orleans style, with a parade, a jazz band, and general celebration.

 

[jonnosferatu]

Small, private, and attended by at least one Nobel Laureate.

 

[Desert Tiger]

Three thousand years from now.

 

[Gabanuka]

I want them to play "shiny happy people" by REM for a start and on my grave stone it needs to say "See you all soon". I want to be stuffed and placed in the audiance while a man dressed like a ice cream says how great i was. In the end i will be fired into the sky out of a cannon shaped like a pig.

 

[Zorg Machine]

two words, open bar.

 

[dududf]

Ahhh The smell of a good thread *sniiiiff*

Well I want my body to be launched into geosynchronous orbit, via a really big cannon. Then I want a tactical missle to be launched and to hit me and knock me out of orbit, I then want a Jet with a coffin on the top to try to intercept my flying corpse, and to catch my remains before they burn up in the atmosphere. Then I want that jet to crash into a Christmas Parade or a really big clown. Shoes n' All. Then I want you to force a kindergarten class to clean up my body with tooth brushes.

No seriously, quick and sweet.

 

[Nick Bounty]

My ashes shoved up the arses of my enemies

God I can't stop laughing for that line.

Personally, I want to be shot into space and my coffin set for a geosynchronous orbit abound the Earth. How creepy and awesome is that!.

 

[iJosh]

I want the song, Dawn of victory - Rhapsody of Fire & Another one bites the dust to be played at my funeral. Then open bar for my family.

 

[Frankydee]

meh, skip the funeral, just toss me in a dumpster.