I'm tired of being lied to by commercials!

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Anti-American Eagle

HAPPENING IMMINENT
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May 2, 2011
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It's good to know that I'm not the only one who had the idea to test axe. I used all of it for a week straight. Bodywash, bodyspray, shampoo, deodorant, soap, cologne, mouthwash, etc... I even carried around the axe brand fireaxe, incase any scantily clad women suddenly needed saving from a burning building. Nothing, all I got were some weird looks and a pack of vultures following me around. I went to the hospital after a rash developed where I sprayed it on and they rushed me into the emergency room because of the smell, they thought I was dying.

Long story short, what the OP said. Don't trust axe.
 

grey_space

Magnetic Mutant
Apr 16, 2012
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Colour-Scientist said:
I was very disappointed to learn that Carlsberg probably isn't the best lager in the world.
Ha good one!

Next you'll be telling me that Budweiser isn't the king of beers.
 

scorptatious

The Resident Team ICO Fanboy
May 14, 2009
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XMark said:
That was hilarious. Thank you.

OT: Lucky Charms were supposed to be magically delicious. Instead they tasted like overly sugary leprechaun shit.
 
Oct 12, 2011
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grey_space said:
Colour-Scientist said:
I was very disappointed to learn that Carlsberg probably isn't the best lager in the world.
Ha good one!

Next you'll be telling me that Budweiser isn't the king of beers.
Ah, but how many monarchs ascended the throne through assassination, huh? So there.

OT: I'm going with the car commercials. I mean, their cars magically open up the roads and completely remove all the pot holes, traffic jams and annoying suicidal squirrels. I drive a car . . . . . and nothing. Cheap rip-off that.
 

blackrave

New member
Mar 7, 2012
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Eclipse Dragon said:
OT: I was personally disappointed to find out my M&Ms don't speak to me.
They don't O_O ?
.
.
.
I mean, of course they don't
Claiming otherwise would be crazy and insane. Cransane!!
 

The

New member
Jan 24, 2012
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I drank Kool-Aid. The Kool-Aid Man didn't jump through my wall. I think I've been duped.
 

WindKnight

Quiet, Odd Sort.
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Jul 8, 2009
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I'm disappointed that ComparetheMeerkat.com is nowhere near as comprehensive as it appears in the adverts. More meerkats!
 

47_Ronin

New member
Jul 30, 2012
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I saw this sometime in the 90s and couldn't wish for more come christmas time. I was utterly disappointed, my hopes and dreams were shattered and I never trusted anybody again in my life.
 

Scorched_Cascade

Innocence proves nothing
Sep 26, 2008
1,399
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SanAndreasSmoke said:
Okay guys. So I'm guessing a fair number of you are familiar with AXE brand deodorant. I'm also guessing some of you have seen their commercials before.
*video*
So after seeing this, I thought 'Hey, that's pretty neat. I should go out and buy some of that. Then I too shall have beautiful women chasing after me.'

Should've added this video :)

OT: I was reliably informed by an advert that Volvic (bottled water) was full of vulcanicity, I bought some immediately as part of a geography project and then was extremely disappointed when I opened it and found a disturbing lack of magma :(

 

GameChanger

New member
Sep 5, 2011
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XMark said:
I wanna see an Axe commercial which brings it to its logical conclusion - the effect eventually wears off. The woman comes back to her senses the next morning absolutely repulsed and horrified at what the Axe effect made her do against her will. She stealthily crawls out of the guy's bed while he's still asleep, puts on her clothes and calls the police. Then the guy goes to jail for a few years.

But it's not just an isolated incident. Women are locking themselves indoors in terror of the Axe effect, hiding from roving games of Axe-wielding rapists. Axe is classified as a date-rape drug, and in a highly-publicized trial several executives at Axe are arrested for their role in manufacturing and distributing the product.

The Axe corporation goes under, but the story doesn't end there. The secret recipe for Axe is leaked anonymously online, and the illegal Axe trade starts up and is enormously profitable. The government declares a war against Axe which proves to be even less effective than the war on drugs. For every Axe lab that the feds bust, twenty more spring up. Organized crime, bolstered by the Axe trade becomes far more powerful. And secretly, the CIA is purchasing Axe and using it for clandestine spy operations in the middle east. Suddenly every single CIA operative in the world is the equivalent of James Bond in womanizing, and any government official who is either female or closely related to a woman has all their secrets revealed by the power of Axe. Nations worldwide rush to remove women from any position of power, since they can so easily be comprimised by the Axe effect. Thus begins a new dark ages for gender equality.

