If the Escapist was a city, what would YOUR job be?

[Psychedelic Spartan]

I'll be the Brovenger who always wants to bust out the mechs and reduce anyone who looks at us funny to small clouds of red mist, before our great leader Daystar tells me to lay off the sugar or he'll smash my face in with a ferret. Why would I want to bust out the mechs for something that trivial? Mechs are awesome.

Mechs can solve all of life's problems.

Hard to remove jam jar lid? Mechs!

House requires industrial strength cleansing? Mechs!

Need to kill mechs? Mechs!

Hooray! I got encouragement to use mechs! This calls for a celebration! Better break out the mechs with the go faster stripes on them!
OT: I could also be the city troll because, you know, trolling is fun.

 

[stoddapb]

snip

Escaptopia Census (as of post 308)

Total Population: 264

Spoiler: Employment

actor
air-conditioner repairman
Alien
animal shelter
architect - 2
artist- 2
assassin -2
Author -6
barber
bartender
blacksmith
brothel owner
bus driver
cab driver
census taker
chef
clergy - 4
Comedian -3
commander Shepard
construction
criminal- 5
diplomat -2
DJ -2
Doctor -4
drug dealer -2
firefighter
Ghost - 2
grave digger
historian
homeless - 22
information broker - 3
IRS
IT - 4
Janitorial -9
Jehovah's witness
Law enforcement - 7
lawyer
librarian - 2
lumberjack
mercenary - 4
military - 4
model
monkey trainer
mortician
Newspaper/magazine writer - 7
Nicolas Cage
nuclear power plant worker
Office worker -5
online tabloid editor
paparazzi
paperclip designer
pie man
plumber -2
pole dancer
political commentator - 5
politician -3
private investigator - 2
prostitute -2
railway worker
rebel -2
reporter
Restaurant owner
restaurant worker - 2
retired - 6
Scientist - 3
serial killer -5
Shop owner -12
Shop worker -5
Sky diver
sky pirate
stalker- 3
street performer
student - 3
superhero - 16
surveillance
Tattoo artist
teacher -4
Theater performer -2
theater worker
thief
tour guide
traffic warden
Unemployed/ unspecified/ moocher - 31
Villain - 7
zoo keeper
zombie

Statistics:
Homeless: 8.3%
Unemployment: 20%
Criminals: 11%
Law Enforcement: 10%

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

Um...
A Rapist?
Does that count?
Serial Killer then?

 

[maninahat]

snip

Escaptopia Census (as of post 306)

Total Population: 263

Spoiler: Employment

actor
air-conditioner repairman
Alien
animal shelter
architect - 2
artist- 2
assassin -2
Author -6
barber
bartender
blacksmith
brothel owner
bus driver
cab driver
census taker
chef
clergy - 4
Comedian -3
commander Shepard
construction
criminal- 5
diplomat -2
DJ -2
Doctor -4
drug dealer -2
firefighter
Ghost - 2
grave digger
historian
homeless - 22
information broker - 3
IRS
IT - 4
Janitorial -9
Jehovah's witness
Law enforcement - 7
lawyer
librarian - 2
lumberjack
mercenary - 4
military - 4
model
monkey trainer
mortician
Newspaper/magazine writer - 7
Nicolas Cage
nuclear power plant worker
Office worker -5
online tabloid editor
paparazzi
paperclip designer
pie man
plumber -2
pole dancer
political commentator - 5
politician -3
private investigator - 2
prostitute -2
railway worker
rebel -2
reporter
Restaurant owner
restaurant worker - 2
retired - 6
Scientist - 3
serial killer -4
Shop owner -12
Shop worker -5
Sky diver
sky pirate
stalker- 3
street performer
student - 3
superhero - 16
surveillance
Tattoo artist
teacher -4
Theater performer -2
theater worker
thief
tour guide
traffic warden
Unemployed/ unspecified/ moocher - 31
Villain - 7
zoo keeper
zombie

Statistics:
Homeless: 8.3%
Unemployment: 20%
Criminals: 11%
Law Enforcement: 10%

Great effort!

The demographics are kind of alarming. I can live with absurdly high unemployment and crime rates, but there are far too many political commentators for my liking.

 

[Fappy]

snip

Escaptopia Census (as of post 308)

