I have an addict under my roof !

[veloper]

There's a popular misconception. He's not "forfeiting his life". If one were to casually observe me the might think the same. I spend most of my time at my large table me and my father built specially for all my gaming and computer stuff that has all my controllers, consoles, games, my PC, my capture card and more on it (including an unopened can of Mountain Dew Halo 3 Game Fuel). I spend most of my time either on here, on TvTropes, on games or watching everything from Buffy The Vampire Slayer to Ghost In The Shell on my 360's Netflix Instant Stream. I just turn the TV and lay in bed and watch it. However, a few years back I switched from normal schooling to using Florida Virtual School [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_Virtual_School] for it. I'm an awesome student, finally don't have to go at the pace of all the retards who were in school (I normally do 5 or 6 lessons a day while we'd do 1 a week in school) and am normally an A student. Yet besides for that time, I just normally play video games, watch TV and post. To anyone who didn't know all that info I'd seem like I'd have to be failing and pathetic. While to some people I still am pathetic, you can't deny the rest. Just because someone spends most of their time gaming/watching TV/posting/losing themselves for most of a month to TV Tropes doesn't mean they can't do a remarkable amount of schoolwork in a short amount of time. To sum this post, looks can be deceiving.

I did read this and you are right sometimes looks can be deceiving. My problem is that I have a kid who is not eating, not sleeping and becoming consumed by a video game. And yes his behavior is intolerable.

You can drop the ball on everything, except schooling!

School is important and dropping out may ruin your kid's future. The rest is tertiary at that age and he won't starve himself to death, if there's food.

So he wants WOW. As a parent you also have your finger over the dope release button.

Reward him with WOW time for doing his school work and getting good grades. Figure out first how much WOW time for how much school work is optimal.

It's also worth finding out if he has mates at school who also play WOW. If so, you're in luck as he won't get as much physical and mental abuse belonging in a group, even if it's a geek circle.
If he doesn't have any friends at school, you prolly have a major cause for his retreat into a computer game right there. Then it's not just the game, it's his only friends he's wants to be with.

 

[barkingbug]

Being oppressive does not help. If you want him to not do something, have something else for him to do. I dont mean chores either, but fun things. I spend most of my time gaming. Id spend less time gaming though if I could hang out with friends more, for example.

I do NOT believe I am be oppressive! I am providing as much for him to do as possible! I have been encouraging him to spend time with friends and do the other things he love to do!
He has fun when we are out doing things and goes right back to harassing me to let him play the minute we get home.
I don't mind him playing; not at all. I just want him to keep it in balance and show me some better behavior first!

When my middle school best friend and I were your son's age, we played videogames constantly, and when I was in high school, I spent a lot of time glued to a computer screen. Your son is at a terribly difficult age when escaping to a world where he feels as though he has control and some semblance of fun and a life is a tremendous temptation.
You're right to think your son is addicted, and he is. I've been addicted to two MMOs, and I had the sense to quit both after I realized my life was being wasted. My parents tried to force me to cut down on my gaming, but it didn't help much until I recognized that I had a problem. In my opinion, your son will be much less resistant if he acknowledges the fact that he has a serious problem, otherwise he will feel as though you are being restrictive and oppressive and lash out against you.
There are a lot of parents who have been in your shoes, and there are sites and forums where you can contact them. I suggest you do so.

A lot of other people have said that it sounds as though your son needs to find other hobbies and fun things to do, and I agree with them. If he has fun when you're out doing things, but harasses you the minute you get home, he probably feels stifled and bored.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Spinozaad]

Make a reasonable deal with him, I'd say.

He joins a team sport (I wouldn't go for a martial art, I'd go for an actual, factual team sport where social interaction is absolute key), he has a fixed amount of time to be spend on homework each day.

And in return, up to two hours of WOW each day, with the entire Saturday evening/Sunday afternoon as WoW-time, too.

That's reasonable, (although don't expect him to agree. As you probably know, kids/teenagers are egocentric maniacs) and you'll be happy, too.

 

[Zealous]

I'm sixteen and the same thing happened to me (on a minor scale). Just place some limits/restrictions/etc. on the computer at certain time and/or have a time limit on it. Supplement it with some other fun activities. That should improve his behavior.
Also note that he was playing a MOMRPG (Massive Online Multiplayer Role Playing Game) which is INCREDIBLY addictive. Try to get him into another kind of game that's less time consuming. Perhaps one with online multiplayer matches that only last up to 20 minutes a piece?
Hope this helps...

 

[mageroel]

I was almost addicted to Maplestory, only thing that helped for me was a friend who told me I was addicted and needed to go out more - I stopped playing it from that day on, and it worked. I occasionally go play Maple again, but never more than a week or two; it bores the crap out of me now.
So: Get a friend (or friends) to tell him he needs to come from behind his computer and hang around with him/them.

 

[ChiryX]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

I was always like that too when I was younger, most thing I was pissed about was when my parents put limits to my computer as I tought its my own bussiness of how much I play. And well... in my oppinion I suggest you to just let him play just if he gets his school and stuff right. Worst thing can happen is him turning to be a nerd but then again from a parents perspective its not that bad as then he wont turn to drugs and alcohol like all the cool kidzz<33 xD

 

[Varrdy]

Took two more posts than I expected for the freakout video to be posted.

yeah I was gonna be first but I got ninja'd while looking for the vid...

That video is scary as fuck! I've heard of people going insane over losing their WoW access but that's beyond mental! The guy (who is rather well built for someone who obviously spent too much time in front of WoW) squeals like a pig and it aint because a hillbilly's telling him to!

To the OP, the mother of the gaming addicted kid, try showing him the vid and telling him what he has to look forward to unless he eases off on the WoW.

