I Think My Girlfriend Is A Lesbian . . .

[Comma-Kazie]

So I was helping my girlfriend with her computer earlier this afternoon and I noticed a book on her shelf entitled "The Best Lesbian Erotica."

Wow. Okay. That might explain why she's been so distant. The question is, though, IS that evidence that she likes women rather than men, or . . . well, what?

Should I talk to her about this? I haven't seen any (and I mean ANY) signs of interest from her since I asked her out--not a hug, not a peck, not even a proferred hand to hold.

 

[Dys]

AWSOME!

Seriously, that sucks, you should probably man up and talk to her, find out how she feels. Lots of girls 'swing both ways' so communication is probably useful her, she may just be distant because she's conservative.

 

[3rd rung]

I would ask but be really careful how you word what you say or you could start up a shit storm

 

[T 980]

If you can't bring it up, the relationship won't work in the long run. Ask or just break up.

 

[karp250]

If u just asked her out and she is already distant there is more to look at then just if she likes women as well

 

[Timotei]

You'll really have to ask her about this.

But wait, if she's never even given you so much as a handshke, can you really call her your "girlfriend" in the traditional sense?

 

[ElephantGuts]

Hmm, that is quite odd. I would suggest asking her about it. I mean, if she's already being distant, you don't have that much to lose do you? If she is a lesbian you're probably better off without her anyway.*

*Clarification: Better off without her because she isn't attracted to your sex, so the relationship would be a frustrating waste of time. That wasn't a homophobic statement or anything, as someone suggested it might be taken as.

 

[Sewblon]

And all this time I thought I had it bad with relationships, thanks for putting that in perspective. Confront her about it now.

 

[Souplex]

Best case scenario: Your girlfriend is Bi. This leads to all sorts of fun situations.
Worst case scenario: Your girlfriend leaves you for a woman creating all sorts of complexes in your mind.
Most likely scenario: She was just looking at it.

 

[law2013]

AWSOME!

Seriously, that sucks, you should probably man up and talk to her, find out how she feels.

I agree but I would add that you should be careful about talking with her. You should not jump to conclusions and assume she is a lesbian after all she could also be bisexual, and her detachment from you is only coincidental.

 

[Carlston]

So I was helping my girlfriend with her computer earlier this afternoon and I noticed a book on her shelf entitled "The Best Lesbian Erotica."

Wow. Okay. That might explain why she's been so distant. The question is, though, IS that evidence that she likes women rather than men, or . . . well, what?

Should I talk to her about this? I haven't seen any (and I mean ANY) signs of interest from her since I asked her out--not a hug, not a peck, not even a proferred hand to hold.

If that's not a great big hint not sure what is. Now it could be just a bi thing of lookingat women porn wise but this....i'd have a talk.

 

[manaman]

...Why do you think we're the best people to ask about this?

If she isn't showing any interest in you, why are you even with her?

Cause it is not zero interest?

Who knows.


OP: Dude just talk to her. As long as you frame the question right I don't see how you can go wrong with this tactic. I can't help you frame the question however as I don't know either of you.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

... Uh.
Why would she be going out with you if she's into girls exclusively?
She might be bisexual. Or curious.

Unless, of course, you're The Beard.
In which case, rough luck, I guess.

 

[Random Argument Man]

Did you read the book?

Maybe she is...Or maybe she's curious. I hope for you it's the latter.

 

[RebelRising]

If you're prepared for her to be honest about her lesbianism, you can voice your concerns over not being told, but ultimately, be open to listening and being understanding. It could very well be that she's pressured, either directly or indirectly, into dating men, because she's afraid of the stigma of homosexuality, in whatever form. So if you, being her "boyfriend", can be a safe person to come out to, I can imagine it will be very helpful for her to gain confidence and not have to hide it.

It would sort of hurt, I imagine. but it doesn't have to be a huge setback, and you can be the good samaritan by being understanding.

 

[sms_117b]

Next time you're in that room with her, helping her with something, position yourself so that looking over your shoulder to sneeze makes you look at it, then, read the name out loud and ask "what?"

I.e. you should talk to her about it.

 

[Rensenhito]

She could be just "curious" like my girlfriend is. How long have you two been going out? I mean, I'd probably expect at least a LITTLE emotion from her, even if you guys had only been going out a few weeks.

 

[Yuno]

Talk to her. If you can't even talk to her, you may as well break up. But I'm hoping you -can-, so I advise the first thing.

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

If she was lesbian why would she be dating you in the first place. And if you turned her lesbian... welcome to the [i/]My life is equal to that of George Costanza[/i] club.