Is chivalry dead?

[Sven und EIN HUND]

All of those pleasantries you mentioned in your OP were dominant in earlier decades when women didn't have as many rights; I think the modern woman would consider it an insult if she was treated as a child who hadn't the ability to survive independently. It generally goes by the name of "common courtesy" these days, and is true of both genders.

 

[rockingnic]

"Chivalry isn't dead. You just gotta poke it a little." my own quote (as far as I know)

I've been saying this because I work at a fast food restaurant and there are jobs that the counter personnel must do that require either heavy lifting or are very dirty and when there's only women on the counter, me or some other guy would do it for them because they are women. If you're a guy on the counter and you asked for someone to do it for you, they'd tell you to "fuck off". Besides...every women I know don't want it to be dead because they basically manipulate it to get guys (being boyfriend/husband or just some guy with a crush on them) to do stuff for them every day.

 

[Greenhand]

Very few people know much about heraldry these days, it's bullshit!
(Back in the day, knowledge of heraldry was considered a part of chivalry, as it's only polite to know the name of the person coming to visit.)

 

[Souplex]

A lady friend and I spent today trying to out-chivalry each other. It's not entirely dead, just dying.

tritons several

 

[Blow_Pop]

I actually have a blog post that I define chivalry in and ask the same question.
http://aprilmarie4203.blogspot.com/2010/09/chivalry.html
Its a long post so for those who don't like reading(ie most of the internet community don't read it for those interested go ahead)

In terms of honor, for the most part, yes chivalry is definitely dead. In terms of chivalry from movies, there is still a small percentage of men who practice acts such as that. I know a few of them. Half of them are gay. The other half well half are married and the other half are either uninterested or really not my type but they are good friends of mine and we all know where we stand with each other. I do believe in general politeness and the golden rule of treating others how you yourself would like to be treated. Unfortunately not everyone believes that so....

The problem with Chivalry is that it is aimed only at women. I hold the door open for everyone and anyone who is nearby. Old men, young men, old women, young women.

I also am not a man myself.

There is a better name for Chivalry that fits well in equal society. Politeness and manners.

I'm the exact same way.. I open doors for everyone.. if I'm on the subway and an old person or someone else who looks like they could use my seat more than I can, I'm generally the only person who jumps up to give it to them.

..though I hate to say it, but I think it would be nice to experience chivalry as depicted in old films just once.. I'm 26 and still hasn't happened yet lol

..so yes.. alas in the traditional sense I think chivalry is indeed dead.

I'm more inclined to be polite and respect my elders more than people my own age(minus people with disabilities they get lumped in with elders as far as respect most of the time) but that is mostly to do with my upbringing. I shocked an older lady because I held the door for her and have a bunch of piercings in my ear and one in my lip.

Chivalry is dead. Universal politness killed it.

Call me an optomistic person but from what I've seen in my life, the real assholes of the world are just a visible miniority. People open doors for me, help me pick up stuff if I trip and lose stuff in a bag as well as make room for the elderly. I figure the world is only about 20% asshole in real life. Once the interent is applied however...

And most of those 20% I am convinced live in Southern California. Seriously. Finding a straight non asshole guy out here is damn near impossible.

 

[Gaiseric]

The problem with Chivalry is that it is aimed only at women. I hold the door open for everyone and anyone who is nearby. Old men, young men, old women, young women.

I also am not a man myself.

There is a better name for Chivalry that fits well in equal society. Politeness and manners.

100% agreed.

I try to help everybody out weither it's holding does open, a polite greeting to a passer by, letting someone merge in traffic, or taking your neighbors garbage cans out on trash day.

Also it doesn't help my motivation when I hold the door open for a woman and she gives me the evil eye.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

And most of those 20% I am convinced live in Southern California. Seriously. Finding a straight non asshole guy out here is damn near impossible.

We have our fair share up here too. The Canadian's are nice stereotype falls apart on close inspection. Mind you, I moved to a city from a small town for awhile so I guess that factors in.

 

[Blow_Pop]

And most of those 20% I am convinced live in Southern California. Seriously. Finding a straight non asshole guy out here is damn near impossible.

We have our fair share up here too. The Canadian's are nice stereotype falls apart on close inspection. Mind you, I moved to a city from a small town for awhile so I guess that factors in.

Probably. Also the fact I live about an hours away without traffic, 2 with traffic from Los Angeles and live in a commuter town where a lot of people commute to there probably doesn't help either.

 

[SH4DOWSL4Y3R]

meh, i prefer to follow the "be polite to everyone except the ones that are a dick to me" and even then i won't be a dick to them in return, just indifferent and not specifically polite.

 

[mikev7.0]

The problem with Chivalry is that it is aimed only at women. I hold the door open for everyone and anyone who is nearby. Old men, young men, old women, young women.

I also am not a man myself.

There is a better name for Chivalry that fits well in equal society. Politeness and manners.

I got Ninja'd but that was so well put I really don't care. I would like to add though that I have never had anyone MIND that I held the door for them or gave up my seat or did anything else that was just to treat them as I'd like to be treated in their position and this last year while dealing with an injury that seriously affected my mobility I was amazed at how many folks went out of their way to help me that I didn't even know. So I believe that Chivalry as Saelune describes it is not dead and is in fact coming back into vogue. Lately especially I've seen quite a few examples of that "everything old is new again" feeling.

 

[Pinky]

Hahaaa nooo ...guys hold the doors open for me, offer to carry my stuff, and offer me their jackets all the time. I've had a few fellows offer me their bus seats as well...
I get all embarrassed when people do that sort of thing for me :* but it's cute.


