If Kirby ate you...

[KimberlyGoreHound]

He would get sores on his face and have the power to give people herpes...

He would get shoulder length hair and a leather jacket and the ability to... I dunno headbang to Metal music and play shooters pretty good.

Okay, that's actually pretty accurate to me, so I'll just steal this answer, because I'm boring and uncreative.

Hey that's mine. Give it back or I'll call the police.

Fine. I'll give Kirby a straightjacket and the power to write disturbing literature.

 

[SD-Fiend]

he would get a wolf cap and be able to use cartoon like abilities

 

[fesc]

He would grow side-burns, get spiky brown hair, and gain knowledge of every cultural contribution to society of all time.

 

[FireBlade_2049]

He'd get a black headband with the kanji for pervert on the tails, a camo jacket with anime patches on the shoulders, and a rusty makeshift sword crafted from an old Ford Galaxy.

And maaaaaybe excessive brown / blonde bedhead.

 

[TehChef]

He'd get shoulder length hair, some sweet mutton chops + goatee, and either beat the shit out of people with a six string bass or turn into an even better cook and deal more damage than his normal cooking attack.

 

[NoblePhilistineFox]

he would wear a black jacket, wear glasses, and he would fall asleep(kinda like when he eats noddy)

 

[PrimoThePro]

Hmm... Very interesting thread...
He would get long hair, and have this headbang ability that would cut up people around him. (Metal music comes along with it)

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

I suppose he would have my blonde mop hair, and he would probably be able to play guitar. Best of all...ingrown toe-nails.

 

[Nedoras]

He would get really long hair, a constant urge to play Metal Gear Online, and would know where basically every last thing is Morrowind is.

 

[TheLefty]

He'd get a fedora, turn a nice mocha color, and gain the ability to be mediocre at everything he does.

That was a pretty mediocre post.

My point exactly.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

He'd be brown.

 

[Generator]

He'd get dark brown hair, parted in the middle, and a jacket which falls off one of his shoulders. (These, according to my friends, are the most distinguishing physical features I have. Personally, I always thought it was my oddly shaped nose.)

I'm not really sure what his power would be; I guess he'd be really sarcastic and relatively good at school and the guitar.

 

[Angelcraft]

He would become the sexiest thing alive.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

He would gain a Driving Cap and Glasses.

He would also gain the power to Melt! throw Loofahs.

(Best I got)

 

[Jin Hikari]

He'd get a karate gi with a black belt around it, brown spikey hair and twin katana.
However, he'd also develop an online game addiction 0.0

 

[Free Thinker]

If Kirby ate me, he'd have a pair of headphones, a turntable, and some other techno crap and blind you laser lights and glow sticks.

 

[Proctorninja]

he would have a straw hat and gain the ability to stretch as far as he wants

 

[Raziel_Likes_Souls]

He would become a luchador wielding a chair. Fuck Yeah.