Is it justified to hate your parents for the same reason people say you should love them?

[johnboy424]

I think that in some situations, it can be a bad idea for someone to have children because it will lead them to live in a bad environment, but it doesn't give the children just cause to hate the parents. For one thing, life isn't that bad. Depending on whose life you're living it isn't always great, but it's a good thing overall. For another, the parents don't know that the child is going to be miserable when they decide to have a child. There are things that could justify a hatred towards one's parents, but giving birth to their child doesn't.

 

[GraveeKing]

Eeer you're sounding a little emo there my fine sir.... So your opinion is going to be somewhat bias...
But well - we try to make sure life gives you equal opportunity's to improve your life. You can call social services if you live in a shit-hole, you can move away when you're 18.

Look I don't mean to be rude but I really thought this would be more discussion value worthy. So don't be offended when if I were to say 'YOUR LIFE IS SHIT - A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE IT MUCH WORSE THAN YOU - GET OVER IT'. If you're blaming it on your parents then well.... heh, I think it's time you learn some basic physics of how to jump off a building, you can fix your own life - if you have internet access it's not too bad.

EDIT: Not of course to say you are said emo or suicidal - but if someone was to have such viewpoints I was referring to them.

 

[teebeeohh]

i also hate the guy who bought me a free lottery ticket because i didn't win.

 

[fer-]

its fine as a phase but once you get your big boy pants and become an adult life is what you make of it, if you want to toss your limited time away being stupid, that is your prerogative

imo at least

 

[NekoSlave]

It's justified to hate family for the same reasons you hate anyone else. You aren't 'obligated' to stay or love them simply because they're there. Your mother is not 'worthy' of respect simply because she had sex. Family are the people who love, cherish, and care for you, whoever they are. Blood has nothing to do with it; in fact, by clinging to the "we're family" line of thinking, it's just easier for them to get in and stab you in the back.

Maybe your blood relatives are family to you, as they are to many. A mother who has a child, raises it and cares for it for all his or her life, is certainly worthy of respect. Otherwise, respect should be based on the old saying "you give what you get."

 

[The Gnome King]

Just wondering, people say you should always love your parents because they brought you into life and without them you wouldn't be here.

Lets look at the other side of that, lets look at those who genuinely have no interest in life and hate it. We all know this life is far from perfect ... far .. FAAAAAAAAAAAAR from perfect, but is it justified to hate your parents for knowingly bringing you into this fucked up reality? especially if they know that your surroundings completely suck and will possibly result in you being miserable your entire life.

I know it's a pretty perverse thought but it's been bugging me, does anyone really have the right to feel that way? is it fair?

I don't really feel I "owe" my parents anything for "bringing me here" - the urge to breed and spread one's DNA is pretty strong in most people. They're having sex and procreating for themselves.

How parents should be viewed, in my opinion, are how they treat you after you're here. If you have a mother and father who respect you as a person, do their best for you, and genuinely love you then yes, I feel returned love is warranted.

If, on the other hand, you have parents who never put your needs above their own, who shrug off the responsibility of parenthood, who basically expect you to raise yourself; then no, I don't think you "owe" them anything.

I personally treated my maternal grandparents as my "parents" because they were the ones who loved me and cared for me while my mother and father pursued their own interests. I am 32 now and I have absolutely no contact with either my mother or my father; this doesn't bother me at all. They don't deserve a relationship with me as far as I am concerned.

 

[MasterOfHisOwnDomain]

"No faith in humanity"

Now honestly, what else can one have faith in if not humanity? No-one else is going to get things done around here...

 

[aristos_achaion]

Er, to turn this the topic a bit around -- OP, if you really feel this way (and this isn't just a hypothetical), have you ever looked into seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist to see whether you're suffering from depression? I'm definitely not judging you -- I'm actually going through depression right now myself -- but it's a real disease, and one that's easy to overlook. If you're going through that sort of hopelessness and misery, you might want to get it checked out -- not that there's anything wrong with you (or that how you're feeling isn't valid), but it might just make everything suck a little less.

 

[Togs]

No, not ever- it would make someone an ungrateful, mean spirited prick.

 

[BlastedTheWorm]

God no, anyone who acts like it's their parents fault for bringing them into a shithole of a world (which it isn't by the way, life is beautiful and more people need to realize that) is a whiny bastard.