I'm pretty polite myself. Always hold the door open for folks, give up my bus seat for older folks, and some who just look tired. Make sure to say thanks to the bus driver, and the ladies who hand me my morning coffee.

 

[zombieeater6000]

no anyone who says it is is a whore lol

 

[ElectroJosh]

Chivalry is not dead. I frequently ride my noble steed into a tourney in order to bring honour upon the house of benefactor. I also travelled east to slay the heathens in the holy name of our Lord! I am currently training a young squire who will soon take his vows and join our order. I declare all who say chivalry is dead to be knaves and villains!

Oh, wrong type of Chivarly.

The truth is the idea of being courteous to members of the fairer sex (as they are weaker and less able) is very much dead where I live (New Zealand). Most women here would look at a man strangly if he acted that way around them and assume that he was hoping his politeness would "pay off".

I suppose that the whole gender equality changed things a lot which is to be expected. Some women feel sad about this because they want the benefits (the man opens the restaurant door when they are on a date) which came with men behaving in this way like but don't want all the negatives that came with it (the man decides what she will eat and drink at the restaurant). Part of it stemmed from the attitude that women were helpless and couldn't make their own decisions therefore needed to be helped, another part from men trying to impress women. To be honest, like the original version of chivalry (as described above) I'm not sad its gone.

 

[Kashrlyyk]

In the modern times we live in many people believe that chivalry and equal rights can't go hand in hand. But chivalry is the small things you do, such as hold a door open for a women or pull the chair out for a women or wait for a women to sit before sitting yourself.
...
I believe that they can be current in today's society, women can still have the same or even more rights then men in many situations, but does that mean we have to stop treating them how most of women deserve to be treated? [/b]Is it too much to show some respect to the female gender?[/b]

I just highlighted all the sexist parts in your post that mysteriously you missed, when you whined about women being treated like men a.k.a like an equal person.
I think it is incredible disturbing to see someone in the year 2011 crawling up womens asses that much, as expressed here in your post:

women can still have even more rights then men

 

[Sgt.Weirdo]

In the modern times we live in many people believe that chivalry and equal rights can't go hand in hand. But chivalry is the small things you do, such as hold a door open for a women or pull the chair out for them or wait for them to sit before sitting yourself. And I'm here to ask the Escapist, can equal rights between genders and chivalric values be maintained together? Or is it one or the other in an absolute sense?
And why?
I believe that they can be current in today's society, women can still have the same or even more rights then men in many situations, but does that mean we have to stop treating them how most of them deserve to be treated? Is it too much to show some respect to the female gender?

Being an equal means not having any preferred treatment... showing respect in general is possible (and should be common practice).
As most people are already stating its quite normal to hold the door open for anyone behind you, which is also just showing respect.
Showing 'extra' respect to the female gender is not even necessary because you want to be treated like an equal. Don't double-standardize all of this, you're either an equal or a girl don't go around saying you're an equal but want to be treated like a special being... don't be a hypocrite now...

Note: I do actually court my female friends as in formally opening a door or even the car door to let them go in first letting them sit down first and taking the bill... but then again most of them are the "family mom" type girls... at my office it's all businessladies so they can easily handle stuff themselves (imo)...

 

[Chemical Alia]

Less chivalry, more common courtesy.

 

[Gerhardt]

I think I see what you're aiming at here, and I would say that 1) yes, chivalry can go hand in hand with equal rights. I do believe that treating both genders equally is not the same as making an effort to comport one's self as a gentleman.

I'll give you an example which I think applies to what the OP is suggesting. I work for a security firm, and the client that I work at has both male and female employees. Now if I happen to be around and about the door to the office and not busy with anything, and one of the ladies (regardless of age or appearance) is coming into the office, I will take a few steps out of the way to open and hold the door. I don't necessarily do this for other males, unless of course they're carrying something and need assistance or they happen to be following me in or out of the building. The reason I make an effort to do this brings me to the next point that

2) Chivalry is, for the most part, dead. To me chivalry is, more than holding open doors or pulling out chairs, also about behavior. I'm not at all trying to exaggerate when I say that I think I am the only male at my place of work who make it through the whole day (let alone my whole two years) without making some kind of innuendo, leering, gawking, or other piggish remark about the ladies there.

I may find some of the ladies at my place of work to be attractive, and yes, I most certainly do find the female form to be very beautiful, but I'll be damned if I can't compose myself like a gentlemen and act like it.

So... yeah, I think the concept of chivalry (atleast in my mind) has more to do with your behavior and how you act in general, not just around the opposite sex. You can hold all the doors in the world open for both men and women, but the moment you turn around and disrespectful comment or gesture, then you're no longer being a gentleman, and no longer being chivalrous.

Captcha:
tsHath evoive

 

[MarxII]

Chivalry is on life support.

And its adoption will remain limited to the relative minority (of which I, for the record, am one) who consider it a distinction worth their time until it becomes a more effective tactic in the ongoing semi-stalemate of the Battle of Get Oneself Laid.

Therein lies a sort of irony, that so long as chivalry remains only marginally popular with the ladies, its adherents will be few, such that questions of this sort can be raised and debated at some length. On the other hand, those who bother to maintain a chivalrous air against the present grain alone can be considered gentlemen, and not merely trend-followers.

But to answer OP's question:
Yes, of course chivalric behavior and equal rights can go together. The economic, social and legal equalities to which all women, as citizens and human beings, are due is in no way infringed by a seat offered or door held. A man who bothers to keep his checking out of the fairer sex to a discreet glance does not do so out of contempt, or so I would wager.