I'm a fairly conservative guy, but I am still flabergasted by people who think gay is a choice

[Clockwork Scarecrow.]

Hmmm, I thought it was down to whichever gender/lifestyle you preferred/ were predisposed to. Think about, why do you like women? You just do. It's part of who you are, whether it's a choice or not, I don't know.

 

[BonsaiK]

What are our feelings on what, exactly?

1. Gay being a choice/not being a choice?

or

2. People who think gay is a choice?

Which ever, I think either could be interesting subjects.

Gay obviously isn't a choice just like straight isn't. Being gay/straight/whatever is like preferring strawberry icecream over vanilla. You either like one flavour more or the other flavour more, you can't help what you like.

[ice cream]
Preferences are decided upon...
these people are making choices!
why is this concept of not being a choice so widely believed by people?

Preferences of sexuality, flavour, smell, etc are indeed decided, however they are not decided in a void, they are decided upon as a specific reaction to the effects of external stimuli. When you smell a lump of shit, you could, I suppose, have a rational debate about the merits of the odour inside your mind, but the result of that doesn't matter because before you even get to that point you've already had an innate, instant reaction to the smell. Likewise, if a guy (or girl) has sex with you, regardless of what you think of the event, the way you innately feel will determine your sexual preference before the conscious rational part of the brain is even engaged.

 

[Falseprophet]

I think the point is irrelevant. If consenting adults want to engage in activities or live a lifestyle that causes no undue harm to themselves or others, they should be free to do so. Whether they feel they are born that way, or are just experimenting, or are freely choosing to do it, it doesn't matter.

 

[spacewalker]

Two people who consider themselves to be gay does not nessicerily do so for the same reasons.
What causes people to identify themselves as gay can have several causes, it is possible for some of those reasons to be genetic. personal taste does not compel a person to live a certain lifestyle or make certain choices. Personal taste can be altered and shaped during a persons upbringing.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

[ice cream]
Preferences are decided upon...
these people are making choices!
why is this concept of not being a choice so widely believed by people?

Did you choose to be attracted to what ever sex it is that you are attracted to? Do you actually remember doing so? Think you could change your mind if you decided to?

 

[Palademon]

You don't choose sexuality, you don't choose what you like.

So people dont, decide, that I think red is prettier than blue, I like pizza more than ham, I wana watch arthur instead of zoom...

its already like that?
before they ever know what those thing are...

this viewpoint does not make sense to me.
can someone cause it to make sense?

...
You can't have an opinion about soemthing until you've tried it, but after experiencing it it is not consciously decided whether or not you like it. And food is a silly example since taste is defined by genetics right?

 

[Kukakkau]

What are our feelings on what, exactly?

1. Gay being a choice/not being a choice?

or

2. People who think gay is a choice?

Which ever, I think either could be interesting subjects.

Gay obviously isn't a choice just like straight isn't. Being gay/straight/whatever is like preferring strawberry icecream over vanilla. You either like one flavour more or the other flavour more, you can't help what you like.

[ice cream]
Preferences are decided upon...
these people are making choices!
why is this concept of not being a choice so widely believed by people?

Exactly - even if something is more to your taste than the other option you are still choosing your prefered option. That's like being offered a meal by your other half's parents and saying "oh sorry I don't like that quite as much as the pizza I ordered, sorry I didn't have a choice"

And I have a gay friend who keeps being told by girls he's known over the years that if he'd stayed straight would've made a move. Which makes him curse and say he wish a bit that he hadn't chosen to be gay.

So yes, it is a choice but it is influenced by your mind and environmental factors as you go through life. You don't just get born with the gay path set out for you

 

[BlastedTheWorm]

Your sexuality isn't a choice, but being gay is a choice...for bisexual people.

I assume.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

What are our feelings on what, exactly?

1. Gay being a choice/not being a choice?

or

2. People who think gay is a choice?

Which ever, I think either could be interesting subjects.

Gay obviously isn't a choice just like straight isn't. Being gay/straight/whatever is like preferring strawberry icecream over vanilla. You either like one flavour more or the other flavour more, you can't help what you like.