Wardy

 

[knight steel]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

One word GIRLFRIEND he 12 so the hormones should be starting to take effect, if you can find him a girlfriend that will take up most of his time and he will probably forget all about gaming, trust me i been in a similar situation ^_^. Although if he get's a girlfriend that could bring up other problems.

 

[veloper]

Make a reasonable deal with him, I'd say.

He joins a team sport (I wouldn't go for a martial art, I'd go for an actual, factual team sport where social interaction is absolute key),

That's a terrible idea. Only kids with talent for it should join a team sport. He'll just be at the bottom of the pack, if even that. You won't likely see any benefits.

There's much easier, faster and less painful ways to toughen a kid up.

Pure excercise with weights and dumbbells would be best.
Doesn't require any reflexes or charm to do it, but it does make a teen strong and confident the fastest, if you can get him to keep at it.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

My vote would to be just delete the damn thing, but that's just me. For those saying its not obsession: If he's playing it 10+ hours a day, that is fucking obsession. I work 8 hours a day Mon-Fri, if he's playing that game longer then I'm working through-out the week, he needs SOME discipline, especially when your wasting that much time sitting down at 12. When I was 12 (which isn't that long ago, not to sound like an old fart here) I was running around all day, just because games etc are available doesn't mean you should be playing them in every spare moment, especially at 12.

My two cents.

 

[Talendra]

I think a good start would be taking his computers power cable every night.

Yeah, I did that. That resulted in a blow up not so different than that video.

Definitely a good idea to limit his use like this. Had a similar problem to him and as long as he has other stuff to do he will get over it. Just needs time to realise how much better it is when he does not spend an obscene amount of time on a game, and especially gets a good night sleep.

The parental controls are really a good idea.

Though one little tip I can give you if he is still spending too much time on the computer and if you have a desktop computer, take the monitor cable instead. The power cable is exactly the same as most toasters, kettles, alot of TV's, a large amount of transformers use the same cable also.

If this issue ever comes up in regards to my own childhood.. I will deny all previous knowledge, but thought that might help you if he feels the need to play bad enough to sneak around while you are away.

 

[Macgyvercas]

you can't be addicted to video games.

MISCONCEPTION!

While it doesn't happen as often as the media wants us to think it does, it is entirely possible to be addicted to video games, just like everything else.

OT: OP, it has been said before. You can set times so it will only be possible to log on at those times.

 

[JEBWrench]

Lotsa good thoughts...

but don't forget to ask this guy:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/ask-dr-mark/8058-Ask-Dr-Mark-6

This right here. This site's Dr. Mark is a professional, and a recovered WoW addict. Shoot him a message. He seems like a pretty standup guy.

Talking to a professional about potential social issue is always a much better alternative than listening to the layman.

 

[WittyInfidel]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

I have seen similar before. I actually watched WoW be the final catalyst in destroying a marriage between two friends. I won't say WoW was the very thing that did it, but it was a straw on the camel's back.

Honestly, your best bet would be to cut internet connection. It sounds harsh, but when dealing with an addiction you MUST remove their ability to interact with the drug. How much booze do you think they keep in my dry-out rehab centers.

For the next step (which could come days or weeks after the initial removal) you MUST find something to replace the addiction with. Smokers often chew gum, ect. Your safest bet would be something that interested him before the WoW addiction. I would advise against things like computer games, console and hand-held games(xbox, Nintendo DS, ect) at the start for fear of the addiction re-manifesting even stronger with a different direction. This isn't saying no games ever again. Just practice a bit of common sense when giving them. You wouldn't give a fully loaded needle to a heroin addict fresh out of rehab, would you?

Lastly, and most important, get professional help. This form of addiction is very serious. People full in the throws of this type of addiction are just as addicted as someone on a narcotic substance. I know it sounds harsh, it being your own child an all. But if they are becoming as physically combative as you describe, you're going to have an even harder time in the next year or two what with the full onset of puberty. What is difficult now will become nightmarish very soon.

I know you love you child, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for help. But don't forget, YOU must be the parent. If you are not steadfast in your decisions, you might as well not be doing anything at all. Do the right thing and be the ADULT they need. They have plenty of best friends. What they need is a parent.

I truly wish you the best of luck.

 

[Spinozaad]

Make a reasonable deal with him, I'd say.

He joins a team sport (I wouldn't go for a martial art, I'd go for an actual, factual team sport where social interaction is absolute key),

That's a terrible idea. Only kids with talent for it should join a team sport. He'll just be at the bottom of the pack, if even that. You won't likely see any benefits.

There's much easier, faster and less painful ways to toughen a kid up.

Pure excercise with weights and dumbbells would be best.
Doesn't require any reflexes or charm to do it, but it does make a teen strong and confident the fastest, if you can get him to keep at it.

It's not about toughening up. It's about learning actual social skills. You don't learn any form of group dynamics from dumbbells and weights.

So what if he ain't that good at a team sport? He'll reach an age that sports with mates is just about the fun.

Unless America is indeed as socially destructive and competitive as the movies make it out to be. In which case I pity everyone.

 

[Charli]

I suggest you find him a second hobby to balance out WoW, that's the only reason I haven't succumbed to a total addiction myself, I have something else anchoring me away from spending all my time on it.

 

[WaffleGod]

IMO, you shouldn't simply take the game away from him. As stated before, use the parental settings. Or tell him he can't play more then X hours a day.

I had a cousin who played a lot of WoW, but I managed to give him another hobby by introducing him to Warhammer tabletop (or dungeons & dragons). You might have some succes with it aswell.

Also, how's his social skill? Does he have a lot of friends?