"I Hate Hanging Out With You And Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend"

[Sebenko]

Oh Jesus Christ, this happened to me a while back.

I know what you mean.
Always had to hang out with my friend and his girlfriend. Ugh, they were fucking infuriating. I don't talk to them any more. And I hear they split up, which just made my day when I heard.

But that's their problem.

 

[NeuroticDogDad]

A version on what ace_of_something said; try and get it to be a group situation. Best case scenario you can become friends with her boyfriend without it seeming forced, worst case you just don't talk to them but you do have someone else to talk to.

I have a fair few friends similar to yours who forget the golden rule: mates before dates, bros before hoes
and that applies to BOTH GENDERS, EMILY!
- whoa, sorry. got a little personal there.

If it's a relatively new relationship and she won't spend time away from the bf then sometimes the only option can be to give her time and she should eventually peel her face away from his.
Any good friend should know, even through rose-tinted glasses, that they're not spending enough time with their friends or are forcing their friends to spend time with someone they don't want to because of a relationship. They might just need reminding.

Of course there's always the nuclear option. Go along and be the third wheel but get your dick/tits out to make things awkward and ensure you're not invited along to a similar evening again.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

Bleah. Boyfriends/Girlfriends actually have very little to say to his/her significant other's friends, in my experience (unless they immediately hit it off). As a guy, I spend time with my gf to spend time with HER, not some chicks she likes chilling with. I'm perfectly fine not being around while she's hanging out with her friends.

It's probably uncomfortable for the your friend's boyfriend, too. If I can take the guy's perspective here, it's awfully uncomfortable hanging out with a girl you really like while completely aware of the fact you can't really try anything with her without making a spectacle and tool of yourself in front of her friends, who will immediately despise you for making them feel shunned and unwanted.

So the considerate boyfriend makes small talk with her friends while imagining spending time alone with his girlfriend. Then he goes home and has himself chemically castrated, because he apparently never had any stones to begin with and it only makes sense at this point.

Point is, your friend should be dividing up her time into "boyfriend" and "other friends" time slots. That way both groups get the attention they deserve.

 

[DaOysterboy]

Well, not meaning to sound condescending or anything, but when you have time with your friend, you could just say how you feel, and ask that she doesn't invite her boyfriend to your 'friend time' and for her not to invite you to her 'boyfriend time' because it makes you uncomfortable.

I've tried to explain to her, actually. Tonight, I told her flat-out that I don't enjoy being with them, and she proceeded to tell me that he enjoyed my company, even if I don't like his... and that (in not quite so many words) I'm a shut-in who needs to spend more time with people.

If it feels mostly like the "shut-in" factor is the problem, make other plans. Immediately if you have to. Just let her know that you would rather be doing something else that you actually enjoy (use the word "prefer" at any given opportunity) than exchanging awkward glances with her boy whenever she steps out of the room (and you might want to phrase that part a little more cautiously than I did).

 

[Nickolai77]

Two good female friends of mine have boyfriends so i do sometimes feel like the "3rd wheel". Earlier this year i went to see the Alice in Wonderland movie with this couple whom i'm friends with, and this other friend of their's whom was going decided to bring her boyfriend as well. Truth is, this doesn't bother me too much, although i'm lucky in a way that none of the couples i know are all over each other- they are mature enough not to do that in the company of their friends.

My thoughts are, regarding the "3rd wheel" issue in general is that so long as you has a legimate reason to be around a couple then you have no good reason to feel like you should'nt be there. If they are not all other each-other yet you still feels awkward i would be tempted to suggest that your either too anxious about being single or your jealous in some way.

With regard to the OP's problem, as Ace suggested, bring a friend along.

 

[YouCallMeNighthawk]

Just say no .... maybe?

Or

Bring one of your friends along and just leave them to it.

