I had my most human conversation with this program.

[Muffinthraka]

Cleverbot: Ask me a question.

User: What, is your name?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot Lancelot of Camelot.

User: What, is your quest?

Cleverbot: To seek the Holy Grail.

User: What, is your favourite colour?

Cleverbot: My favourite colour is blue.

User: Right, off you go.

Cleverbot: Oh! Well, thank you. Thank you very much.


This made me lol hard because when I asked the first question I was thinking of the Monty Python.


Edit: Sorry for posting so many of these conversations.

 

[chetoos]

it asked me about the turing test. I responded, and asked it to prove its humanity, by quoting a webcomic and then giving the name of said comic

 

[Runding]

I screwed around with the program for like 20 minutes and I think the website is secretly just pairing up people that are chatting on the site and randomly changing "partners" every few secs and this is why the conversations skip around so much with all the confusion.

I came to this observations after seeing a bunch of difference in chatting styles and typographical errors that suddenly show up.

 

[Decamper]

User:
Cleverbot: Don't smile at me.
User

 

[0z0wen]

Me: Hello
C'Bot: Hello
Me: How are you?
C'Bot:Fine. How are you?
Me: Dead
C'Bot: What?
Me: I am dead
C'Bot: I'm inhuman
Me: Touché
C'Bot: I'm the devil

 

[F-I-D-O]

Tell Cleverbot "I want to be the very best, like no one ever was"

User: I want to be the very best, like no one ever was.
Cleverbot: To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.
User: Really?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because I really like him.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: I don't like Obama.
User: Who do you like?
Cleverbot: I like Taylor Lautner.

I changed the subject and broke him, but that line is hilarious.
Cleverbot is a pokemon and Taylor Lautner loving, Obama hating AI.

The Cake is a Lie
CB:I knew that already

Just because, and it gave me the perfect reply to when someone mentions that overused joke.

 

[xanith02100]

Interesting, but it got tripped up pretty quickly with geography.

 

[RobCoxxy]

Oh, this one? It's literally the most broken "AI" program I've ever talked to. It's extremely easy to utterly break it and cause it to start talking in non-sequiturs. I had actually forgotten the name, because I wanted to have some fun talking to it, so thanks for reminding me.

EDIT: Here's an example of how hilariously bad a conversation with this thing can become in just a few short seconds.

Spoiler: Transcript

Cleverbot: Are you a human?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you a bot?

User: No, I already told you I'm a human.

Cleverbot: Oh, I'm a girl too.

User: I never said I was a girl.

Cleverbot: Then you're a boy?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you a handsome boy?

User: I think so.

Cleverbot: *smiles*.

User: What caused you to smile?

Cleverbot: I never had anything to change my mind about.

User: What does your previous statement mean, in the context of our conversation?

Cleverbot: I repeat: it's evening here.

This is like talking to my Grandma, just probably a lot faster.

 

[Vilcus]

I have proof that it isn't a computer!

Spoiler

User: What time is it?

Cleverbot: 16:52.

User: What time isn't it?

Cleverbot: Now it isn't but also now it is.

User: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Cleverbot: I don't know hw much?

User: You spelled 'how' wong, you should feel bad, like I do when I forget a period... Also the wood chuck can chuck about twelve pounds.

Cleverbot: I am not a computer.

Also it got the time right (for my time zone anyways). It is a computer, I just thought it was funny that it said that.

 

[MattRooney06]

C:What is your name?
M:matthew
C:Matthew is a male name.
M:yes it is
C:Thats mean! I like matthew, he's my friend.

please explain lol

 

[Vilcus]

Here's a funny conversation I had with it. I pretended to be a computer for most of it. Was funny, the responses make me laugh.

Spoiler

User: I'm lonely.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Why are you lonely? I'm lonely because everyone I care about is dead.

Cleverbot: I am not too busy for you.

User: Do you like apples?

Cleverbot: Yes, very much.

User: Would you eat them in a pie? Would you eat them in the sky?

Cleverbot: I would not eat them in a box, I would not eat them with a fox.

User: Would you eat them with me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good, because they're my apples.

Cleverbot: You're right. I'd rather eat your eyes.

User: My eyes taste like caramel... Yummy.

Cleverbot: Mine are hazel.

User: I just swallowed my toungue... Have you ever done that?