[ice cream]
Preferences are decided upon...
these people are making choices!
why is this concept of not being a choice so widely believed by people?

You say it's a choice, right? Wouldn't that make everyone Bi, then?

Alright, if it really is a choice, then decide to be gay. Just for an hour, watch some gay porn, something like that. I bet 800 hundred dollars you can't make yourself be gay for an hour.

Preferences aren't decided on making choices. If they were, I'd make myself like math more, and be less inclined to laziness. I can't, though, because this isn't the Sims and I can't pick the way I think.

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? If preferences are based solely on choices, make yourself hate it, if just for an hour. You can't, can you?

One final question, when did you choose to be straight? Were you just walking down the street when you said "You know, I think I'll be straight"? Or did you not actually choose?

 

[ReservoirAngel]

To everyone who's questioning if it's a choice:

When did you decide to be straight?

 

[Neko Pounce]

My favourite argument FOR it being a choice was my ex-friend, who once said: "It is a choice. I could go out tomorrow and shag some dude, then I'd have chosen to be gay."

Which is just hilarious in its stupidity. He didn't seem to understand that if he wanted to shag a dude, he'd already be gay. You have to be gay to be willing to do that shit.

OR you can be drunk... Very. Very. Drunk.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

EDIT: just to slightly dip into melodrama...why would anyone actively choose a sexuality that means your pretty much an outsider, looked down on by people and shunned by them too, not to mention pretty vigorously despised my most members of organised religions (not bashing religion here, just saying most religions have anti-gay scripture) and even labelled for execution in certain countries.

There are people who choose to have their penises surgically splayed in half. I don't accept the idea that people choose to be gay, I'm just sayin...

 

[Thedayrecker]

Kind of off topic, but I don't think your girlfriend should debate politics in the workplace...

 

[ReservoirAngel]

My favourite argument FOR it being a choice was my ex-friend, who once said: "It is a choice. I could go out tomorrow and shag some dude, then I'd have chosen to be gay."

Which is just hilarious in its stupidity. He didn't seem to understand that if he wanted to shag a dude, he'd already be gay. You have to be gay to be willing to do that shit.

OR you can be drunk... Very. Very. Drunk.

If your talking from experience and you did drunken fooling around with another guy...I might have some bad news for you.

Even if you're drunk beyond belief, if ur not gay you won't randomly decide to fuck a dude.

 

[Daedalus1942]

I have had a few friends that are gay or transgendered or both and had talks with them about the human condition and such. And so I convinced gay is not a choice.

I bring this up because my girlfriend just told me she is in a debate with a work friend who still thinks it is a choice. How could it be a choice? I mean logically being gay doesn't make sense. I mean on the down side you are degraded, belittled, and repressed by society. You are stigmatized and grudgingly accepted in most place that don't specifically cater to homosexuals. None of that sounds fun, but on the other down side you can take it in the butt and not get married.

The only real plus side I can see is that you can dress how ever you want, and if someone says you look gay, you can reply, "I know, isn't it great?"

Anyhow, what are your feelings on this?

There is a simple way to sort out anyone who says this.
Tell them simply to go gay (or dress as the opposite sex)for a day and do their best to enjoy it. Then they can tell you whether it's a choice or not
-Tabs<3-

 

[Gigano]

Why would it matter whether it's a choice or not? Before that became a relevant debate, there'd have to be something wrong with it wouldn't there?

First thing's first. I've yet to see any convincing arguments that being gay is any kind of a problem, so why on earth begin to speculate whether they can "help" it?

 

[Daedalus1942]

EDIT: just to slightly dip into melodrama...why would anyone actively choose a sexuality that means your pretty much an outsider, looked down on by people and shunned by them too, not to mention pretty vigorously despised my most members of organised religions (not bashing religion here, just saying most religions have anti-gay scripture) and even labelled for execution in certain countries.

There are people who choose to have their penises surgically splayed in half. I don't accept the idea that people choose to be gay, I'm just sayin...

Well...when you put it like that it does seem quite painful, but we're put under anaesthetic and afterwards we have a nice warm vagina that more or less in indistiguishable to the uninformed from a cisborn woman's.
-Tabs<3-