National security no longer exists, organized crime has absolute power over the US, womens' rights are set back by centuries, governments collapse, and anarchy reigns across the globe. The only possible end result of the Axe effect is global nuclear annhilation.
You beautiful man, I'm still laughing. Did you come up with that by yourself?
 

knight steel

New member
Jul 6, 2009
1,794
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SanAndreasSmoke said:
You know what the problem is,I'll tell you,it sexism thats what the problem is,in this disgusting male pig fantasy women are treated as if they are nothing but animals that can/should be controlled by the puggy dim blob of pus that is men. Instead of being a whiny spoilt white american you should grovel to the superior female mind/sarcasm
Eclipse Dragon said:
Just think of all the countless people who have been hospitalized because Red Bull gives you wings.

OT: I was personally disappointed to find out my M&Ms don't speak to me.
But............but..............the M@M speak to me O_O
[sub]they tell me to kill people[/sub]
 
Mar 9, 2010
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generals3 said:
Coca cola lied to me. They said it would bring happiness, all i had was a burp...
It brought me happiness. Along with gingivitis, an addiction and a high risk of diabetes and kidney stones at the age of 18.
 

C4tt4nn4

New member
Oct 26, 2012
63
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XMark said:
I wanna see an Axe commercial which brings it to its logical conclusion - the effect eventually wears off. The woman comes back to her senses the next morning absolutely repulsed and horrified at what the Axe effect made her do against her will. She stealthily crawls out of the guy's bed while he's still asleep, puts on her clothes and calls the police. Then the guy goes to jail for a few years.

But it's not just an isolated incident. Women are locking themselves indoors in terror of the Axe effect, hiding from roving games of Axe-wielding rapists. Axe is classified as a date-rape drug, and in a highly-publicized trial several executives at Axe are arrested for their role in manufacturing and distributing the product.

The Axe corporation goes under, but the story doesn't end there. The secret recipe for Axe is leaked anonymously online, and the illegal Axe trade starts up and is enormously profitable. The government declares a war against Axe which proves to be even less effective than the war on drugs. For every Axe lab that the feds bust, twenty more spring up. Organized crime, bolstered by the Axe trade becomes far more powerful. And secretly, the CIA is purchasing Axe and using it for clandestine spy operations in the middle east. Suddenly every single CIA operative in the world is the equivalent of James Bond in womanizing, and any government official who is either female or closely related to a woman has all their secrets revealed by the power of Axe. Nations worldwide rush to remove women from any position of power, since they can so easily be comprimised by the Axe effect. Thus begins a new dark ages for gender equality.

National security no longer exists, organized crime has absolute power over the US, womens' rights are set back by centuries, governments collapse, and anarchy reigns across the globe. The only possible end result of the Axe effect is global nuclear annhilation.
On the bright side, funding for space programs across the world increase as men feel compelled to become astronauts. Science and math proficiency skyrocket world wide, and obesity becomes non-existant as everyone turns into sculpted supermodels.
 

Bazaalmon

New member
Apr 19, 2009
331
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Oh man, Axe body spray. I had successfully blocked that part of my mind out for a REASON dammit! Back in high school, everyone seemed to walk around in a cloud of Axe. There were even several (more than enough to be sad) students who actually used Axe in lieu of showering. So they smelled like Axe and ass. Not a good combination. And they wouldn't get any women, so they would spray on more. It was so bad that people -including me- would actually gag when passing them in the hallways.

OT: Those commercials for Lectric Shave. It didn't cause my hair to stand on end and scream "LECTRIC SHAVE!"
I thought I could get a good conversation going with my beard, but it just sits there all quiet like.
 

Angie7F

WiseGurl
Nov 11, 2011
1,704
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Well, if all the ads were truthful, I would stop working because I would see no need to buy anything.
I think the lies that ads feed us is like not telling your family that they have some kind of terminal illness. LOL
 

Edl01

New member
Apr 11, 2012
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MORNING RESCUE!
Just watch the advert...it speaks for itself how it lies. I mean when was the last time you saw free drinks given out at a work place like that?