I think I found the most pretentious video game review site ever.

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LarenzoAOG

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http://shop.killscreendaily.com/products/birth-of-pixel-venus-rich-grillotti-pixeljam

They expect you to pay $20 for a pizel dot picture you could make in a paint program in 15 minutes, they are undoubtibly cunts.
 

Pat8u

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JourneyThroughHell said:
BreakfastMan said:
I have always meant to ask: Why do you think Extra Credits is pretentious? They have never seem to act pretentious from what I have seen. Can you expound upon your opinion?
Because:

a) They present blatantly obvious stuff as a revelation to their viewers and then helpfully explain that obvious stuff everyone already knew. It's a show that likes to repeat popular opinion fodder, but mix it up with complex words and a high-pitched sped-up voice. [EXAMPLE [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/extra-credits/3201-Graphics-vs-Aesthetics]]

b) They come up with absolutely inane stuff and expect people to take it seriously. [EXAMPLE [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/extra-credits/3167-Gamifying-Education]]

c) They're just not particularly insightful or clever.

d) Most videos, seriously, MOST of their videos have some sort of command in them - something we absolutely HAVE TO DO as an industry, as consumers, something developers HAVE TO DO. Sounds a little Glenn Beck-ish.

Oh. And they don't do their research too well.
You can have an opnion Just don't tell any one else because THEY DO NOT CARE I try to keep my opnions from being dickish by not commentig on things I don't like and on the rare case I do comment on something I don't like I try not to be a dick no one cares about other peoples opnions
 

Ericb

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BGH122 said:
That wasn't my point. Fiction is most definitely allowed to be interpreted, but only within the context of the fiction. It isn't a valid criticism of a scene to say that 'this scene doesn't match up to real life expectations!' because such a criticism is arbitrary to the scene unless its intent was to match up to real life expectations.
That sounds reasonable, but I'll pose a question that is in no way rethoric nor sarcastic: Wasn't that the intent in L.A. Noire's design?

I'm not using this as justificiation for his particular focus, only that it certainly lends itself to such a viewpoint if lifelikeness is one of its strong elements.

It just isn't a review. To be titled as such and put a score in the end puts it in a wrong spot to be compared.
 

Ulquiorra4sama

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Feb 2, 2010
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BGH122 said:
Viking Incognito said:
50 out of what?
Out of what? Out of what?!

"Out of what?" the words coursed their way through my caffeine addled brain until nothing but their haunting echo resounded in my mindspace, reverberating off the boundaries of my cerebrum like a ricocheting bullet twisted with a mystery.

"Out of what?" the words barked their dull cry at me, over and over again, pressing ever harder for an answer to a question that shook me to the very depths of my waking being; the demanding crack of a cocked pistol, the suffocating silence of the aftershock as the question ricocheted on.

"Out of what?" ... A tingling in the depths of my consciousness, a whisper from a flash of thought already lost amidst the depths of my brooding soul. Suddenly an image drifted before my mind's eye, the number 50 lost amidst a sea of digits cloaked in impossible geometry, a colour without form. Red.

With a sudden yearning rush the cogs creaked into action, complying finally with the siren's call. The bullet came to a stop. It had found its home amongst the dessicated wreckage of my subconscious, lost deep beneath the waves of my peripheral thoughts.

"Out of nothing!" I erupted. All at once a wave of dizzy nausea swam throughout my hunched form, neurotransmitters breathing their lifeless breath into my core. My heart sped, racing away from me like the explanation ever ahead of my reach. Always one step ahead of my reach.

The sunken vessel of my subconscious let sway its hold over one survivor, one insignificant morsel in the endless, infinite seas of buried secrets lying tantalisingly just outside my realm of cognizance. The thought bobbed up to crest the waves and, for a glimpse of a second, the rays of my sentience probed its tattered ethereal outline.

My heart now raced like never before, a steady, well oiled machine pumping nicotine and caffeine throughout my shaking system. Numeracy was a lie. The sudden snap of realisation forced the bile up my throat. The bitter taste of the truth burnt ever higher towards my gasping mouth, sucking desperately for air that wouldn't come. Air that was just out reach.

Just out of reach. The thought seemed peculiarly inviting, but I knew at the end of that thought lay something from which I instinctively wanted to turn. A burning bright light too terrifying to look upon for fear of blinding, too bold to ignore.

I faced the light. The world around me squirmed and dissolved like a worm in an acid bath. The clawing, hungering fingertips of the truth beyond eschewing my naive beliefs, my pathetic fantasies of reality.

I turned away. I was too afraid to go on.

"Out of what?" the question squealed.


Maybe now his review company will hire me to do reviews? See? I can type like a paint-huffing paranoid schizophrenic who's just been rejected by a publisher too.
It actually works when it's done as a sort of satire. Brilliant post.

OT: The review itself made me want to choke myself with a cord... or some barbed wire.
 

Kyoufuu

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Dr Jones said:
Wolfram01 said:
I'm going to be honest here...

That review is a brilliant portrayal of LA Noire. I had fun, but it left a bad taste in my mouth by the end. Actually, by the time I got to arson desk.

