1) This girl is dead to you. From what you've said, you've already wept plenty. For you, she died in a car crash a month ago. It was tragic, and unexpected, but she's gone, and nothing is going to bring her back. And if she ever contacts you, don't respond back. You know why? Because only crazies talk to ghosts.
2) "...I've been maintaining relationships with a few different women online..."
Stop there.
No.
These are not and will not be relationships. I have a few friends I have online, but having a full relationship with the foundation based on online contact will not work out. The only excuse for this is if there's already been a foundation laid out and built on for a while, and for a temporary period, something has stopped it. That is the online time you should allow online contact to be the main form of communication is if the promise of eventual reunification is there. If you're going to meet someone online, meet them online, and then bring that relationship into the real world. Because I can promise you that no matter how many characters you write and send in emails or IM's back and forth, nothing will compare to the feeling that she gets when some other guy is right there for her.
3) "I'll continue venturing out into the world to find some friends, as unlikely a prospect as that may be."
You are the reason for your own failures, because you've already set them from the start. You're walking out there with a grim attitude towards it that will get you nowhere fast. You are putting the burden and responsibilities for the creation and maintenance of a friendship on someone else from the word go. Why the fuck should they bother?
And don't answer that with "Other people are mean" or "They don't get me" or any other such thing like that. It's bullshit. Here's the truth that so many people shelter themselves from these days.
MOST PEOPLE ARE NICE AND UNDERSTANDING IF YOU GIVE THEM THE SAME BACK. The sooner you come to realise that, the sooner you'll come to creating some common ground, and something for the two of you to work off of. Does that mean everyone's going to want to be your friend? No, but most will extend the courtesy to you to be nice about it, while you can keep trying with others.
4) Grow up
You are 25, and judging by this post, I was expecting someone a decade younger. You are an adult now; it?s not society?s responsibility to baby you. In fact, I think society has already done far too much of that if this is the state you?re in. You sound like a man-child who never had the chance to grow up and fully come to terms with the world around them.
This means you stop checking her online profile pages, you stop keeping yourself locked up in front of your computer, and you go out and do something. The internet and home computers have been around for only the past few decades, find something else to do. If you have a problem looking for people with a common interest, look online. You live in Bourbonnais Illinois, only an hour away from the heart of Chicago, a city of over 2.5 million people. Look for clubs, teams, or something you?ll have an interest in and once you find it, join it.
Edit: And side note for this, but it also means not putting your problems onto other people. The way you worded it in the original post is that you had used this girl in some form as an emotional outlet where you dumped things onto. Nobody wants this. Everyone has their own problems to deal with. Letting some out once in a while is healthy, but for the most part, deal with your own problems yourself. No one is going to sit there and be your free therapist for you. No one deserves or wants to deal with your issues on top of those they deal with already in their personal lives. Some might if you become close enough, but for the most part, try to deal with them yourself and not simply shovel them to someone else.
5) You weren?t the creepy ex-boyfriend.
You were the creepy guy she knew online.
Whatever you had with her was weak. You said you met in person, but that was once. What did you do with her to solidify what you had? From what I read, I get the impression it was nothing. You might think you had something special, but you?re deluding yourself. If she really said she loved you in that short a time, over that form of communication, I?m going to give you the likely reasons as too why:
a) She?s an attention whore. She needs to have someone there for her to give her the spotlight. She?s also one to get bored quickly though. To her, you were just one light to shine under for a while, and now she wants another.
b) She?s been using you from the start. Some people get off to this sort of shit. Some people are cruel people. She?s one of them.
The second possibility is far more rare then the first though, so keep that in mind. Either way, this girl?s done with you, and you should be with her. If she comes crawling back, she?ll only leave a few months down the line anyways so don?t bother.
I?m going to end this off by saying this. A lot of people would call you a Beta right now. I wouldn?t. I think you?re passed that point. You?re acting like a damned Omega right now. What you should try to be is a damned Alpha. I?m not going to give you some step by step process to being one, because there is none. If you want your life to improve in quality, for people to respect you more, and to get somewhere with them, you have to be the one that?s willing to go out there, put your ass on the line, and come back every time it gets kicked. Patience is a virtue, and one that will always eventually get rewarded. As I said earlier, the only thing limiting you right now is yourself. So stop aimlessly floating down the river fueled by your own feelings of self-worthlessness, pity, and latent insecurities and fight against the current.
In other words:
[HEADING=3]BE THE FUCKING SALMON.[/HEADING]
