I am my username: I am a fork. Without muscles or any way of movement I would be trapped forever, repeating the endless cycles of entering the human mouth and the searing pain of the dishwasher. I would eventually build up a tolerance and even acceptance. I may even become... happy... for fear of the alternatives.
My username is my name: People would call me Fork. Obviously strange looks with the strange name, but in the end everyone would call me Fork. They would also expect me to be happy all the time, and I don't disappoint. In that regard, at least.