If your sneeze was a firearm.

[k-ossuburb]

What kind of firearm would it be?

Everyone seems to have a different way of sneezing, some do small sneezes, some do big sneezes, some sneeze multiple times while other only need to sneeze once.

My girlfriend sneezes kind of like a 9mm semi-automatic handgun, she does small sneezes but there's normally a lot of them and they come in a fairly rapid succession. My sneezes are more like a double-barrel sawn-off shotgun, I can only really get a maximum of two out which normally take a while to "load" and they're normally pretty big, loud explosions with a lot of spread (ha! Gross).

I know this is a pretty stupid question to ask, but it's just a fun question that's not meant to be taken seriously. So if your sneeze was a firearm, what kind of firearm would it be?

Captcha: Manlingus now.

I don't want to lick a man, captcha.

 

[Saelune]

Magnum Revolver. I hate it though. I literally have to brace myself when I sneeze, and I never sneeze less than a minimum of 3 times.

 

[Pegghead]

I'unno, mid-caliber rifle. Actually more akin to an old-fashioned musket or something (because I take ages to get from the sense that I'm about to sneeze to actually sneezing, and when I do it's quite a large sneeze).

 

[Angerwing]

Bolt action rifle. Relatively large spacing between sneezes, loud, solid, but not quite as loud as a shotgun.

Yeah, bolt action rifle.

 

[GundamSentinel]

Bolt action rifle, with a possible suppressor. I always sneeze one time, either very loud or suppressed.

 

[Superior Mind]

A Pancor Jackhammer shotgun.

I've been mocked for the way I sneeze. I figure a sneeze is trying to clear your nose so that's what I let it do. Covered of course. One loud foreceful sneeze, clears every little bit of dust from every sinus and probably some bone fragments from my skull too.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

A fucking shotgun.

Its not as powerful as my grandpa's tho. I swear his sneezes sound like an actual gun shot.

 

[StBishop]

Anti tank rifle. Srsly. I don't know if they're real, but something akin to the rifle in Halo, rediculous.

Or I can suppress it, which hurts, and make it sound like the silenced pistols in bond movies.

 

[Soxafloppin]

A Bazooka.

Seriously, when i have the cold, i have the COLD.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Hi powered burst fire weapon. A lot of recoil and it sends out three rounds quickly.

 

[GiglameshSoulEater]

1000 pound bomb.
Not a firearm, but a weapon. Still count?

When I sneeze, there is a short period it drops (the fall) and when it hits it does off loudly.

 

[MeglonMaster]

at my worst i would say a grenade launcher in the style of the demoman's main wep,why? Well I have been known to shred lesser tissues in a one blast and the sneezes mainly come in groups of 4

 

[whtkid6969]

Probly something with .460 Magnum rounds. I dont always sneeze, but when I do it's loud as hell and only takes one.

 

[Nouw]

My friend has the loudest and shortest sneeze you'll ever hear.

So it's a shotgun right?

 

[Cain_Zeros]

A Desert Eagle with a suppressor. Pretty loud, but not as loud as it could be, generally one or two with a little time in between, and powerful. As in, I've actually doubled over while sneezing just because that's what my body did. Also kinda hurts sometimes. Pain from sneezing is probably bad.

 

[Liudeius]

Anything that backfires a lot and is easily triggered by light...
I often block my sneezes so I don't actually sneeze too much, and I always sneeze once when going outside into bright sunlight.

 

[Whateveralot]

A nuke. My sneezes can destroy the avarage-size city if I'm not careful.

 

[ConnorTheRed]

Some sort of rail gun. Giant buildup, followed by ridiculous noise and unrivaled stopping power.
Seriously though, my bookshelf actually rattled last time I sneezed.

 

[johnzaku]

Magnum Revolver. I hate it though. I literally have to brace myself when I sneeze, and I never sneeze less than a minimum of 3 times.

Yeah me too.

My best friend is literally offended when I sneeze around him it's so angry and violent. Maybe more of a shotgun than magnum.

 

[Bobbity]

Live in Australia, and get some truly aawful hayfever, so it really does rem like a rocket launcher or a cannon would be the most suitable comparison, sometimes.