If the Escapist was a city, what would YOUR job be?

[JoJo]

It's pretty much as simple as the title, in the hypothetical situation that this forum was the city of Escapistopia somewhere in the vast nation of the Internet, what do you think your job would be? For example:

Nasrin: Mayor

Kross: Head of city utilities

Mods: Law enforcement

Yahtzee, MovieBob, Jim Sterling: Popular celebrities who spend most of their time locked in their mansion

Maxthereaper: Former celebrity, currently serving life imprisonment.

Over to you!

.​

MOD EDIT: Please remember to "present an explanation of the reasoning that informs your opinion" to not violate our Low Content rules. Thanks. -ChristopherRobin

Spoiler: My own response

I guess I'd be one of the cities lesser known authors, trying to make the big time but still only vaguely known by most people

 

[Thaluikhain]

I'd be dole-bludging, forever sitting around doing nothing of note, leeching off the hard working people.

I'd still vote in polls though and amass badges...MUAHAHAHAHA!

 

[Shock and Awe]

I would be the SecDef planning attacks on other websites.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Hah, great thread

Well, going with the city theme, I suppose The Brovengers would the super heroes of Escapostopia.

Except we're not very good >_<

Brovengers! Brossemble!

 

[Spydercake]

Chef at a locally owned restaurant of course :3

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Rooftop traversing thief/prankster. Because anything else would be just too normal.

 

[Muspelheim]

The (reasonably) friendly city ghost, stalking the darkened halls and streets at night, howling nonsense or carving engravings in random places.

 

[The Funslinger]

Probably a moderately successful standup comedian.

Or a barman, or cabbie. I tend to be quite companionable, both in life and online.

 

[shrekfan246]

I'd be that guy that everyone thinks they recognize, but they're not quite sure if it's me, and they just can't remember my name.

 

[yeti585]

The (reasonably) friendly city ghost, stalking the darkened halls and streets at night, howling nonsense or carving engravings in random places.

I'd have to join you on your ghost adventures, I'd be that ghost that chills with people and plays Xbox.

"Pass the Cheetos"
"I can't I'm a ghost"
"Then how are you playing right now?"
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

 

[C F]

I'd own a little sculptor's shop, always hunched over, crafting and meticulously nitpicking the works of myself and others to no meaningful end with a pair of tweezers in either hand.

 

[Lucem712]

An upstanding citizen and local residential architect, who isn't noticed by most. But I moonlight with the shadow organization, 'The Injustice League', plotting to conquer Escapistopia! MUahahahahaha!

[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/The-Injustice-League]​

 

[Sean Hollyman]

I'd be a vigilante super hero by night and a street cleaner driver by day.

Hah, great thread

Well, going with the city theme, I suppose The Brovengers would the super heroes of Escapostopia.

Except we're not very good >_<

Speak for yourself, I do a wonderful job.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'd be a vigilante super hero by night and a street cleaner driver by day.

Hah, great thread

Well, going with the city theme, I suppose The Brovengers would the super heroes of Escapostopia.

Except we're not very good >_<

Speak for yourself, I do a wonderful job.

Please, you don't even have a super hero name.

Sean Hollyman?

It inspires such feelings of herodom ¬_¬

 

[Sean Hollyman]

I'd be a vigilante super hero by night and a street cleaner driver by day.

Hah, great thread

Well, going with the city theme, I suppose The Brovengers would the super heroes of Escapostopia.

Except we're not very good >_<

Speak for yourself, I do a wonderful job.

Please, you don't even have a super hero name.

Sean Hollyman?

It inspires such feelings of herodom ¬_¬

Clearly you haven't heard of my actual super hero name.

Hard-Man.

Oh yeah.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'd be a vigilante super hero by night and a street cleaner driver by day.

Hah, great thread

Well, going with the city theme, I suppose The Brovengers would the super heroes of Escapostopia.

Except we're not very good >_<

Speak for yourself, I do a wonderful job.

Please, you don't even have a super hero name.

Sean Hollyman?

It inspires such feelings of herodom ¬_¬

Clearly you haven't heard of my actual super hero name.

Hard-Man.

Oh yeah.

You're a member of the New Brovengers.

Not as cool as the original Brovengers