It's the Truman Show. Well said.
Aint really a good review, not matter how you look at it, no matter what game we're talking about. Imagine you had NO idea about what L.A. Noire is, and you read his review, do you think you would have the slightest clue about what it is?
*raises hand*
Seriously, I had not a clue prior to reading this review. It sounds to me like a detective game with the limitations that come from having a machine run the game, as opposed to a Game Master. And the reviewer sounds like a person who has never played a video game before.

Yes, you can't leave the city, they aren't going to map out the whole world so you can go exploring, are they?

Yes, the citizens say the same lines over and over again, they can hardly become intelligent and make their own opinions, and therefore comments, can they? And because there are so few characters (relative to the number of people in LA), why would the creators flesh out, and have people comment on, other people who you never meet?

Yes, the cars stop when you walk in front of them, because if they didn't, it would be really friggin annoying to cross a street, and yes, they stop as long as you stay there, because once again, the drivers are not intelligent, they cannot figure out how long they should have to wait for you.
 

lSHaDoW-FoXl

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Say what you want, believe what you want, but you know what? This guy's name is fucking awesome. Kirk-Fucking-Hamilton. What else can I say? That's the kind of name that'll eventually lead the master race. I swear to god, everytime I type that name my fingers cum rainbows.
 

Trixsy

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Jun 1, 2011
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WOW that was obnoxious to read. If I was having a conversation with someone, and they started going on about this LA Noire in game conspiracy purgatory nonsense I would grab them, shake them, and shout, "IT'S JUST A GAME!"
 

mirror's edgy

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Sep 30, 2010
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There is a fine line between serious analysis and making an existential mountain out of a molehill. This guy, however, does the latter.
I also notice that many people are arguing over who is the most pretentious in this very website now. I think we can all agree that some people try to articulate their opinions differently and there's no need to label them for it.
 

Elf Defiler Korgan

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I liked the review. Worked his take around the quotes you hear in game, and the strange vibe the reviewer got from the setting.
 

Nightspirit

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May 30, 2011
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"I found the perfect evidence, almost as though it had been placed there just for me." Pretty sure that was the aim
 

InsomniJack

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Dec 4, 2009
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That wasn't a review, that was a blog post.

So, what, was he grading his own blog post?

"Man, this article feels like a fifty. It's halfway there, but I know I can do better!"
 

donscarletti

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Jan 19, 2011
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Just putting it out there, when I saw the title, I thought this was a thread complaining about Extra Credit too.

It has two issues as I see it,
- Firstly it is completely deadpan, rather than relying on over-the-top humor like Zero Punctuation to push its message through entertainment, it claims that the message itself is enough to reach the audience, which is quite a claim to make. Yahtzee is funny even when you don't agree with him and he's obviously not thought something through, because he's larger than life, a parody of himself and brings with him no expectation of anything but extreme arrogance and aggression.
- Secondly, it pitches the simple, obvious solution to extremely complex problems as if nobody has ever thought of them before and with the correct implementation, will just fix everything. It is like going to a BBQ and someone tells you how the tax system can be made more fair by just charging everyone the same percentage of their income, or that one time when some guy told me that world poverty could be fixed if we were to nuke Africa. Making computer games is hard, playing them and talking about them is easy, were there a simple solution to these problems, someone would have done it by now.
 

ThatDaveDude1

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Nautical Honors Society said:
I mean I have no problem with the fact that they gave L.A. Noire a 50, but just read how this review is written.

It's more about the writing than the review itself. Yuck.

http://killscreendaily.com/articles/reviews/review-l-noire
Am I missing something here? Because I enjoyed the review.

Also, Big Words =/= Pretentious. I've read this review twice now (once when it was originally posted, once just now) and both times I've found nothing at all pretentious about it? What exactly are you seeing here, if you don't mind me asking?
 

Android2137

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Feb 2, 2010
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...Maybe it's because I skimmed it, but I really don't see what's so terrible or pretentious about this guy. A bit carried away with his imagination maybe, but not pretentious.
 
Sep 17, 2009
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ThatDaveDude1 said:
Nautical Honors Society said:
I mean I have no problem with the fact that they gave L.A. Noire a 50, but just read how this review is written.

It's more about the writing than the review itself. Yuck.

http://killscreendaily.com/articles/reviews/review-l-noire
Am I missing something here? Because I enjoyed the review.

Also, Big Words =/= Pretentious. I've read this review twice now (once when it was originally posted, once just now) and both times I've found nothing at all pretentious about it? What exactly are you seeing here, if you don't mind me asking?
Too much style and nitpicking not enough information. The reviewer seems mote interested in his own prose than the games themselves. But it I a matter of opinion and I respect yours.

I just hope next time you'll give me the same respect and not assume I couldn't understand the"big words".
 

zeldagirl

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Mar 15, 2011
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Ragnos13 said:
And as for Extra Credits, if you don't like it, don't watch it, but don't litter the forum with your condescending BS. Gamifying Education may just be the term they created for the subject, but the actual idea is extremely new and quickly becoming an important innovation in education all over the world, so calling it inane is a little shortsighted and just makes you look like even more of a pretentious waste of breath.
http://blog.ted.com/2011/01/21/games-that-launch-companies-games-that-heal-qa-with-jane-mcgonigal/
http://www.brainygamer.com/the_brainy_gamer/
Those are some examples you can read and decide for yourself whether or not it's inane.

Goodness, this so hard. People keep throwing the word "pretentious" around, and I can only think: