Paksenarrion said:
I'm not sure what came over me; it may be some sort of SAD combined with Tourette's Syndrome.
I understand if you don't want to link to it. Nobody wants to say 'Look, this is the thread I'm ashamed of. Everybody crowd in closer so you can see it! Has everybody seen it? Good. Here is some of my love poetry that I wrote for the first person I fancied, and some baby pictures where I wasn't quite potty trained yet.'
But still, I'm morbidly curious about the thread that prompted this one.
Good of you to admit you're at fault. Most folks have a hard time doing that, especially over the internet where the option to slink away into the anonymous night is all too tempting.
The one thing I'm ashamed of on the internet happened on a totally different forum, many years ago (2004). I had just broken up with a girlfriend and was feeling awful, drinking way more than was healthy, not sleeping and living off cup-a-soups and spite. I was a mess. I was posting (drunk) on a forum I used to frequent, in a debate about humanity. I think it had something to do with us being the last species, I was saying how basically humanity is flawed, really just giving vent to my bitterness for a while.
One guy asked me "So if you think humanity is so crap (I paraphrase in case you couldn't tell) what do you think about starving kids in third world countries, cancer victims, people with terminal diseases, war casualties, all those people that never get a chance?"
I said the worst thing I've ever said to anybody in my life.
"Meh - any death means less stupid people in the world."
Now this is not something I believe at all, I shouldn't have said it. But I was so full of booze and anger that it seemed righteous to me. I was flaming, as they say, and it felt righteous.
When my hangover, and my ban, came the next day I felt lousy. You know that feeling you get when you make an absolute tit out of yourself at a party and you wake up the next day? I had that but times a thousand. I couldn't believe that I'd been so callous, me, a liberal minded chap who protested the war in Iraq (a bit).
But that self loathing made me put myself back together and get over the hump. I had hit an epiphany - I now knew that my own suffering was no reason to mock the suffering of others, especially not the people that had it far worse than me.
I was wiser, cagier and more humbled.
I got back together with the girl that'd dumped me.
I was more humbled - didn't mean I was any smarter.
But yeah, being an internet bastard saved me in a sense. Internetz is srs bzns (I think that's how that meme works)
Thread hi-jacker away!