Insult me in the most creative way possible

[UltraDeth]

You couldn't pleasure a dead courtesan!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You are so ugly you made hello kitty say goodbye.

 

[UltraDeth]

You are scum in every sense of the word!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

I take shits that smell better than you.

 

[UltraDeth]

You're the reason people buy home defence!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You're so dumb you think a quarterback is a refund.

 

[UltraDeth]

You couldn't break the ice with a pick!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You're so poor you can't afford to fly off the handle. You have to greyhound off the handle.

 

[UltraDeth]

The only reason you like contemporary things is because you have no sense of history or taste!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You're so fat people jog around you for exercise.

 

[UltraDeth]

You're the sort of person who drinks blended seaweed.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You're so old you fart dust.

 

[UltraDeth]

You enjoy Jerry Springer!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You've made multiple appearances on Jerry Springer.

 

[UltraDeth]

You're the kind of person who watches T.V. without knowing what you want to watch.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You are so fat you jumped in the air and got stuck.

 

[UltraDeth]

Your gamerscore is pitiful!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You're so fat if I hemmed up the bottom of your pants I could use them as a parachute.

 

[UltraDeth]

Germs tried to infiltrate your form, only to take an aversion to you!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You smell so bad you could knock the stink off a skunk!