If you met the escapist above you in person.

[Julianking93]

I'd just keep hugging Xandus.

As far as I know, he has no way of harming me without me killing him first.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

I would take pictures and make a de-motivational poster

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

While he was taking off Julian's pants, I'd kick him in the balls.

REVENGE!

Then I'd steal his pants.

EDIT: Ninja'd or not, there will be pants-stealing.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

I'd pull out my heavy weapons guy minigun and join the fun
as long as your all on the BlU team

 

[Julianking93]

This is getting kinda weird...

While Xandus is taking off his underwear, I run. Fast.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

I scream

"RUN COWARD!!!!"

after Julianking93

 

[Julianking93]

I wouldn't care if I'm a coward, I don't want to be raped.

 

[Pimppeter2]

I would rape him. He secretly wants it.

 

[Julianking93]

It wouldn't count as rape if pimppeter was involved...

 

[Guitar Gamer]

I would run out of ammo
say "screw it"

and pull out my rape whistle

 

[Pimppeter2]

I would then sell him more faulty rape whistles

Buy them all for only 80 easy payments of $5.99!

 

[Julianking93]

I thought I already ruined your business when I opened my rape whistle factory that actually works for only 1 payment of 6.99

 

[Guitar Gamer]

I would note that I bought them from Julianking93

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

I would still be laughing at his face.

 

[Pimppeter2]

I would sell him Pimppeter2's face protector

Now only 8 easy payments of first born children

 

[Guitar Gamer]

I would
[HEADING=1]FALCON........ PAAAWWNCH[/HEADING]

 

[Pimppeter2]

I would sell him some lotion. His hands must get callusy with all that PAWNCHing

Only 360 payments of $0.29492

 

[Kud]

I would light myself on fire then steal a chimpanzee.