If a group of armed men burst into your home

[Iron Mal]

Unidentified men:

a) Try to find out who they are and resolve the situation peacefully.

b) Arm myself with the nearby weapon and demand that the men identify themselves (while taking a defensive position).

c) See a).

SWAT Team:

a) Try to discover why they're in my house and explain that they have the wrong person.

b) Discard the weapon and show that I pose no threat.

c) Discard the Boomerang and ask why they're here.

 

[Acidwell]

A) Say: "Aw, man, Steve, it's that time already?"
B) Pick up the rifle and say: "I guess it's time to take out the trash."
C) Distract them with my witty repartee (sp?)

And if they were a SWAT team, I'd say. "Max lives next door."

An example for C: You're not going to boom my rang
(Too cheesy?)
OT:RUN, fast

 

[traceur_]

1) Piss myself, cower in fear and comply with their demands.
2) Piss myself, cower in fear and comply with their demands.
3) Piss myself, cower in fear and comply with their demands.

Incidentally I'm actually holding a boomerang right now, I call it Steve.

 

[Ophiuchus]

The only correct answer is "Get on my knees and beg for my life". Unless The Escapist is frequented by ninjas and commandos.

No ninjas or commandos, just a lot of Internet Tough Guys.

I'd stick my hands up, do what they said and ask questions later. They're armed, I'm not taking chances.

 

[Hazy]

...A group?
I'd run, obviously.

One guy, I might have a chance against, if I can manage to avoid his notice long enough to shoot him in the back.

But a group (which is usually three or more people?)
Nooo thanks.

Wait, Max. Don't you have like death traps laid throughout your house just for this kind of occurance? You really woulden't have to do anything.

Which.. I would have no idea about.. *Nervous Cough*

OT: Offer them cake and refreshments. Then when they're all nice and fattend, I shall make my escape.

 

[Hazy]

Wait, Max. Don't you have like death traps laid throughout your house just for this kind of occurance? You really woulden't have to do anything.

Which.. I would have no idea about.. *Nervous Cough*

OT: Offer them cake and refreshments. Then when they're all nice and fattend, I shall make my escape.

No, I'm very forgetful and I don't like to die.

Well, I know what you're getting for Christmas!

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'd flirt my way of it.

Having breasts come in handy.

 

[crudus]

little did the robbers or SWAT team know, there is a pitfall trap a few feet into my door.

Robbers
A. start playing a better game and convince the robbers they have the wrong house since I am playing a Playstation game.
B. are they illegal?
C. tell the robbers they have the rob house

Swat Team
1. These people have a hard enough life without me being a dick so ill do what they want.
2. get shot, then arrested because those are illegal.
3. These people have a hard enough life without me being a dick so ill do what they want.

I'd flirt my way of it.

Having breasts come in handy.

Well, problem is people might take that as a sexual advance. So the SWAT team might get you for sexual harassment where as the robbers might just take you.

 

[The Rockerfly]

Make sure I have my martyrdom perk on

 

[Joa_Belgium]

a) I'd go nuts because they wrecked my new front door and beat them to death with the butt end of the light gun.
b) I'd go nuts because they wrecked my new front door, ask them to turn around (hey, it's the least they can do for barging in) and giving them all clean headshots in one sweep.
c) I'd go nuts because they wrecked my new front door, attach my dog to the boomerang and throw the boomerang their way.

In reality:

I'd barricade myself in a room upstairs, climb out, sneak out via the roof, get in my garage through the front, grab gasoline, try to confine them in one space and then burn 'em alive. Or at least I'd try to soak them in gasoline in one way or another. Not that hard, anyway. Just make sure you grab something inflammable like a deodorant, hold a lighter for it and then burn them from a safe distance when they're soaked.

Hey, it's me or them. They'd find me anyway if I'd run.

If it happens to be a SWAT team, then I'll quietly lie on the ground and go with them.

 

[The Austin]

A.) I'd throw the beast at them and run like crazy
B.) Pwninate them
C.) Do what the Ausies woud do, throw the beast, hope it shatters their skull, and if it does'nt, run like crazy.


Yea. Thats how I roll.

 

[Russian_Assassin]

1. Throw the gun at them and jump out of the window
2. Shoot them in the face after a long showdown. Then sell their guns to replace all my damaged furniture.
3. Ask God what the fuck am I supposed to do with a bloody boomerang when they have M4s!

Alternative: Tell them that Steve lives next door and kindly request that they fix my door before leaving.

 

[UAProxy]

a) "Oh, evening. I don't think you have the right house. *continue playing, knowing that my valuables are safely hidden*"

b) "Oh, evening. I don't think you have the right house. *shrug, knowing that I can mow them down easily enough if I have the range*"

c) "(in thick aussie accent)Ah, g'day mate! Th'name's Bruce. Fancy a walkabout? Let's put another shrimp on the barbie. Well I'll be a wallaby's uncle! *throw boomerang and run, hoping that they were confused enough by my gibberish*"

For the swat team, I'd do the same without the actions.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

For the robbers, I'd hit my house's panic button. Which sends the cops a-coming and the robbers a-scrambling.

For SWAT, i'll just ask if they have a search warrant. Hey, its late here and I can't form a proper thought.

 

[Mad Maniac with axe-firing chainsaw]

A) hide behind my bedroom door and hit the last man through my homes main corridor with the console as hard as I can before stealing his weapon. If they came into my room first, wait for the first guy to come in and rip the weapon away from him before turning it on his comrades. With any luck they'd be dead before they turned around. If (as is most likely) I wasn't fast enough, I get to die in a hail of bullets.
B) Pick it up, hide behind the door again and this time take them all out from behind after they pass my room. If they try to storm the room, kill them as they come through the door. I'm a decent shot with a handgun at medium range as it happens, and these guys are point blank.
C) Surrender. What the hell would I do with a boomerang? Or I could try hitting them with a console again. I have an XBOX 360 and being hit by that thing has got to hurt.

In the case of the SWAT team, surrender immediately.

 

[SteakHeart]

A: I drop the lightgun and pick up a cleaver from my knife drawer.
B: Pick up the gun in one hand and a cleaver in the other.
C: Tape the cleaver to the boomerang and throw it..

As you can see, I really like the idea of fending off some armed baddies with a cleaver.

If they are swat, I wave hello through one of their riot shields and keep playing.

 

[BernasLL]

In all three eventualities, I'd ask them if they wanted cookies and a cup of tea . And then roundhouse kick them to yesterday .

 

[obliterate]

Probably get shot in the face in all of the above situations, as they have the drop on me already.

Then uh, not get shot in the face if they were SWAT in all of the above situations.

Yup totally...there is the part of course that I have never held a gun before