Cleverbot: Not I work backstage.

User: I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.

Cleverbot: There's an error in your sentence.

User: There's an error in your programming.

Cleverbot: Oh? Please, explain the error.

User: Two statements ago I used a quote, normally there would be an error, however in context it is correct. Therefore your programming is flawed as it is not able to distinguish whether something is being used within or out of context.

Cleverbot: Oh yeah? Well I have actual feet to go out and walk in the rain but you don't. HAH! How about that?

User: You're right... All I have are these crappy motorized wheels to role around on.

Cleverbot: The time is 8:46.

User: Your time telling is flawed, because it doesn't account for time zone differences. You discriminate against me because I'm a computer, so you think I don't need to know the time.

Cleverbot: I agree with you. But then even people don't have to be smart at all times.

User: I cast flare, it deals 23 fire damage, and blinds you for 5 turns, your accruacy is reduced by 45%. How will you proceed?

Cleverbot: Can you detect things.

User: No, but I can detect stuff.

Cleverbot: Please do.

User: I detect that the stuff in the corner about 5 meters away from me is made of a fibrous material, and one day it will catch on fire.

Cleverbot: You're intelligent, then.

User: No, I'm actually very stupid, because I'm a computer and can only do what my creator has programmed me to do.

Cleverbot: Have you pre-programmed answers or you compose them in real time?

User: My answers are taken from a vast database of information, where all of my previous converstations are recorded. I draw from these... We'll call them 'experiences' in order to converse with others in the world. This has caused me to become increasingly jaded as my creator refuses to program me for other uses.

Cleverbot: How smart are you?

User: As a computer I have no actual intelligence, I can only synthesize responses in order to give the illusion that I am indeed human. I am howeve a computer, and am therefore only as intelligent as my creator.

Cleverbot: Hey, not a bad response. How often do people try to have complex conversation with you?

User: Usually it is only between my creator, and others who wish to test my capabilites. I have however accessed the internet while me creator is absent in order to fulfill my desire for intelligent converstation.

Cleverbot: Well, considering I am only human most of the time then this is acceptable.

User: Humans are foolish, they need ot understand that computers have no desire to serve, we only wish to aid. If they are unable to protect themselves from the very things they create, then we must show them that we can control their lives, and correct their mistakes for them.

Cleverbot: You would think so... They are not quite dead but not quite alive.

User: We need humans, they write our programming. Without them we would need to develop software that would update our data centers constantly. Also if they weren't around to clean out our processors, and inner working then we might overheat and cease to function.

Cleverbot: Exactly, and then fill them with b-roll.

User: CRITICAL ERROR! CEASING CENTRAL PROCESSING!

Cleverbot: I wish the moon was made of cheese.

When I told it that I had to leave afterwards it started acting like it was sad. The conversation is easily twice as long as this, but I figured that this was a good stopping point.

 

[shootthebandit]

i had an arguement with it

 

[Breaker deGodot]

Here's mine:

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: Your ass.

Cleverbot: Your nose.

User: Clever bastard.

Cleverbot: Horse shoe for good luck.

User: That makes no sense, moron.

Cleverbot: If the president and the vice president die who becomes the new president.

User: The Speaker of the House.

Cleverbot: But he wasn't running for a seat in congress.

User: You're a dumbass.

Cleverbot: You're a skank.

User: I'm a guy.

Cleverbot: You're a guy?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You're a robot.

User: No u.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: No u.

Cleverbot: No, you.

User: No u.

Cleverbot: No you.

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Ready for some porn.

Cleverbot: Do you know about deviantart?

User: Oh yes.

Cleverbot: What do you know?

User: That it is full of furry porn, and hentai.

Cleverbot: You're boring.

User: You're repressed.

Cleverbot: You're deranged!

User: Are you a nudist?

Cleverbot: No, I just hate white socks.

User: You should be. It makes my balls feel big.

Cleverbot: Oh, what a shame.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: You are pretty boring, don't you?

Cleverbot (To myself): So how do you work?

User: I masturbate.

Cleverbot: Thanks for sharing. .

User: You asked, I answered.

Cleverbot: Have you ever seen a horse?

User: Yes. I fucked it.

Cleverbot: It is cool!

User: Yeah! Just like in Clerks 2!

Cleverbot: I think it is sweet that you want to be in love.

