I have an addict under my roof !

[Miumaru]

Being oppressive does not help. If you want him to not do something, have something else for him to do. I dont mean chores either, but fun things. I spend most of my time gaming. Id spend less time gaming though if I could hang out with friends more, for example.

I do NOT believe I am be oppressive! I am providing as much for him to do as possible! I have been encouraging him to spend time with friends and do the other things he love to do!
He has fun when we are out doing things and goes right back to harassing me to let him play the minute we get home.
I don't mind him playing; not at all. I just want him to keep it in balance and show me some better behavior first!

Whether YOU think you are being oppressive does not matter. If HE thinks you are though, does. I am merely stating from the point of view as the child, as my mother took away games and such when I was being "bad" or something. Lets just say I hate her, alot. Beyond for just that ofcourse, but either way, I hate my mother but wish I did not.
How into video games are you? You ARE on this site, and since it is gaming focused, it leads me to believe you are a gamer to some degree. If so, why not try to find games you can play with him? He plays games AND forges a stronger bond with you, and the more he loves you, the more he will like making you happy.

 

[neonnightlite]

Of course it's very common... and sometimes violent...
I was addicted to WoW for a while but it just sort of fell off of me when I picked up the guitar. so it's best to get him another hobby...

I'd imagine that is what a dragon sounds like when is dying.
That kid was freaking out!

 

[Sacman]

Of course it's very common... and sometimes violent...
I was addicted to WoW for a while but it just sort of fell off of me when I picked up the guitar. so it's best to get him another hobby...

I'd imagine that is what a dragon sounds like when is dying.
That kid was freaking out!

no that's what a WoW subscriber sounds like when it's dieing from lack of WoW...

 

[Isolda Sage]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

If his schoolwork hasn't been impacted it shouldn't matter.

His life has been impacted! His temperament and personality have been impacted! He has become impossible to live with! If I let him sneak up to play video games all night of course his school work will be impacted!

 

[Tdc2182]

Not gaming related, but this one has a special place in my heart:

That is terrible.

But soooo funny.

 

[Charisma]

in this case i have to take the conservative side - about the only thing you can do is be oppressive, but you must make sure he has a place to go when deprived of WoW.

what i mean is, if he doesn't have (for example) a friend's house to go over and sulk and do something else, then it's like squeezing one half of a balloon while the other half has nowhere to expand to. something's got to give.

so subtly make sure he has other options for spending his time, then pull the plug and feel no remorse.

it'll definitely help if you don't actually suggest other things to do, because obviously he's going to hate your guts for a while and your very suggestions will taint those other options, thereby further oppressing him whether that's what you intend or not.

and don't think of it as oppression. think of it as steering him away from unhealthy things. in ten years if he has nothing but his WoW life to talk about, he will be a very sad person indeed.

like my little brother is going to be, LOL

 

[Tdc2182]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

If his schoolwork hasn't been impacted it shouldn't matter.

His life has been impacted! His temperament and personality have been impacted! He has become impossible to live with! If I let him sneak up to play video games all night of course his school work will be impacted!

Definitely take it away from him for a while if his attitude has changed. There is a point where to much gaming is to much. Start off strict and each week gradually get more lenient, like take away a power cable to the computer for the nights, and eventually let him have it back. Or set time limits.

 

[2fish]

Introduce him to books?

Firm but gentle at first, set the rules.
If rules are broken stick, if rules are obeyed random carrot.
Rules should include goals for skool and other outside activities.
You must remain in control, if your actions imply you don't have control he will know.
Anger/rage just shows you are losing control. No empty threats, none, zero.
This is a game of power, call in backup as needed.
Leave no wiggle room in your rules.

You don't want you child to be like me now do you?

Try after school programs, ones that make him move see marial arts.

 

[starwarsgeek]

So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

It maybe a somewhat extreme case, but--yes. I remember being twelve...and the sense of self-entitlement that comes with it. The best solution might be getting him to change his perspective on the situation. Try to alter his perspective of the situation. Tell him he's free to play--under certain conditions, such as maintaining good grades and behavior in school--once he's done his daily homework and chores. Make him think of WoW as a reward instead of lack-of-WoW as a punishment.

Note: Advice came from a single 19-year-old college student with no experience in parenting. I'm basing this purely on what would have worked on me when I was his age.


PS. If the sneaky-late-hour gaming continues, password the computer(s).

