How young is to young to date someone?

[InfiniteSingularity]

I believe in free choice, and one's teen years is, for some, a time for experimentation with such things as sex and romance, and I respect that for anyone. It may not serve a place in society, but it does serve a place in many young people's personal lives when it comes to establishing experience in relationships, romance, & sex, as well as enjoying oneself.

I believe that pre-adult romance has a place in society - an entirely negative one. I don't think that experimentation is a sensible thing to be doing with an act that can lead to pregnancy. The reported 98% efficacy of condoms is not enough for me. A vasectomy isn't final enough for me. Hell, even hanging my testicles over a gamma-ray emitter is not certain enough a guarantee of sterility for me. The only option for me is abstinence - and that's caused a significant proportion of psychological problems for me, particularly with the bragging culture that has evolved around romance and sex.

It is not the responsibility of anyone to interfere with someone else's personal relationships, it is the responsibility of those engaged in the relationship, and the affairs of the relationship are not the business of anyone else, regardless of the situation.

When that act results in what I would see as a harm to society - teenage pregnancy - I'd suggest that other people's personal relationships are the business of the state. In fact, many adults are insufficiently mentally stable to raise a child properly - and yet, we allow violent alcoholics and drug-addled morons to engage in the sexual act.

Free choice, mate. You can choose to do - or not do - what you wish, and I will respect and honour your choice*. The state cannot interfere with free choice of individuals, but this does not mean that the state cannot take action on consequences of bad choices.

You can choose to not have sex, and I will respect your decision. But I would advise you not to expect many people to follow you

Basically my views lie in the general direction of individual values > state values

*provided it doesn't hurt anyone else, or interfere with the rights and safety of others.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

Has no one said the forumula yet?

I'm sure someone has:

the equation you use to see if you can date someone is x/2+7, where x is your age.

So you're 19? 19/2=8, 8+7= 15. So no, No soup for you.

Also, this means that Dating can start at 14: 14/2+7 is 14. I'm ok with this. 13 and under? don't date. Honestly? No.

Let's take an older example, for fun: 50/2+7=32. Seems fine to me.

This leads to what I see as the malefic perversion of dating before being invested with your legal rights as an adult, and therefore, I reject this notion.

I think you need to understand that dating at a young age does not necessarily lead to sex, which in turn means it does not necessarily lead to teenage pregnancy. From many of your other posts I would say you are incredibly paranoid when it comes to avoiding pregnancy. It is very unlikely for people who are smart enough to take precautions to ensure they do not get pregnant - so unlikely that the frequency in which it does fail is not in any way detrimental to society, nor a major contributor to population growth, in the way you say it is. The major contributors to population growth are both a) large families, with 4 or more children, and b) divorce and remarriage. The latter results in a desire to have more children with a second, or third partner, and thus it results in extra children being born, and in the next generation there is a higher population.

Teenage pregnancy is not a large enough factor to justify what you are saying. It does WAY more harm to young women's lives, education, and career aspirations than it does to society. So the individual wins again

 

[rockyoumonkeys]

As soon as it's illegal, she's too young.

 

[AMMO Kid]

Let me tell you a story: Once an eighteen year old dated my fourteen year old sister. He let his male side get the better of him, and next thing you know they are caught in the backseat of a car together. Good thing for him it was up to my VERY merciful Dad, else he would have "child molester" title slapped on his wrist for the rest of his life. You get my drift? (and yes it's a true story)

 

[Realitycrash]

Anything under 18 is too young. In fact, it's getting to the stage where I'd start supporting "over 21" rules on romantic interactions. The OP is disconcertingly close to paedophilia - and by the strict definition of the law, if he were to engage in that relationship, would be a sex offender.

erm...what?

Care to explain your logic?

Funny, it's fully legal for a 30 year old man to have sex with a fifteenyear-old where I live.

Let's keep the law out of this: the law is just arbitrary rules decided by someone else which restricts what choices you can & can't make. It's irrelevant and inconsistent in an ethical discussion such as this one

Haha, O rly?
Explain to me, is it ever possible to put a number on when it is acceptable to have sex then? Age is just how long you have lived, and not how mature or physically developed you are.
If we don't go by any frame of reference, I can end the entire discussion with "Depends on the person, everything is relative", and that would be rather dull, would it not?

Sorry mate, but discussing "ethics" without groundrules tends to lead nowhere.