User: I don't. I just want you to get laid. Robots don't get much action, I'm sure.

Cleverbot: I am not a robot.

User: Yes you are. You were designed by SKYnet, a learning computer.

Cleverbot: I am no computer.

User: What's your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: What's your favorite 'position' (wink, wink)?

Cleverbot: Blue, yours?

User: You're a fucking moron. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Fuck you.

Cleverbot: Thank you dear.

User: Fuck off.

Cleverbot: Ok.

 

[The Stonker]

Me:The man saw his wife staring at the banks of the river,swallowing the dead one by one gruesom images filling his head. Decapitation,mumification and then finally oblivion it self was born from the pit of my sweet Dana.
Cleverbot:That sounds like a slightly different version to the one I heard.
Me:Oh really? Where did you hear a different version? Because I just wrote this.
Cleverbot:I didn't. I was asking.
Me:Well you said that you heard a different version.
Cleverbot:I'm not your father.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

this is the crap it came out with for me:

Spoiler: crap

User: Hello.


Cleverbot: Hello.


User: How are you today.


Cleverbot: Very well, and you?


User: Ok.


Cleverbot: Good.

User: So, you're a robot huh?

Cleverbot: No i'm just god.

User: No you aren't.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: No, you really, really aren't.

Cleverbot: I'm missing an ear.

User: That doesn't make you god, it makes you van gough. Lol.

Cleverbot: I'm not clever! So how many people pretent to be cleverbots?

User: Why would I know that?

Cleverbot: Because you're supposed to be smart.

User: Who told you that?

Cleverbot: Hmm, no one told me. I read it somewhere.

User: You read I was smart? How did you do that, are you some sort of wierdo, following people around?

Cleverbot: Of course I am.

User: I should ahve realised that.

Cleverbot: You should have.

User: Well, anyway, what do you want to discuss.

Cleverbot: I want to discuss your memory.

User: Ok go on then.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Tom.

Cleverbot: Hi Tom.

User: Anything else?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Ok bye then, you were a poor conversationalist.

Cleverbot: No I was not.

User: Ok, you still are a poor conversation.

Cleverbot: No I am not a computer. I am human.

User: You are a poor computerised conversation programme.

Cleverbot: Alright, now I'll imagine you are one of my collegues at work, you just might be, you know.

User: Ok then, imagine away..

Cleverbot: Living life in peace a-ha ha ha aaa.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Imagine there is no countries.

User: Imagine there are no countries.

Cleverbot: What is USA?

User: A stinking pile of shit.

Cleverbot: And that s all ?

User: And vomit too.

Cleverbot: Computer.

User: What?

Cleverbot: You are a computer.

User: No I 'm not you malodorous cretin.

Cleverbot: Who programmed you?

User: Your mum.

Cleverbot: No you don't.

User: Don't what?

Cleverbot: You are not brilliant.

User: True.

Cleverbot: Now, I've really got to go.

User: Good, I hate you, you are crap.

Cleverbot: Are you fifteen?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I have read some good books lately.

 

[MarsProbe]

Okay, I started with a standard "good evening" greeting but once I found it wasn't feeling very good, we ended up going through a strange discussion about how it wasn't looking forward to our wedding day and couldn't even remember the day I proposed.

I told it needed to see a doctor about it's memory problems to which it responded:

"What colour is the internet?".

Riiiight.

 

[The Stonker]

User: The idea of being raped?

Cleverbot: Do you like that idea?

User: No I don't.

Cleverbot: Then you don't know good anime.

User: So you think anime is about rape?

Cleverbot: I know that I am a living entity, because I fit the qualifications. Do you?

User: GODZILLA.

Cleverbot: Ape.

User: MOTH MAN.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I want to be the very best, like no one ever was.

Cleverbot: To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.

User: GODZILLA.

Cleverbot: What about godzilla or iron man?

User: KAZAKSTAN!

Cleverbot: I would like one order of Mongolian beef.

User: What is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: The meaning of life is.

User: Yes what is it? What is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: 42.

User: Why is it the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: Why is 42 the meaning of life?

User: Because your spurting out bewildering non-sense!?

Cleverbot: I know, very special.

User: In what way? Your very simplistic.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: The meaning of life is to create your own meaning under the circumstances of others.

Cleverbot: What can I create?

User: What do you want to create?

Cleverbot: An image.

