If the Escapist was a city, what would YOUR job be?

[Lt._nefarious]

Well I'd be a masked man known only as The Cage Rage and I'd walk the street, posting pictures of Nicolas Cage, painting Nicolas Cage pictures and attacking anyone who would dare insult my god.

And to anyone who says "Nicolas Cage can't be the mother of God and God" I shall explain that Nicolas Cage traveled to alternate reality, fucked himself and then killed the female Nicolas Cage after baby Nicolas Cage was born for he knows there is only and can only be one Nicolas Cage. He then travels back to our reality to the year January 7th 1964 and swaps the nephew of Mr. Coppola for his son thus meaning Nicolas Cage is eternal in this universe...

Fuck it, I'll just BE Nicolas Cage...

 

[Th37thTrump3t]

I'd be the local drugs dealer.
>_>
<_<

And I would probably be your connection, since I have family in the part of the world that would be the source of said drugs.

The owner of an oriental restaurant.

Your restaurant would be the perfect front for our operation.

We could sell the "product" as a "specialty tea" for relaxation.

One of the proud and honourable entrepreneurs of the city. Herr Paradox at your service.

I'd have the most awesome tea shop ever!

Say, you wouldn't happen to be willing to be a part of my little "business plan", would you? A "proud and honorable entrepreneur" such as yourself would be invaluable to our operation. That and your tea shop would also make a great front.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

What, Para gets special treatment now? D:<

He's always gotten special treatment. . . something about being my arch-nemesis. You're only my *normal* nemesis. Thus, I only try to sabotage 92.5% of stuff you do.

I have to work harder to usurp Para.

*sabotages your pajamas*

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Well I'd be a masked man known only as The Cage Rage and I'd walk the street, posting pictures of Nicolas Cage, painting Nicolas Cage pictures and attacking anyone who would dare insult my god.

And to anyone who says "Nicolas Cage can't be the mother of God and God" I shall explain that Nicolas Cage traveled to alternate reality, fucked himself and then killed the female Nicolas Cage after baby Nicolas Cage was born for he knows there is only and can only be one Nicolas Cage. He then travels back to our reality to the year January 7th 1964 and swaps the nephew of Mr. Coppola for his son thus meaning Nicolas Cage is eternal in this universe...

Fuck it, I'll just BE Nicolas Cage...

You just gave me a great idea:
I'll be Random McBoring guy, but one day, all the feminism-sexism and other flame-threads tip me over and I take on the identity of Red Thunder and go around hitting people that start such threads with my painted crowbar.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

An IT guy who helps keep the city's compies running, I guess.

 

[Ieyke]

I'd be a superhero - bringing beat downs to trolls and smacking sense into idiots.

 

[Agayek]

But... I'm a landmark! The badge tells me so!

It also tells me that you punch baby seals. Do you really wanna go there, you evil fustigator of adolescent pinnipeds?

 

[CrazyGirl17]

I'd probably be working in a store or something, I dunno...

 

[J Tyran]

I would setup a Red Bull, Mountain Dew and snack chain and then pay other people to run it while I sat around all day counting my cash Scrooge MacDuck style.

 

[mitchell271]

The therapist. Who also happens to be a guitar busker by night.

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

I'd be the local mercenary. I set out to do what I'm meant to and to hell with morality!
As long as there's something in it for me, I don't care what happens.

 

[That One Six]

But... I'm a landmark! The badge tells me so!

It also tells me that you punch baby seals. Do you really wanna go there, you evil fustigator of adolescent pinnipeds?

Hey, I spent like two hours playing a poorly designed flash game to get that badge. I'm going to display it proudly, as a testament to all the time I wasted.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

I'd probably be a guy who lives 20-30 minutes out of town, in a rural area without necessities (Such as videos or news) who comes into town every so often, doesn't make a fuss, sits on a bench for a while, then leaves.

 

[JLML]

I have to work harder to usurp Para.

*sabotages your pajamas*

HAH! Fool's on you! I don't have a pyjamas!!! (courtesy of not sleeping that much, so when I actually do sleep I kind of just collapse on some horizontally aligned surface. That, and the fact that my dog likes to sleep in my bed, and having a pyjamas would make that way to warm for me to sleep)

Captcha is telling me that I'm apparently "in over my head" in some way. Is it trying to warn me that my dog is going to use my face as a pillow?!?!?! Well, there goes that sleep. D:

 

[bigfatcarp93]

An IT guy who helps keep the city's compies running, I guess.

You'll feed everyone's pet compsognathus? Well, thank god, I doubted anyone would take compy detail... anyway, he'll take half a dead archaeopteryx every day at noon, and DON'T OVERCOOK IT, whatever you do.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

An IT guy who helps keep the city's compies running, I guess.

You'll feed everyone's pet compsognathus? Well, thank god, I doubted anyone would take compy detail... anyway, he'll take half a dead archaeopteryx every day at noon, and DON'T OVERCOOK IT, whatever you do.

That's it? Wow, yours is very low maintenance!

 

[Dangit2019]

I would be in charge of the railways, and Daystar would be my greatest enemy.

 

[Floggo]

Leader of the Irish Mob.