Imperial Guard

[7moreDead_v1legacy]

I've asked for a Commissar to come see to all theses heretics and deserters on this thread!

 

[linchowlewy]

Try to be posted on a feral planet, get myself lost in the jungle and try to live out a life there.

Feral planet turns out to be Catachan and you get eaten by an ant.

Me? I'd shoot my commander mid battle and leg it back to the ships we'd land in, claiming to be wounded and helpless. They take me to the medical bay, the ship retreats after a wasteful loss. Repeat every battle until I get too old and can retire. Wait, can they retire?

i'd survive longer than i would in battle. also i'm less afraid of the ant than i am of the mosquitos. filthy creatures they are

 

[Bobbovski]

I pray to the emperor, possibly kill a few enemies if I'm lucky and then die? Then the emperor will come and reward me.... right?

 

[KING BOB 2896]

If you don?t expect gratitude you?ll seldom be disappointed.
- Eyor Dedonki, Memoirs of a Pessimist. 479 M41

So yeah Bobbovski if you do not expect a reward from the emperor you will not be disappointed.

 

[Rusman]

wow. I would be tanith and fight along with gaunts ghosts. Hell, he's a fair commissar too. HE wouldn't shoot you in the back like some others. Either them or the 597th. Ciaphs cain is beast, but not as much as gaunt. His group haxs the highest survival rate thus far.

I completely agree, I'd also try and make friends with Major Rawne so that he doesn't just randomly knife me while I slept.

 

[eatenbyagrue]

Apply to be a Liaison/Diplomat to the 'Sisters of Battle'.

As such I'd avoid warfare and be surrounded by an army of women. It could always be worse...

You mean, surrounded by an army of overzealous, angry battle nuns.. with guns - women?
I'm gonna go on a leap of faith and assume it won't be long before they "purge the heretic" in you.

..with flamers.

Lots of flamers.

And more flamers, just to be sure they did the job right.

And maybe a melta gun for the lulz (if the Sisters know how to experience "lulz")

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

I'd defect to Tau on the first oppurtunity, of course.

 

[PurpleRain]

Try to be posted on a feral planet, get myself lost in the jungle and try to live out a life there.

Feral planet turns out to be Catachan and you get eaten by an ant.

Me? I'd shoot my commander mid battle and leg it back to the ships we'd land in, claiming to be wounded and helpless. They take me to the medical bay, the ship retreats after a wasteful loss. Repeat every battle until I get too old and can retire. Wait, can they retire?

i'd survive longer than i would in battle. also i'm less afraid of the ant than i am of the mosquitos. filthy creatures they are

Really? Catachan. *Ahem*
http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Catachan
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Catachan_Jungle_Fighters

You'd survive longer in battle my friend. You time on the planet would be, "Hey, what a strange world. Oh, look, a pretty flowe-" death.

I'd rather face the waves of Nid's then that.

 

[Jamous]

I'd try my best to go AWOL without being discovered. Maybe go Chaos, or just try to disappear. If not, then try to survive till I can get a Baneblade/titan/something better.

Hope that you get sent to a hive world to quell a rebellious hive?
thats your best chance.. then just take a chimera under the guise of a crack commando unit and drive the other way when no one is looking... slip into a hive and disappear...

sounds like a plan

If so then that sounds awesome.

 

[headshotcatcher]

I'd apply for Ogryn

 

[Aunel]

why is everybody here so tau fanboy?
why no eldar, if I were a guardsman, I would if I could have gone to eldar
but they would have used me as a meat shield too...

 

[Jandau]

I'd likely be a sanctioned Psyker and therefore attached to the Command Squad. With a little luck, I'd manage to avoid most of the fighting and not get my head blown up by the forces of the warp. Good times...

EDIT: BArring that, defect to the Tau and join the Gue'Vesa corps. A Pulse Rifle beats a Lasgun and Tau commanders tend to be a bit more competent that Imperial ones and their favoured "meat grinder" strategem...

 

[The Hitman]

"For every one of us who dies, TEN more will take his place" - it think this kinda sums them up!

 

[A Raging Emo]

Stop! You violated the... Oh, wait, 40K, nevermind...

 

[Vrex360]

For me it would be either the Tau or the Tyranids just because I like aliens and hate humans.
Most likely Tau specifically because I love Kroot.

Hell yeah these guys over humans anyday, if you disagree I'll eat you.

Eat me

*Picks up knife and fork, elegantly places a bib over chest, licks lips. Take Bladerunner and douses him with some salt.*

Yummy, yummy.

*chomp, chew, chew, chew*

BUUUUUURRRRRPPPP!

*spits out bones*

 

[blackcherry]

Apply to be a Liaison/Diplomat to the 'Sisters of Battle'.

As such I'd avoid warfare and be surrounded by an army of women. It could always be worse...

Remember, these are women who are religious fanatics. You make a pass at them or do something as silly as coughing at a service, before you can scream 'heratic' out come the flamers...

 

[blackcherry]

As long as I was in the seat of a tank, pretty well.
If I was on foot, I'd learn how to run really, really fast when the Commissar wasn't looking.

Oh, you can't. Even Marnius Calgar would get his ass whooped by a Commissar. And he has so much plot armour he may as well be a Chaos God.

Edit:darn, double post. Sorry.