First off: Although this has led to some interesting discussion, allow me to reiterate: This thread was meant more for comedic purposes than as a serious review/opinion thread. And it's nice to see that some people did find it funny. If this were a serious review, I would've included far less swearing, and I would've probably focused a bit more on the positives of the beginning - For example, the music is fantastic, and I loved the visual style.
That being said, it is a bit annoying that people consider this a "Yahtzee" style review, considering that I did reviews like this far before I even knew Zero Punctuation existed. Yahtzee wasn't the first to review games in a sarcastic and sadistic manner (Although he probably is the best).
In all honesty, even eliminating comedic attempts, this wasn't really a review at all, more like a recording of my experience with the first 30 minutes. And I'll be honest, I'm getting a bit sick of people telling me that it's unfair to judge the entire game from the first half an hour. I agree, it is unfair to do that, which is why I'm not doing that. I specifically said at the end of my comment that "I'll play it more, but Zelda is really bad at first impressions", and that's mainly what I'm getting at.
I'm also getting sick of people claiming that I have no patience. I'm assuming these people are die-hard Nintendo fans who think any gamer who doesn't like Zelda is somebody who sits at home playing Call of Duty, but just for the record - In Video Games, first impressions are really important, and there's simply no getting around that. Video Games are expensive - Expensive to buy, expensive to rent, VERY expensive to find the necessary equipment to play. On top of that, it's simply ignorant to assume that every video gamer has the patience to play through the tedious first few hours of a game on the slim chance that it gets better later. Frankly, if I didn't know about all the critical acclaim that Zelda gets, and the history behind the franchise, I probably would've already returned it by now, considering there are a seemingly endless list of games which are fun from the very beginning, games from pretty much every genre which entertain from the get-go.
And everyone who claims that I should use a manual: I rented this game, and the rented version doesn't come with a manual, so I'm on my own with this. Of course, it's also worth mentioning that most games nowadays actually give you in-game instructions on what button does what.
That being said, it is a bit annoying that people consider this a "Yahtzee" style review, considering that I did reviews like this far before I even knew Zero Punctuation existed. Yahtzee wasn't the first to review games in a sarcastic and sadistic manner (Although he probably is the best).
In all honesty, even eliminating comedic attempts, this wasn't really a review at all, more like a recording of my experience with the first 30 minutes. And I'll be honest, I'm getting a bit sick of people telling me that it's unfair to judge the entire game from the first half an hour. I agree, it is unfair to do that, which is why I'm not doing that. I specifically said at the end of my comment that "I'll play it more, but Zelda is really bad at first impressions", and that's mainly what I'm getting at.
I'm also getting sick of people claiming that I have no patience. I'm assuming these people are die-hard Nintendo fans who think any gamer who doesn't like Zelda is somebody who sits at home playing Call of Duty, but just for the record - In Video Games, first impressions are really important, and there's simply no getting around that. Video Games are expensive - Expensive to buy, expensive to rent, VERY expensive to find the necessary equipment to play. On top of that, it's simply ignorant to assume that every video gamer has the patience to play through the tedious first few hours of a game on the slim chance that it gets better later. Frankly, if I didn't know about all the critical acclaim that Zelda gets, and the history behind the franchise, I probably would've already returned it by now, considering there are a seemingly endless list of games which are fun from the very beginning, games from pretty much every genre which entertain from the get-go.
And everyone who claims that I should use a manual: I rented this game, and the rented version doesn't come with a manual, so I'm on my own with this. Of course, it's also worth mentioning that most games nowadays actually give you in-game instructions on what button does what.
