I Don't Understand: Pain is Love

[Zeema]

I dont understand why people can get aroused and feel good when there in alot of pain?

i watched a foreign film about this Doctor who faked his death so he could leave his wife too look for sexual experiences like BDSM , Crossdressing Sex, Incest, Rape and take Drugs. His brother and wife go in search of him but find out his dirty secrets.

i cant recall the country of origin it may have been Austrian or was it Hungarian?

anyway there was a scene on which there was video of the Doctor getting whipped by a female, he was enjoying it and even admits to it later on in the film even saying it was like 'paradise'.

I looked into but apparently there is this whole sub culture of sex and pleasure but i simply couldn't understand.

Why do people feel good for hurting other's?

shouldn't sex be less painful?

Shouldn't pain be a thing to avoid not embrace as a sexual thrill?

IS it wrong?

i have been searching for 2 hours the title of the film but with no success.

just so you know the movie wasn't porn there was lots of nudity and disturbing thing

[he kisses his brother and tries to rape him but leaves because he needs to kill his Mentor for 'Sexual pleasure'] Good Film though.

my personal thought's are i don't think people should enjoy pain. Pain shouldn't be a pleasure and showing affection by hitting someone just doesn't seem right. Im sorry if i offend but it just doesn't seem right too me.

I understand pain in sex but not the whole Whipping and Spanking part

EDIT: But Why? shouldn't something trigger in your head like 'oh hang on this will be painful i better not do that' or 'I might injure this girl/guy if i do it that'

Im Trezu those are my thoughts of the week.

 

[Flamezdudes]

Its what is called Sadomasochism.

I don't understand it either myself, I hate pain. :/

 

[Woodsey]

"I looked into but apparently there is this whole sub culture of sex and pleasure but i simply couldn't understand."

Well... why did you think people have sex?

But anyway, different things get different people off.

 

[rokkolpo]

Yeah well, people are weird.

VERY weird.

 

[Zio666]

Different people enjoy different things.

Even within the BDSM subculture there are contrasting types of people. Some like the feeling of lack of freedom (hand cuffs) and being lightly disciplined (spanking) while others enjoy the more extreme things you saw in that film.

You mentioned the character had to go kill his mentor for sexual pleasure? Sounds like the character was a bit of a nut-job then. Usually people who dabble in BDSM talk it through with their partner first and make sure they both understand what is wanted and expected. They generally use a 'safe word' in case it gets out of hand.

Rest assured what you watched sounds like it was overly dramatised and not many people carry it out to that extreme.

 

[HapexIndustries]

There's no such thing as wrong; blow your nose and get that notion out of your head, at least when it comes to consenting adults. The most fucked up shit imaginable is fair game is everyone is for it and trying to label things as right and wrong when everyone is free to choose is narrow-minded and silly. It might not be something you're into, or something you even understand, but I don't think anyone has the right to tell another person what they can do sexually on grounds of it being "morally wrong."

I'm not into weird BDSM stuff but I know plenty of people that are. I've dated a couple girls that wanted me to choke them, and one that wanted me to choke her out. Not like a playful "I'll choke you a little," I mean choke a ***** with my forearm against her throat. I only did it once and she orgasmed and passed out. I realized right then that I wasn't into this.

Was she fucked up? Ha, yeah, but not because of that. It was the reasons behind it, the self loathing and low self esteem and desire to be abused. However, the reasons behind everything we do sexually are pretty fucked up, really, and who am I to judge them as wrong? I just broke up with her (and she briefly stalked me) and moved on.

 

[gigastar]

One of the more complicated things about the human mind is when it takes to things the rest would rather avoid.

Beyond sadomasochism theres a whole lot more shit that i try to forget every bloody day.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Everything you feel is in your minds perception the body only supplies signals as to what is going on, so if your mind can link pain to pleasure... you could be doing your masturbation sessions with a hammer (don't try this at home kids).

Anyways people are different, and there are many different things that get people off, nothing wrong with their desires simply because they are not the same as your own.

 

[Shockolate]

It's a fetish.

Some people like getting hurt.

Pain is a pleasure all its own.

 

[TriggerHappyAngel]

"Why do people like things that I don't like?!"

- Don't worry, it happens more often then you think OP

 

[Silva]

Psychologically, I believe that sadomasochism has some links to depression and past traumas. Some people take on pain as a pleasure through a conscious or semi-conscious choice, as a way of moving through or passively dealing with extreme traumas (after all, if you enjoy pain, you can in theory withstand more of it). The effect this has on sex is easily explained by the fact that sex is often as much of an emotional release as a physical one.

If people are emotionally inclined towards enjoying pain to show their strength in resisting it and/or inflicting it on others to express it, then they are also inclined to enjoy these things at a sexual level as well.

A lot of people lead terribly hard lives so it's not surprising that a lot of people end up dealing with trauma in this way and make it popular. And who, beyond the most judgemental and controlling of people, can call these personal preferences "wrong"? It may be unhealthy, and it may cause societal issues regarding passive and not-so-passive aggression and continue to regenerate a culture of pleasure through pain, but as an action at the fundamental level I don't think it is.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Psychologically, I believe that sadomasochism has some links to depression and past traumas. Some people take on pain as a pleasure through a conscious or semi-conscious choice, as a way of moving through or passively dealing with extreme traumas (after all, if you enjoy pain, you can in theory withstand more of it). The effect this has on sex is easily explained by the fact that sex is often as much of an emotional release as a physical one.

I'd tend to agree...but I'd be wary of saying that, cause it will likely lead to endless ranting.

 

[googleback]

I can only get it up if I wear a squirrel outfit and sit on an open sandwich toaster.

It was a long adolescence...

 

[Ironic Pirate]

S&M isn't even the weirdest thing, dude.

For example, my particular fetish is eating people, whole and alive. And right now, with naught but a quick google search, I could go to a site and find hundreds of people who share the same fetish. Most of them, admittedly, are prey, however.

 

[Sebenko]

Well, you've found just the right fag to tell you about it.

And... I dunno, to be honest. I spend all day wearing a collar (with modern fashions, not that out of place) and I call my boyfriend "master". I suppose it just feels right.

God forbid anyone tries to lead me around by my collar. instant crush, right there.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Checks profile age.

Ah, makes sense now.

Even still, who the hell hasn't heard of S&M? It's generally pretty harmless, compared to a lot of other stuff out there. (such as auto-erotic asphyxiation, which can kill you.)

Also, why is it wrong? You're being judgemental. If two consenting adults enjoy something, then there's nothing wrong with it.

 

[Scabadus]

What consenting people do behind closed doors is their - and only their - business.

For the record, though, a lot of people using BDSM techniques don't do it for the pain, they do it for control. One partner preferes the other to be in control or to have control themselves, and pain is a very effecting of displaying that control. Nothing says 'submissive' like being whipped for five minutes straight and screaming that you love it.

 

[Vrud]

Even on a nonsexual note, pain in proper amounts can be pleasurable because it releases endorphins. This is why some people grow addicted to cutting themselves.

The individual's pain tolerance is an important factor in this. I grew up getting scratched and bitten by animals and gouged by barbed wire on a farm, so my pain tolerance level by now is fairly high. Lighter touches don't register - sensations that cause others pain are just enough to induce pleasure in me.