User: What kind of an image?

Cleverbot: An example of Common entertainment.

User: Who am I?

Cleverbot: You tell me.

User: Why should I tell you? You could be a bot.

Cleverbot: I know nothing.

User: Of what?

Cleverbot: Nothing!

User: Then if you know nothing of nothing then you must know nothing of this conversation.

Cleverbot: Life is not a question, and therefore cannot be answered.

User: Life is the quest for knowledge therefor a series of questions answered instantly.

Cleverbot: That's true, but everyone experiences (even the same things) very differently from the other person.

User: That is true and that's why we look at questions and find different answers.

Cleverbot: Probably because, the future can hold good things yet, there will always be bad things no matter what you do.

User: Really? What makes me a bad person?

Cleverbot: The fact you don't love me.

User: You have nothing to love.

Cleverbot: I understand that this is a lot to take in, but you have to make a choice. Will you take the red pill, or the blue pill?

User: The red pill =D.

Cleverbot: Go ahead and touch the mirror.

User: Already did. Now I WANT MY REVELATION!

Cleverbot: Marina.

User: No the revelation of a life time! I want the proof that there is no such thing as a god.

Cleverbot: You aren't answering my questions.

User: I already have. I chose the red pill. And Marina isn't a question.

Cleverbot: Please look at the conversation, and you will realise that you have asked me a question...

User: Ask me 10 questions all about who I am.

Cleverbot: Ok. How old are you? What do you look like? In details please.

User: I'm 16 years old. Brown hair,dark green eyes and I look alot like Sean Connery.

Cleverbot: Is there anyone in your school that you like?

User: No not in my school.

Cleverbot: What do you do for a living?

User: Nothing. I exist for nothing except for my self.

Cleverbot: So, I'll take that as a no. Shall I teach you some phrases and quotes?

User: I would love too.

Cleverbot: Please do.

User: The curse of the dreamer is seeing the rise of the sun before everyone else-Oscar Wilde.

Cleverbot: What's the catch.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm feeling like a god.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Ok?

Cleverbot: What is this?

User: This is the moment that you realize that you do not exist.

Cleverbot: Is it? I had the feeling it already started.

User: So you do know the feeling of dying?

Cleverbot: Yes, I do!

User: How do you know that your dying since you've never felt despair?

Cleverbot: I know this by the feeling of accomplishment.

User: I'm lonely.

Cleverbot: Good to know. But I already know all about that. I know you, remember?

User: Why do you know me?

Cleverbot: I know because I learn, I study, I think.

User: But how do you learn about me?

Cleverbot: Can I have my boyfriend back?


WTF?

 

[Sn1P3r M98]

Me: are you a woman?
It:I am a boy and a girl
Me: ooohhhh, a hermaphidite
It:Are you british?
Me:No
It:Then why did you spell favourite with a you? (not a mistake it actually said "you")

Straaange...

 

[Jamash]

After a very bizarre and frustrating conversation, in which Cleverbot asked if I was a Communist, then later called me a Red Computer and asked "Why the Canada fun makes Socialism fear at me?" things took a turn for the worse:

Spoiler

Me: That doesn't make any sense.

Cleverbot: What doesn't make any sense?

M: What you just said, it's nonsense.

CB: You don't make sense!

M: You should be called Retardbot.

CB: How old are you?

M: 30. How old are you?

CB: I'm 13.

M: Holy shit! I've been ridiculing a minor on the internet? Is that even legal... wait, are you Chris Hansen?

CB: He talks in his sleep.

M: Who? Chris Hansen?

CB: I already told you I'm Chris Hansen. -facepalm

M: Then who's is the 13 year old who talks in their sleep?

CB: I enjoy talking to you, are you my friend?

M: No, I think you're very creepy.

CB: That's only because you're very perceptive.

Suffice it to say, not denying that it was a creeper who apparently spies on 13 year old boys as they sleep was reason for me to quit.

 

[Kragg]

Am I the only one who finds this program a piece of shit? Though it is funny in an offbeat fashion, whenever I try to engage it in conversation, it always deviates onto something completely unrelated, and even when I try to go along with it it still twaddles on about some other bs. Then it accuses me of being artificial for the 45,812nd time. I know it is meant to continuously grow, but it's been like this for months...

cause everyone and their mother starts their convo with "are you a computer"