Total Population: 264

Spoiler: Employment

actor
air-conditioner repairman
Alien
animal shelter
architect - 2
artist- 2
assassin -2
Author -6
barber
bartender
blacksmith
brothel owner
bus driver
cab driver
census taker
chef
clergy - 4
Comedian -3
commander Shepard
construction
criminal- 5
diplomat -2
DJ -2
Doctor -4
drug dealer -2
firefighter
Ghost - 2
grave digger
historian
homeless - 22
information broker - 3
IRS
IT - 4
Janitorial -9
Jehovah's witness
Law enforcement - 7
lawyer
librarian - 2
lumberjack
mercenary - 4
military - 4
model
monkey trainer
mortician
Newspaper/magazine writer - 7
Nicolas Cage
nuclear power plant worker
Office worker -5
online tabloid editor
paparazzi
paperclip designer
pie man
plumber -2
pole dancer
political commentator - 5
politician -3
private investigator - 2
prostitute -2
railway worker
rebel -2
reporter
Restaurant owner
restaurant worker - 2
retired - 6
Scientist - 3
serial killer -5
Shop owner -12
Shop worker -5
Sky diver
sky pirate
stalker- 3
street performer
student - 3
superhero - 16
surveillance
Tattoo artist
teacher -4
Theater performer -2
theater worker
thief
tour guide
traffic warden
Unemployed/ unspecified/ moocher - 31
Villain - 7
zoo keeper
zombie

Statistics:
Homeless: 8.3%
Unemployment: 20%
Criminals: 11%
Law Enforcement: 10%

Missed "Pimp Master" on your census. That's my nigh time job ;D

 

[stoddapb]

Missed "Pimp Master" on your census. That's my nigh time job ;D

I only put down one job per person since counting the jobs is how I got the population, and you put super hero first in your post

 

[Fappy]

Missed "Pimp Master" on your census. That's my nigh time job ;D

I only put down one job per person since counting the jobs is how I got the population, and you put super hero first in your post

Okay, well that's fair then. I am not going to question how this fair city conducts its census

 

[Robot Number V]

I kinda feel like I'd be a plumber. Under-appreciated and always dealing with other people's shit. *ba-tum-tish*

I have absolutely no idea, if someone could tell me what I could be then fantastic. Otherwise, it seems I would be unemployed in this place.

Obviously you'd be an air-conditioner repairman who always tells the truth. Like some kind of...True Repairman.

You! I like you! I will be the True Repairman, to repair Man!

Who wants to be my Abed?!

Do I win?

 

[Andy Shandy]

I kinda feel like I'd be a plumber. Under-appreciated and always dealing with other people's shit. *ba-tum-tish*

I have absolutely no idea, if someone could tell me what I could be then fantastic. Otherwise, it seems I would be unemployed in this place.

Obviously you'd be an air-conditioner repairman who always tells the truth. Like some kind of...True Repairman.

You! I like you! I will be the True Repairman, to repair Man!

Who wants to be my Abed?!

Do I win?

Indeed you do! Time for the secret handshake/initiation!

 

[Robot Number V]

I kinda feel like I'd be a plumber. Under-appreciated and always dealing with other people's shit. *ba-tum-tish*

I have absolutely no idea, if someone could tell me what I could be then fantastic. Otherwise, it seems I would be unemployed in this place.

Obviously you'd be an air-conditioner repairman who always tells the truth. Like some kind of...True Repairman.

You! I like you! I will be the True Repairman, to repair Man!

Who wants to be my Abed?!

Do I win?

Indeed you do! Time for the secret handshake/initiation!

[sub]SECRET[/sub]

My avatar has been changed accordingly. And now, to continue the train of awesome community gifs...

 

[Jfswift]

Hmm, I'd probably operate a gaming/ comic store with an attached LAN center and arcade.

 

[ImperialSunlight]

Author and recluse, known sparingly for writing brutally violent and tragic stories that make babies sad. Same as in real life.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

As a Brovenger I feel as though I should have a classy job or position, but I'm failing at one at the moment.

Maybe the local drunk?

OR the really cool music shop owner that plays the best music in the store.

Our day jobs could involving searching for treasure, possibly stored in some kind of vault

That does sound like a pretty bitchin' job, especially with the prospect of finding awesome loot!

I'll join you looter shooters, just as long as I get to be the gunzerker.

I suppose you can join us.

We can always use someone that's a trigger happy man with a love of loot.

 

[Demyx26]

So this entire city is comprised of super heroes / enthusiasts, janitorial staff, IT people or loners. Do we contract plumbers from surrounding cities or just not shower?

I guess the Escapist population would need sociologists, and urban studies majors to report on the rising toxicity levels of BO or the influx of homeless teenagers.

 

[MrGalactus]

I'd be the stuff of Escapistopia legend and nightmare!
The citizens would know an average, every-day pencil pushing citizen, who one day silently disappears, and returns months later under a new name...and bestowed with new power. And one day I will reveal myself to the land, as the bringer of it's spectacular end.

I am Ragnarok
I am Armageddon
I am your natural Apocalypse
I am the Biggest Crunch

I AM G

 

[Eddie the head]

A janitor because no one else would want to do it.

 

[Artorius]

Homeless Guy
I'd ramble on about my opinions to anyone who passes by.
I'll be surprised if I'm the only one of these

then i will be the dude standing next to you with 'end is near' sign.

 

[Sandjube]

Some form of secret police, where I root out the hiding places of posters who have posted something I disliked in the past/present/future/someday, then summarily execute them. Commissar style.

 

[Hans]

I'd be a Sweeper, just.. sweeping stuff, stealing inform... I mean just sweeping (A)