 

[Isolda Sage]

So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

That does sound bad- and from as far as I can tell, it is a fairly common experience. I myself got a bit addicted to an online game like that last summer, and had to kick myself off when school came back around so I wasn't staying up until 5 AM anymore.

You should try to encourage him into new hobbies; figure out what he likes and try to find a local outlet, something like karate or archery. Eventually, after having been cut off from the game for long enough, he should move on to other things.

I will say, though, that it is really hard for him and I understand how he feels. While cutting him off is a good decision, try to be very sensitive and sympathetic to his emotions right now. Even if he does turn into some kind of raging tycoon.

Although if he's a really horrible raging tycoon, you might want help then...

Thanks, I know it is hard for him, he feels very close to these online friends.

 

[Sacman]

Not gaming related, but this one has a special place in my heart:

man that was pretty epic and I like how she starts crying at the end... Hilarious...
[img height= 200]http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/awesome_face_bigger_1886.png[/img]

 

[Eggsnham]

-Le Snippity-

Yup, this is normal.

He's not addicted, he just really likes playing the game. Though I don't know why, WoW is pretty boring and repetitive.

If he were addicted, he'd be experiencing withdrawal symptoms.


Anyways, about the situation at hand:

Part of me wants to be mad that you took away his stuff. It's his property and I really hate it when parents take my property away without asking. And it's often for reasons that I could easily (and normally do) work out on my own.

And part of me wants to say that I don't really care and that you should just tell your son to get over it.

You could also try getting him a crack pipe and giving him fifty dollars with some directions to a decent dealer. That should distract him from WoW. Of course, that might distract him from everything.

That was a joke.

We don't get many concerned parents on the Escapist, I have to take every opportunity to mess with this situation.

That being said; I bet he'd stop arguing if you hired him a couple attractive hookers for a few hours. He might even buy you one of those nifty "#1 Mom" mugs.

EDIT: Show him this. It will make him never want to watch anything on a screen again.

 

[Jfswift]

I think what you did was the right choice. If you tell him he can only play on weekends or a few days he wont be able to remain competitive when playing online, and you can't limit daily hours either for the same reason because if he has to turn the PC off in the middle of a raid, you've just screwed everyone else playing that game by removing a crucial team member (I stopped playing about three years ago). So yea, I think just making him stop altogether makes sense. I agree too with what others said on here, he needs something else to replace that time with. What else does he like to do or show an interest in?

 

[Badger Kyre]

Lotsa good thoughts...

but don't forget to ask this guy:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/ask-dr-mark/8058-Ask-Dr-Mark-6

 

[Nihlex]

Of course it's very common... and sometimes violent...
I was addicted to WoW for a while but it just sort of fell off of me when I picked up the guitar. so it's best to get him another hobby...
Edit:
Oh yes, one more piece of advice...

That poor boy had his clothes ripped off by a blanket!
haha just kidding.

I was hardcore addicted to maplestory. Glad that's over.

 

[Burst6]

I think a good start would be taking his computers power cable every night.

 

[Apocalypse Tank]

I consider myself a pretty irresponsible teenager, because you see, I too was addicted to gaming but specifically WoW.

It is very much creating one's identity all over again, and to many that is very appealing, so I can see where your son is coming from (all the pvp and guild raids still get to me).

I am very concerned for you and the well being of your child, and unfortunately something so well made can be destructive as well. Sometimes my parents still remind me to control gaming, and that goes to show how far and how intensive control must be implemented in order to curb the addiction.

Yeah, the rest of this thread discussion offers conciliatory personal experiences and useless videos, and understandably we aren't psychiatrists or people who specialize in children. I hope you will have an absolute resolve, and push on when necessary, until his self-responsibility is developed.

Good luck, may education and wise parenting triumph

 

[Snotnarok]

Not gaming related, but this one has a special place in my heart:

That girl really needs a reality check, you're 18, over confident and can still be raped by a man. Men typically are stronger and if they want they can do bad things, especially if there's more than one. And that guy really needs a slapping around for rubbing in a punishment.

OT: Maybe sit down with your son, say how you feel calmly and don't push too hard I'd say.

 

[Isolda Sage]

Lotsa good thoughts...

but don't forget to ask this guy:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/ask-dr-mark/8058-Ask-Dr-Mark-6

Thanks for this ! A good article and something to think about.
And as you said in an earlier post being 12 does SUCK!