Is it fair to make a guy jealous to keep him interested?

[ScreamSlayer]

So, i have this ex girlfriend, anyway, she has a new bf, and while i was out with them i noticed she was flirting a lot with me, and other guys, when I asked her why she said she was tring to make her new boyfriend jealous to keep him interested , I told her to GTFO and quickly left, but is she justified in doing this?

 

[Canadamus Prime]

By no means is she justified in doing that. If she has to resort to doing that I would wager that she's very insecure.

 

[Gaiseric]

Sounds like a crappy thing to do to her boyfriend.

 

[LobsterFeng]

I think that would backfire and make everyone who knows you, not want to talk to you.

 

[Jedoro]

Nope. She's an insecure ***** who you're better off without.

 

[neonsword13-ops]

No, she shouldn't be justified. That's just wrong.

As Christopher Titus said, "Jealousy. The auschwitz of emotions. The relationship death camp."

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

No, no, no! I hate when people try to use and abuse the "jealousy" thing. Jealousy is never a good factor to have in a relationship. It can only lead to bad things. Suspicion, insecurity... et cetera, et cetera. If she's making moves like this while they boyfriend is still "new," she's either very insecure, or the boyfriend isn't nearly as into the relationship as she is.

I've never heard of someone flirting when they're already going out with someone, though. All I usually see is someone flirting with someone else to try to make someone jealous in order for them to confess, or something along those lines.

But, anyways... no, I wouldn't say that sort of thing is a good thing for her to do.

 

[Rooster893]

No justification should be allowed in a situation like that. That is ridiculous.

 

[EdwardOrchard]

I think its totally legit to do that.

People want what they cant have, right? Basic psychology 101. If making the guy a little jealous makes him want you more, then ya, by all means, do it. It might be a bit cruel, but its effective. Don't hate the player, hate the game, right?

The only thing that wasn't fair was if she was leading you on. She should've just told you straight up what she was actually doing.

 

[Beautiful End]

Nope.
Story time:

Once upon a time, there was a guy who was interested in this girl. The girl seemed interested too but she was waiting for the guy to make the first move. But the guy was shy, lack confidence, if you will, and feared rejection because, as we've all figured out, guys are not good at picking up hints like these.
At any rate, guy #2 comes into picture. A friend of the girl, guy #2 seems also interested in the girl, but the girl isn't. However, growing tired of guy #1's hesitation, she starts flirting with guy #2 in a very subtle way so that guy #2 doesn't get the wrong idea but guy #1 gets the hint.
So what happened? Guy #1 thought his lack of confidence was justified; it seemed the girl didn't reciprocate his feelings. So instead, he backed off. And then things were lame.

The end.

I edited that...true life story, clearly. But bottom line is: There is no way jealousy will accomplish something good. Ever. I've never heard of such thing. Not only that but that's hitting below the belt. People might want what they can't have. But let's compare this to a child's behavior. A kid wants someone's toy simply because it's not his. Once he has it, he loves it and plays with it all the time. For a while. Then he gets tired and dumps it. It wasn't a genuine interest; it was just jealousy!
So no, there are many ways to keep someone interested. Jealousy is not one of them.

 

[pandorum]

Girls like that you can never trust as you never know when they may cross the line

 

[Astoria]

No one should do that. If she has to make him jealous to keep him interested then I don't think he was very interested to begin with. I hate seeing people mess others around, it's why people turn into jerks and bitches.

 

[KoalaKid]

No its not fair, but then what is? It's best just to stay away from people like that. Of course this may just be the depression talking, but I have to wonder if it may be better to just stay away from people altogether.

 

[Mrsoupcup]

It manipulative, a sign she is unstable and may not know what she wants. So no it isn't fair and I would avoid her if I were you.

 

[Loner Jo Jo]

In her case, it sounds like no, but I think a small dose of jealousy can be a healthy thing. Like when therapists tell wives to go to bars without their rings on and let their husbands watch and see men hit on them. Sometimes it's good to know that the person you're with is desirable to others.

All's fair in love and war.

 

[Dango]

No, the point of a relationship is not to manipulate your partner.

 

[Fiad]

By no means is she justified, she is being manipulative. Which is not a good way to run a relationship.

 

[Blueruler182]

Justified? Not sure that's really needed. We all do weird things to get people to like us, hers is just a little more direct. And don't try and call BS on me, if you shower, wear deoderant, dress nicely, and/or watch what your saying, you're doing exactly what I just said.

 

[dertyqwerty]

It can be just a reflex reaction though sometimes. I know I've done it, then when later confronted by new boyfriend, I didn't really realize I was doing it.

We all want to have our exes seeing us happy, we want to show them that "I don't need you."

So it could be just that, or she's just being a rude little creature and doing it on purpose. Which is not fair to her, you or the new boytoy.