If you came with a warning label it would say......

[Buccura]

Warning: Contents are awkward and makes weird sounds.

 

[Wharrgarble]

"Caution: Flammable."

 

[AngryNerd]

Warning: We are not liable for an injuries caused by this product.

 

[UnendingLight]

Warning: Do not mix with guns, knives, or flammable materials.

 

[Jubbert]

Warning: Contents are one suave ************.

 

[Zaverexus]

Warning: If contents take a disliking to you, immediately discontinue use.

 

[ManWithHat]

Warning: May lack enthusiasm.

 

[Tonythion]

Warning: Extremely lazy

 

[Mr.PlanetEater]

"Warning: Consuming this product will prove Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection."

 

[Grey Walker]

Caution: Do not engage in philosophical or political conversation without appropriate time.

 

[VanTesla]

Warning: anti-capitalist, pro gay, pro choice, pro death penalty, pro equal rights for all, pro union, pro higher education, anti-alcohol, anti-tobaco, likes anime/manga (a bit), likes RPGs, like classical music, and hates greed.

 

[DasDestroyer]

Warning: May spontaneously combust when in close proximity to humans.

 

[mananomas131]

Warning: Item may vanish from the area or appear silently behind you if not payed proper attention.
Item finds startled reactions amusing.

Warning: Item too sexy for its packaging, too sexy for its packaging.

Warning: Item is smarter than it appears.

Or even
Warning: This is not the item you're looking for. Move along.

 

[Ninjat_126]

Warning: May become volatile when irritated.

Mixed with "Warning: Copes poorly in stressful situations."

 

[Dr. wonderful]

Warning: The following content had NOT been approved by the FBI, CIA or The United States Government. If you are a parent offended by sexual topics. We suggest you go to your local shoe store and order a cheeseburger.

 

[Gammaj4]

"Keep out of direct sunlight"

"Warning: do not engage contents in any discussion regarding piracy. Trust us on this."

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Warning: clingy, has bad mood swings and is offensive. Do not engage in physical contact.

 

[TheLiham]

Warning: Volatile when touched.

 

[Harry Mason]

Warning: Contents under pressure. Store at room temperature. Failure to comply may result in extreme sweating, shivering, or whining.

Seriously. I think there is maybe a five degree margin that I'm comfortable in. I'm very sensitive to temperature. So why the fuck do I live in North Carolina?

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

Caution: may contain TvTropes. Exposure to movies and/or television series is likely to result in explosive nagging and damage to willing suspension of disbelief.