If I Were _____ I Would _____

[Skuffyshootster]

If I were obese I would have a lot of health problems.

 

[HillDragon]

If I were here i would post.

 

[wewontdie11]

If I were Tim Westwood I would shoot myself. 18 times. In the face and genitals. With an orbital laser.

 

[Deathsong17]

if i were God i would kill myself just to see what would happen

How can you see if your dead.

 

[Orca87]

If I were a Sloorbeeze passing her young, I would Jiggle.

anywho. If I were any man, I would masterbate... alot

This implies women do not masturbate a lot, I know a woman who does it a lot more then me, and I'm a dude

 

[GirlGamer]

If I were Gordon Freeman, I would jump on people's heads.

 

[ZerOmega]

If I would be part of the Devour Force Seven I would create random jokes for sitcoms.

 

[Dr. Wily III]

If I were a grenade I would run into the enemy so he can't escape.

Missun Comprete!

 

[John Smyth]

if i were a rich man i would sing "YADA DADA DAADA DADA DUM!!"

Damn it that was my first thought now I need to think of another

 

[El Poncho]

If I were a woman I would have a shower.. immediately.

 

[Viper1265]

If i were popular i wouldn't be spending my time reading and posting on forums

 

[Gardenclaw]

If i were a hammer, i'd hammer in the morning

 

[philosophicalbastard]

If I were bored I would post in this thread.

 

[TheLazyKnight]

If I were Joss Whedon I would make a new season of Firefly dammit!

 

[Get Jiggy]

If I were Schroedinger's cat I would sit in my box.... maybe.

If I were near you I'd hug you for your epic post then join with you on a great and noble quest to vanquish westwood once and for all. Then after a battle lasting roughly three solid days the beast would fall and the world will celebrate our gallantry, songs would be sung in our name and our birthdays would be made into national holidays. The End.

 

[TheFacelessOne]

If I were Master Chief I would travel back in time, kill everyone I dislike, and leave.

 

[xXGeckoXx]

If i were drive trains[/B]

you mean a conductor?

If I were me I wouldn't post in this silly thread.
PARADOX!

NO conductor is the ticket guy. train driver is the guy who drives the trains.

 

[feversk]

the man who turned my man into woman and then pointed out monkeyboy's plan's flaws... you win

Hmm, I managed to win in three posts on this forum? Nice...

If I were a woman I would have a shower.. immediately.

Wait, are you implying that women are unclea... Oh wait I get it.

 

[BLS]

If I were a butterfly, I would thank you lord for giving me wings.
hymn reference for any satanists out there who never went to church and sang songs

 

[xXGeckoXx]

If I were obese I would have a lot of health problems.

If I were obese I would have a lot of health Points.

Corrected