If the Escapist was a city, what would YOUR job be?

[Judgment90]

I would be a Corporate drone, barely making ends meet while plotting my eventual evil takeover.

BTW, it involves snacks.

 

[ksn0va]

CyberorgzzZ, leader of a hacker group for hire. We only take the most complicated and interesting jobs. Also, we have tabs on all the information brokers in and around the city, so watch out!

 

[Atmos Duality]

Probably the guy who has to do search and rescue.
Cuz' I'm a dragon.

Other than that, I'm going to be perched up somewhere in a penthouse.

 

[RoBi3.0]

Archeologist because Fedoras and whips are cool. After finding Jesus' cup I would however retire and never ever never I don't care for whatever reason ever go on another adventure ever again. I would just chill at my big ass house and maybe if I get bored guest lecture occasionally at the local University.

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

A sandwitch board guy, following around Daystar with every possible relevant sandwitch board and putting it on when what he says corresponds with what it says, gradually dragging him down to the depths of insanity, and destroying the Brovengers from the inside out...

Or Batman.

 

[Fappy]

Lawyer. I'd argue relentlessly for the sake of my client! Since I'm going to argue on and on anyway might as well be for a client and their wallet >__>

Specifically my lawyer. A pimp's got to have legal protection, you know. It's a crazy city out there.

 

[Fappy]

Lawyer. I'd argue relentlessly for the sake of my client! Since I'm going to argue on and on anyway might as well be for a client and their wallet >__>

Specifically my lawyer. A pimp's got to have legal protection, you know. It's a crazy city out there.

Well I was Vault101's lawyer first... Trying to help her write her appeal to her latest suspension T__T

[sub]Not that it seemed to help... Poor Vault...[/sub]

I didn't even know she got suspended again. When did this happen?! D:

 

[Fappy]

Lawyer. I'd argue relentlessly for the sake of my client! Since I'm going to argue on and on anyway might as well be for a client and their wallet >__>

Specifically my lawyer. A pimp's got to have legal protection, you know. It's a crazy city out there.

Well I was Vault101's lawyer first... Trying to help her write her appeal to her latest suspension T__T

[sub]Not that it seemed to help... Poor Vault...[/sub]

I didn't even know she got suspended again. When did this happen?! D:

It's been like a week now. For this post: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.389442-Bottom-of-the-Barrel#15621914

Pretty sure she's just going to wait out the next week .__.

Oh yeah, that's right I think I did see that post. That's rough, she's in the danger-zone now!

 

[Basement Cat]

I will have a busy schedule.

While the separation of church and state certainly exists in Escapist City I would be recognized as the Grand High Pooh-Bah of the macabre Temple of The Great Old Ones, making me the strongest sectarian power in the city.

My days will be filled with plotting and scheming to summon the Powers From Beyond The Veil while juggling my more mundane ministerial duties such as officiating at Escapist Weddings whenever Mayor Nasrin is too busy to handle such nuptials. Hey, it's important to contribute to the community!

My insanely devoted, unthinking, nihilistic, human minions--Republicans--would serve as my eyes, ears, and hands in working towards the return of the Dark Gods, and my apocalyptic goals would inevitably bring me into conflict with both the Brovengers AND the Injustice League. Yet neither they, any of the various independent super heroes/villains, or any law enforcement personnel would ever be able to pin a single charge against me because the shoggoths eat the witnesses one of the Unholy Texts in my sanctum sanctorum is none other than the dreaded Evil Overlord Handbook!

And on the side I would run a flower shop. We're running a special on wedding bouquets next month. Be sure to put in an order today!

 

[bandman232]

I would probably be a personal Counselor, because I can talk to people about their problems and genuinely try to help.

 

[Kae]

Census Update

Escaptopia Census (as of post: 347)

Total Population: 287

Spoiler: Employment

actor
air-conditioner repairman
Alien
animal shelter
architect - 2
artist- 2
assassin -2
Author -7
barber
bartender - 2
blacksmith
brothel owner
bus driver
cab driver
census taker
chef
clergy - 4
Comedian -3
commander Shepard
construction - 2
criminal- 5
diplomat -2
DJ -2
Doctor -5
drug dealer -2
firefighter
food processing
Ghost - 2
grave digger
historian
homeless - 24
information broker - 3
IRS
IT - 5
Janitorial -12
Jehovah's witness
Law enforcement - 8
lawyer
librarian - 2
lumberjack
mercenary - 6
military - 4
model
monkey trainer
mortician
Newspaper/magazine writer - 7
Nicolas Cage
nuclear power plant worker
Office worker - 7
online tabloid editor
paparazzi
paperclip designer
pie man
plumber -2
pole dancer
political commentator - 5
politician -3
private investigator - 2
prostitute -2
railway worker
rebel -2
reporter
Restaurant owner
restaurant worker - 2
retired - 6
Scientist - 3
serial killer -6
Shop owner -15
Shop worker -6
Sky diver
sky pirate
stalker- 3
street performer
student - 3
superhero - 15
surveillance
Tattoo artist
teacher -4
Theatre performer -2
theatre worker
thief
tour guide
traffic warden
Unemployed/ unspecified/ moocher - 31
vault hunter - 3
Villain - 8
zoo keeper
zombie

Statistics:
Homeless: 8.4%
Unemployment: 19.1%
Criminals: 11.1%
Law Enforcement: 9.1%

I love♥ you I was planning on doing the census but you beat me to it, twice, anyway thanks for saving me of that, you are awesome.

Spoiler: Here have some cookies.

A sandwitch board guy, following around Daystar with every possible relevant sandwitch board and putting it on when what he says corresponds with what it says, gradually dragging him down to the depths of insanity, and destroying the Brovengers from the inside out...

Or Batman.

I'm sorry Mr. Webhead, but you can't be Batman, the only spot left is Aquaman[footnote]The Super Friends version not the cool one.[/footnote], since there are so many superheroes only lame ones can be added now.

[sup][sup][sup]I'm just joking[/sup][/sup][/sup]

 

[sb666]

I would run a shop that sells anime and manga

 

[M-E-D The Poet]

I suppose I'd qualify as the mute city poet?

 

[talker]

an actor. what? i'm no good for that?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Carbonyl]

Hah, great thread

Well, going with the city theme, I suppose The Brovengers would the super heroes of Escapostopia.

Except we're not very good >_<

Brovengers! Brossemble!

BrOwl! Reporting in!

By day, I will be a mild-mannered science teacher, by night: THE BROWL. HOOT-HOOT BITCHES.

Evil beware, and students, do your homework!

 

[MorganL4]

Well, since my degree is in IT Management, I guess that'd make me the head of a maintenance crew.

Lets go Yellow Hats!!!