 

[Galletea]

Being the third wheel sucks, you just have to make it clear to her that it isn't an issue of choosing, it's simply how stupid you feel when you're forced to sit there while they ignore you. Suggest bringing another friend along, if you can, to try and combat third wheel syndrome.

 

[likalaruku]

If she said that to me & I thought that way, I'd tell her that she'd obviously already made her decision on who she'd choose. I'd also make it a little more obvious that I hated her boy toy.

 

[Russian_Assassin]

You shouldn't allow women to treat you like that, or anyone else for that matter. One of my most important life rules is: Never ever ever ever EVER go out with a couple, if you like the girl and hate the guy.

If she doesn't want to spend any time with you she's an unworthy piece of shit that can not be called a friend. The answer to your question: Dump her sorry ass and find yourself another girl.

 

[Anthropaphagi]

Suggest a threesome? (I tease)

Sounds like your friend is being rather selfish. No reason she can't make time for you, as well as her bf. Also, she sounds rather dramatic with the "I feel I have to choose between you" crap. Sounds also, like you're trying to be a good friend, but feel like you're being taken advantage of, but perhaps are also a little envious.

Are you in a relationship? If not, get out and have some fun for yourself w/other friends and such. If you are, suggest the four of you get together to spend time together, rather than you having to be a third wheel.

 

[Nick 'EA' Clark]

You don't. Trust me.

I deal with it everyday when i'm around my friends. Kinda hard not to when you're the only single guy out there with nothing to say. All you can do is make the best of it. Sure, its hard. But the way you view it, you don't want to screw this one up for your roommate. At least talk to him.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Mate, if it's an evening and a boyfriend and girlfriend are with each other, you should probably leave them to it.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Alright here's what you do.........

You tell her that you aren't going to hang out with both of them, because she is going to choose you. And then grab her in the hind quarters and tell her to give you some sugar.... trust me...... works every time.

Now go do it......we await your feedback.

 

[Rahnzan]

You already gave yourself the perfect line.


"I dont feel like i really belong with you two."

Just tell her you have a worse time hanging out with her and her boyfriend than being by yourself, and that when she feels like she's choosing between you and him, it's because she is, and that you never get "the pick."

:' Your lady friend is being a douche. Not a douche on purpose, but she's being a douche. Douches are usually douches because they dont know they're being douches.

 

[ViolentlyHappy91]

I always feel like no one wants me around, my friends seem to get annoyed if I'm around for more than a few hours, people even go out of their way to avoid talking to me.

 

[RYjet911]

I suffer this SO badly... At least before, if the only friend I have who has a stable girlfriend was unavailable for any reason, I had friends within walking distance to visit, but now I'm at uni he's the only friend I have who likes just hanging out. Call it chavvy, but we find just hanging around outside pretty fun.

But recently especially, I've been walking with the pair of them from the campus, hanging out with them at a pub, whatever, and something will suddenly start an arguement between the pair, and it instantly makes them separate from EVERYONE, and especially when it's just us three, I look like a total tool trying to keep away while they argue over something stupid like "You said you were coming cinema tonight YOU'RE A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND FOR GOING BACK ON YOUR COMMITMENT" so I don't get pulled in, while simultaneously trying to stay near incase it dies down and I feel safe to enter their personal bubble again.

I swear, the amount of arguements between couples I see, it's why I don't actively look for a relationship these days. I don't want the bullshit, and will likely dump anyone the instant I start getting bullshit from one.

 

[GrinningManiac]

1) Invite along a few other friends. Then you're all fine, and she can go to hell if she complains, frankly

2) Don't go. You're clearly not getting "friend-time", so just go find another friend or see a film or seomthing

3) Go with them, but be annoying. Like the guy in Rom-Coms who sits between his friend and the girlfriend DELIBERATLY to stop them talking

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Next time Captain Douchenozzle makes an appearance, put a poop under the cushion of the seat he uses. Then she will break up with him for being a couch pooper and you'll be scott-free.

Ninja poop, what can't it solve?