If you woke up beside the above Escapist's avatar....

Recommended Videos
Count Igor

Count Igor

New member
May 5, 2010
1,782
0
0
It's going to get worse:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.


I've got so many!

Aaah. I love myself.
 
Count Igor

Count Igor

New member
May 5, 2010
1,782
0
0
I've still got a couple more seconds:
(I'll put in a spoiler, don't worry.)
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris doesn?t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay six pounds to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
 
Tharwen

Tharwen

Ep. VI: Return of the turret
May 7, 2009
9,145
0
41
@Yer Man: He has a microphone. It should leave the receiver range fairly soon.
 
Count Igor

Count Igor

New member
May 5, 2010
1,782
0
0
You don't get it, do you? I CAN NEVER STOP!
Ok. I've stopped.

...

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Actually, a few more, then I'm off to learn some lines.


Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.

He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.


Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.


Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

Good DAY to you sirs!
 
Count Igor

Count Igor

New member
May 5, 2010
1,782
0
0
HOW ARE YOU NOT IN HYSTERICS?!

The suprising thing is, I'm on the website for them, and I'm out of breath from lauging.

NO I'M NOT FAT.

Edit: Oh gods, we're back to the original topic.
 
Count Igor

Count Igor

New member
May 5, 2010
1,782
0
0
Well it's late and I'm tired and happy. Why're you draggin' me down man?

Also, I happen to think they're good.

But I'm off all that. Sorry.
 
Count Igor

Count Igor

New member
May 5, 2010
1,782
0
0
I'd say...
HAHAHA! I'm only kidding.
Who goes back on topic now-a-days anyway?

Speaking of topics, the OP must be pleased with this.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom