If pokemon were real, they would be freaking scary

[Paddin]

Bidoof.

Enough said.

 

[akiata]

Although if mine did matter, it would be Jinx.

They would be sirens luring us into strange places, putting us to sleep, and sucking our souls out of our mouths.

But mine would have to be Aerodactyl. Come on, no where would be safe. They are flying hunks of rock with fangs.

 

[Captain Incapable]

Although if mine did matter, it would be Jinx.

They would be sirens luring us into strange places, putting us to sleep, and sucking our souls out of our mouths.

But mine would have to be Aerodactyl. Come on, no where would be safe. They are flying hunks of rock with fangs.

True. Maybe improve guns so that they can damage such things and invent vaccines so that they can't do that.

 

[Captain Incapable]

Growlithes (Did I spell it right?) would be win.

 

[WolfThomas]

Alakazam, it has an IQ over 5000. That's not just way beyond humans or even computers, that's like ascended demi god being intelligence.

Lets stop and think about that's ridiculous, one of these creatures alone could solve all the planet's (let alone the universe's) problems, or rule it with a psychic fist. Yet they are used to fight two head ostriches?

 

[ModsDeleteThisAccountPlease]

Arceus.

OH MY GOD! A ****ING CENTAUR GOD THING IS ABOUT TO KILL US ALL!

 

[Asturiel]

Ummm, they wouldnt be scary, if I had my own arsonal of pokemon as bodyguards.

Otherwise Mewtwo...he does have a grudge against humanity so he's gonna be killing for the sake of killing, not just instinct ppl.

 

[Shapsters]

Gyrados.
Sure, Charizard and the other dragons are scary as hell, but Gyrados can fucking lurk under the water, waiting for your fat ass to go swimming or something.
At least with the land based ones, you have something of a chance.
Not with that giant snaky bastard, though.

*Shuffles papers*

Gyrados is.... a ninja?

*dons hat*
Close. But not quite. It is the nightmare of all who swim, though.
Imagine Jaws, but with a fucking hyper beam.
You just crapped yourself a bit, didn't you?

Picture this. You're swimming in the ocean, your yacht lolling about lazily in the water. Pale moonlight streaks across the waves in a brilliant shimmering silver.You feel great. Beyond great since you had that six pack, but hey, it's not like anyones there to check up on you right? This place is deserted, it took you 4 hours to find it from the mainland.

Except you didn't bother to check why this place was so deserted. You didn't notice the signs on the way out (hey, you were hardly gonna get pulled over for a DUI, so why not have a few brewskis at the wheel?). You didn't notice the titanium alloy fence that you bumped over, hazily just batting away that it was "a rough wave". And you certaintly didn't notice the radio report to stay away from this area.

But the Gyrados has noticed you...

This guy? He gets it.
*high fives*

There's one important detail you're forgetting when it comes to exactly how terrifying a world with Gyradoses would be.

Gyrados has two types. The first is Water.

The second is Flying.

...

*removes glasses*

Gentlemen...it's worse than we feared.

Case closed. Lock your doors and pray that Pokemon never become a reality because if they do...

Gyrados will fuck... us... all.

 

[Zeromaeus]

If Pokemon were real, several things would be quite different. Everone would have a Pokemon to protect them, because to not have one would mean being decapitated by praying mantis ninjas whenever you walk into an open field. There would be cults devoted to worshipping those Pokemon so powerful, they could kill hundreds with but a thought (MewTwo namely. Even in the kidified super weak movies, MewTwo killed people. Lots of people.). Pokeballs may exist. Maybe. I would hope so. Religion would be centered around Arceus, the Creation Pokemon (that's literally its description). Yes, PeTA would be Team Rocket. Meowth would be hella' awesome (payday). I personally, wouldn't feel safe going into a forest without a Growlithe or a Flareon as a result of all of the Bug/Poison types hiding in the trees, just out of a will to survive. There would exist Pokeon would could eat your fucking dreams. Eat them! Right out of your mind!

 

[SturmDolch]

You know what? I change my vote to Gyarados.

You think Cthulhu is scary? Fuck Cthulhu. Imagine this shit lurking and then jumping out of the water when you pass by, and then shooting a hyper beam up your ass.

You just made my day, thanks!

And... I'd have to agree with Gyardos actually. Or possibly Moltres, the giant flaming turkey that could destroy cities.

 

[Double A]

Entei.
Imaging meeting a lion.
Now imagine meeting a lion THAT IS ON FIRE.

And now imagine a lion that is on fire THAT IS A DOG! That is Entei.

OT: Scyther. A giant bug with Grim Reaper scythes for hands. No where is safe. NO WHERE.

 

[Zeromaeus]

Entei.
Imaging meeting a lion.
Now imagine meeting a lion THAT IS ON FIRE.

And now imagine a lion that is on fire THAT IS A DOG! That is Entei.

OT: Scyther. A giant ninja bug with Grim Reaper scythes for hands. No where is safe. NO WHERE.

Fixed.

 

[InvisibleMilk]

You know what? I change my vote to Gyarados.

http://th05.deviantart.net/fs71/300W/f/2009/364/2/1/215c207a08842c49b4570f5337cfeafc.jpg

You think Cthulhu is scary? Fuck Cthulhu. Imagine this shit lurking and then jumping out of the water when you pass by, and then shooting a hyper beam up your ass.

That. Is. Terrifying.

 

[Acier]

The fact that Tv Tropes has an entire section devoted to Pokemon Nightmare fuel says a lot.

 

[Kingdudeacus]

Forget AA guns man we need electric generators and zap em out of the sky.

 

[Kingdudeacus]

You know what? I change my vote to Gyarados.

You think Cthulhu is scary? Fuck Cthulhu. Imagine this shit lurking and then jumping out of the water when you pass by, and then shooting a hyper beam up your ass.

You just made my day, thanks!

And... I'd have to agree with Gyardos actually. Or possibly Moltres, the giant flaming turkey that could destroy cities.[/quote]

Hey didnt Kratos already kill that one.

 

[Zeromaeus]

Forget AA guns man we need electric generators and zap em out of the sky.

General:Ok men, has delta squad caged all of the Pikachus? Good. Rile 'em up, we don't have much time.
Engineer:Zap Cannon* at full capacity sir!
General:All right, knock those sons of bitches out the sky! I don't want to have to tell any of your families any bad news tonight.
(Psheeeew!)
Gunner: I got one sir!
General: Keep your eyes on the...
(Gyraaaaaaaa!)(Hyper Beam noise!)
General: God Dammit! (clicks communicator) Listen boys, we don't have much choice. Is project Soaring Thunder ready?
...
...
God I'm sleepy/delerious. I mean, look at that. What was I thinking?




*See what I did there?

 

[Sporky111]

Guys! Scyther! It's a preying mantis, with wings, and 4' tall. And swarms. SWARMS!

Also, any of the ones that start off kinda cute and turn into killing machines. Like nidoran, or eevee, or houndour. That would catch you off guard.