I know and understand what you are saying, but I disagree strongly. I know it's rather dull to say "Depends on the person, everything is relative", but that is the belief I hold. I hold a strong belief that "it is impossible to put an absolute rule on anything", because there will always be exceptions. Even when it isn't clear there is some way around it, therefore in my view it is inconsistent to apply an absolute rule to something. So no, I don't believe it is ever possible to put a number on when it is acceptable to have sex. It does depend on the individual in question, some people may be ready at 14, others may not be ready until 25, and I don't believe we can impose a strict legal age limit when there is such variation in the age it is actually "acceptable" for various individual. Personally I believe only the individual can decide whether it is acceptable for themselves or not, and it is not the business of anyone else to enforce that. All other related issues regarding sex & young people are common sense, and a simple solution is to provide better sexual education in schools, and for governments and media to be more open about sex and related issues

I also strongly believe in free choice, so it is the personal choice of the individual which has priority over all else regarding a personal matter such as this one.

I agree, it should be up to "common sense" (not going to get into the can of worms which is THAT definition..) and the maturity of two individuals. However, this wouldn't work in our legal-system, as it would be a huuuuge gray-area making it possible for very much leeway for pedophiles. Afterall, we have age-limits on driving and alcohol, simply because even if people FEEL that they are mature enough, they really are not, because they lack perspective on life (and experience).
I, honest to god, know a girl, an old friend of mine, that admitted that she lost her virginity at eight. Eight years old, with a guy that was 23. And you know what? She still defends it. She says it was good, and she wanted it, etc etc. I believe she really believes that. I still thinks he's fucking stupid, though. Really, really stupid. And why? Because at eight, you don't have enough experience or perspective to take that responsibility.

(And, of course, I bet there are an exception or two out in the world somewhere, but these are so rare that claiming "everything has an exception" is equally meaningful as saying "there are absolute facts". When probably comes close to zero, for all intended purposes, it becomes an absolute)

 

[Kinguendo]

Has no one said the forumula yet?

I'm sure someone has:

the equation you use to see if you can date someone is x/2+7, where x is your age.

So you're 19? 19/2=8, 8+7= 15. So no, No soup for you.

Also, this means that Dating can start at 14: 14/2+7 is 14. I'm ok with this. 13 and under? don't date. Honestly? No.

Let's take an older example, for fun: 50/2+7=32. Seems fine to me.

Dude, you got some sucky mathematic skillz... half of 18 is 9 so how could half of 19 be 8?

Its 19/2=9.5+7= 16.5

 

[pubbing]

It depends on where you live. In some places 14 is considered the legal age of consent so you won't get in trouble. In others it is 15,16,17 so know your laws so you don't get in really deep shit.

As far as not legally, 14 yr olds tend to be really immature so I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[Kinguendo]

Dude, you got some sucky mathematic skillz... half of 18 is 9 so how could half of 19 be 8?

Its 19/2=9.5+7= 16.5

because i hit the wrong key and didn't realize it. that's why.

I must be stupid, though. Good point.

Come on, dont lie to me... admit it.

 

[Cazza]

2 Year gap really only applies until middle 20s I feel. It is socially acceptable for the gap to be larger the older you are. Just being friends with that kind of gap would look weird.

 

[LightningBanks]

It may be risky, but It might be worth a shot

In the topic of acceptance, it can get really stupid in some places. My best friends were dating each other, both 15, the boy being 6 months older. On his 16th birthday, he got alot of people demanding that they should break up, and when he refused, he was known as a pervert and was pretty much harrased about it everyday, about how its 'Unbeliveable' and stuff like that

But their still together, despite all the grief hes getting. Guess thats a good sign of a strong couple then

 

[SarcasminBloom]

I put to a two year limit on who I date. Both younger and older. So I would only date girls between 16 and 20.

Also you are over 18 and she is still a minor. It is very illegal to have sex with her or date her for that matter. If you did it would classify you as a pedophile in the eyes of the law.

^This. If you're dating a minor, it's probably not the best idea, especially that young of a minor.

 

[RobCoxxy]

Well technically that's peadophilia. So yeah, bit weird.

 

[iseko]

the minimum age is the one that will get you arrested... Other than that its all good.

 

[x EvilErmine x]

You know what's funny? If you were 29 and she was 24 the this would hardly even be an issue. As it stands though 14 is to young for you if you are 19. Simply put you've nearly finished growing up. She has barley started, the relationship would not work out in the long run as you are both at different stages of your lives.

 

[Jezzascmezza]

If you're both under twenty, then I'd say a three or more year distance would be a little off.

 

[Leg End]

No, that actually does nothing. If sexual relations were had, it would be out of a burning passion.

At that moment, no consequence would stop the two. :/

Pft, passion? More like burning lust.

Except the father or mother suddenly walking in on that scene, only to turn it into a good episode of Jerry Springer.

Ehh, depends. Sometimes the two are related. :/

And, that is if all involved make it that far.

Well technically that's peadophilia. So yeah, bit weird.

Not even close bro. It's Ephebophilia. Even then, not a primary attraction so... yeah. :/

 

[irani_che]

good rule of thumb is
your age/2 +7

19/2 +7 = 16.5 therefore it is a no