In Case Of.....

[Disaster Button]

...make sure you confuse them with a riddle.

In case of an unanswerable Riddle...

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Say "The red one."

In case of it not being the red one...

 

[The Rockerfly]

Pray that whatever being asked you the question will b nice to you

In case of no friends

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Get a life.

In case of Assholeitis...

 

[lxl_c0d3m0nk3y_lxl]

...open the console command and type in [spawn ]assholeitis cure[end (spawn )]

it will then tell you no, so type []/wrist

In case of /wrist not working.....

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

...look for help.

In case of knife to the jugular...

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Suicide!

In case of boredom...

 

[lxl_c0d3m0nk3y_lxl]

...drive the crystal meth highway (rainbow road from mario kart)

Incase of falling off of crystal meth highway and getting lost in space...

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

...pray that you brought your DS to pass time before that damn turtle hooks you back onto the road.

In case of forgotten DS...

 

[lxl_c0d3m0nk3y_lxl]

...gouge both of your eyes out with that trusty spork you always have in your back pocket next to your hot sauce

In case of forgotten pants...

 

[Jedamethis]

Hope you aren't wearing the panda *British shudder* underpants

In case of Americans...

 

[lxl_c0d3m0nk3y_lxl]

...kneel down on the ground and bow to them while they point 17 different explosive weapons at you

In case of forgetting to load the explosive weapons...

 

[Jedamethis]

Point and laugh

In case of side splitting...

 

[lxl_c0d3m0nk3y_lxl]

...fix it with your trusty swiss army knife that you pull out of you ass

In case of forgotten ass...wait what?

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Buy some of my delicious assloaf.

In case of no money...

 

[lxl_c0d3m0nk3y_lxl]

...convince a crime lord to give you the money and then you buy the assloaf, and start to pay him back over a five year loan at $200 a month (assloaf is very expensive). then you make your own crime ring and rob a bank to pay back the first crime lord and then you become the most powerful and feared crime lord in the world.

In case of someone robbing the bank you were going to rob...

 

[ThreeWords]

EXPLODE!

IN case of explosion

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

Tell the teller that you were kidding about robbing them.
Buy a new pair of pants.

In case of her calling the cops anyway...

 

[lxl_c0d3m0nk3y_lxl]

...let them capture you, then send 15 of your best men to gun down the cops guarding the jail and break out your friends, then continue jumping state to stae and country to country until they are off of your trail, then return to rob the original bank to pay off the first crime lord.

In case of unsuccesful plan...

 

[IMrAngryPantsI]

suicide.

In case of a moron posting in the wrong thread...