How would you tell your kids 'bout them birds & bees?

[Canid117]

Talk frankly about it when they're eight, so they grow into the idea naturally.

So your going to say something along the line of "A man shoves his dick in a woman's giner and there is a decent chance a baby will pop out nine months later"?

In addition to that, they might as well add "Also, sometimes. You use a Trojan and still get a baby brother nine months later. Life's like that."

Never trust anything named after a horrible defensive failure.

 

[RatRace123]

"Here's a Porno and some tissues. Don't open the door until you figure it out."

 

[NJ]

Talk frankly about it when they're eight, so they grow into the idea naturally.

So your going to say something along the line of "A man shoves his dick in a woman's giner and there is a decent chance a baby will pop out nine months later"?

In addition to that, they might as well add "Also, sometimes. You use a Trojan and still get a baby brother nine months later. Life's like that."

Never trust anything named after a horrible defensive failure.

Amen to that, sir.

 

[Cryofthewolf]

I definitely plan on telling them right out when they ask. There's not use pussy-footing around the issue.

 

[UBERfionn]

4chan. nuff said.

My God, that poor poor kid, never had a chance...never had a chance.

 

[Skorpyo]

Wait until they decide they are ready, and be honest with them. Include diagrams.

 

[cheese_wizington]

First ask if they were gay because that would make this so much easier. If not, say it's when people fuck. Here's some porn this is exactly what sex is like.*

*Satire.

 

[Silent observer]

They can learn the same way I did:

Dad: (having been told by my mother to have the talk with me) Umm...Google it!

 

[Caligulove]

Well I dont think its good to put it off for years and years. Good for them to know about it, and responsibly when they're younger, since they will learn about it eventually, and it should come through you as a parent, first- I think.

As for the actual talk- best not to bullshit with them. You need to be honest with your kids in a lot of matters if you want to keep their trust, even if you think that you'd be protecting them, or something, by not telling them about matters of life.

 

[littlebunnyfifi]

The only talk my mom gave me was along the lines of "You're my little baby and you ain't having sex until you are out of my house."

 

[AbsoluteVirtue18]

I'd talk to them about it when they're about 12, and basically fill them in on what they want to know.

It will at least be better than the one my mom gave me, which devolved into "If you have a child before you're ready it will ruin your life." I was like 7.

 

[TerribleAssassin]

Hmm, maybe start off with a vague explanation, along with one of those books along the lines of "Where Babies Come From." Then, once they start sex-ed, supplement that with a more detailed description than your initial one.

If their school doesn't offer sex-ed, all the more reason to get into detail.

VISUAL DEMOSTRATION!

OT: Let them found out themselves, like I did.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Is this assuming school hasn't taught them anything?
I wouldn't want to embarrass them, but tell them if they needed to ask me anything, they can go right ahead.

 

[Fraught]

This picture should do.

Spoiler: NSFW unless your boss has a good sense of humour

Paheal has saved me again!

Oh, Paheal! Wait, on the Escapist, which is PG-13? I wonder what it could b--HOLY SHIT!

Seriously, that is disturbing. I think you've put me off any sexual thoughts for a decade.

 

[PhantomCritic]

I've never heard the actual talk, but it sounds pretty cringe worthy. I wouldn't want to put my kids through that unless they really wanted to know.