If you woke up beside the above Escapist's avatar....

[AgDr_ODST]

not so fast you've got to take your beating before you can give me mine

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

DONT WORRY MONKEY! ILL HOLD HER DOWN! *grabs ODST and forces her to the couch, face down.*

 

[AgDr_ODST]

*appears behind you racket in hand* TAKE YOUR beating like a monkey and then Im all yours

 

[AgDr_ODST]

thats a good monkey...... but for being a greedy little chimp and trying to take your turn first, you must make love to an angry tiger that hates monkeys before you can spank me(and this is after I've had my "fun" with the racket). If you survive THAT im all yours, heck I'll put on a maid outfit and tie myself up

 

[dalek sec]

I kill you with my beam weapon. What? I'm a dalek, it's what we do!

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I kill you with my beam weapon. What? I'm a dalek, it's what we do!

wrong topic dalek.

EDIT: for trying to kill me I rip out your wires give you to the monkey who breaks you down into parts for his gun

 

[AgDr_ODST]

glad you liked it now let me put on the maid outfit

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Right here monkey! *hands monkey 20 feet of heavy iron chain*

 

[AgDr_ODST]

OMG get the skull out of the bondage room its creepy
EDIT: where on earth did the skull find those chains? and how did it manage to haul them inside?

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Calm down baby, I don't like used merchandise.

 

[A random person]

Wait, didn't I kill myself for sleeping with you earlier?

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

I brought my blowtorch just for this problem. hold still. *pulls down welding mask* *focuses flame on chain links* Shit. caught ya on fire. *sprays you with a fire extinguisher* *Hits chain with a sledgehammer.* hmmmmm... looks like your stuck monkey. get used to it.