You know your stuff, and I would like to be your friend.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

"No faith in humanity"

Now honestly, what else can one have faith in if not humanity? No-one else is going to get things done around here...

-_- Come on man, let's not turn this into another one of those threads.

OT: No, it's my own fault that my life sucks. I can't and don't want to hold anyone else responsible especially those willing to love and support me.

 

[TheDooD]

No, life is what you make of it. I don't mean that in a "anyone can make it in the world of they try hard enough" sort of way; I mean how you interpret life is entirely up to you. There is no reason to hate a person who gave you the opportunity to experience it unless they intentionally hamper the experience.

Basically this is how you should see it. If your parents fucked you over throughout life (physical / psychological abuse, excessive drinking, drug use, gambling, partying) go ahead hate'em but if they tried their hardest then there's no reason at all.

 

[jthm]

Wow, that's a pretty unanimous verdict there OP. Guess it's time to quit feeling sorry for yourself and take some responsibility for the mess you've made of life, eh?

Alternatively, I guess you could hate the internet forum for giving you sound advice that doesn't agree with your view?

 

[ShindoL Shill]

maybe if you live in poverty in say africa. thats just fucking up someones life as soon as theyre born, and if you havent go the resources to take care of a child and still willing ly bring one into a shitty life then maybe...
but seriously dude... i doubt that you live in massive ass poverty.

 

[TheDooD]

God no, anyone who acts like it's their parents fault for bringing them into a shithole of a world (which it isn't by the way, life is beautiful and more people need to realize that) is a whiny bastard.

You hit the nail on the head. Every time someone tries to tell me they have no faith in humanity, I no longer wish to speak with that person. It's a stupid, overly cynical thing to say.

Life isn't that bad and hating those who brought you into it isn't going to make it better.

Unfortunately it seems as though being cynical is cool nowadays. Why enjoy life when you can actively seek out depression?

It's not about being "cool" having fun enjoying life these days is either illegal is some sort of fashion and or it cost quite a bit of money. So I can see why people would be angry and cynical. Not everybody has the ability or freedoms to be happy and they're stuck with the bullshit in life not being able to see it without seeing more negatives. When they try to be happy then life kicks'em in the nuts and bring them back to reality. You want to hang out with friends and party but oops you have work or school in the morning. You can't buy this thing you like because you got bills to pay and you gotta buy food. I understand your point but overall its very hard to be happy without the cynic side of reality creeping up like a shadow.

 

[lacktheknack]

Life's only as horrible as YOU make it.

I've yet to meet an instance in a developed country where this wasn't the case.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

God no, anyone who acts like it's their parents fault for bringing them into a shithole of a world (which it isn't by the way, life is beautiful and more people need to realize that) is a whiny bastard.

Seriously. [/thread] without a doubt.

Even if shit sucks, there's always something in life that's good and that you'd miss for not being alive. Even if its a tiny thing, its still there.

 

[Glexn]

I'd say it depends one the world they brought you into. I don't hate my parents (it's just not worth the energy), but I wasn't very pleased once I grew up enough to understand that: other parents weren't junkies; my school friends didn't contract a disease from a loose needle one of parents 'friends' left around for me to investigate when I was little; it wasn't normal to be eight and begging my neighbours for something to feed my screaming, starving baby sister; etc.

If you grew up normally... Your parents are responsible for virtually all of you. If you've had a fairly good time, be grateful and love your parents for doing more for you than you can imagine (you won't know until you breed yourself). Many people get stuck in shit situations.

 

[thedoclc]

God no, anyone who acts like it's their parents fault for bringing them into a shithole of a world (which it isn't by the way, life is beautiful and more people need to realize that) is a whiny bastard.

You hit the nail on the head. Every time someone tries to tell me they have no faith in humanity, I no longer wish to speak with that person. It's a stupid, overly cynical thing to say.

Life isn't that bad and hating those who brought you into it isn't going to make it better.

Unfortunately it seems as though being cynical is cool nowadays. Why enjoy life when you can actively seek out depression?

Thank you both.

There have been endless, tiresome threads about, "Boo hoo humanity." Now, I'm sure some small percentage of these individuals may be suffering clinical depression (MDD, mood disorders, etc). It just seems the majority are horribly negative with little to no good reason. So now a simple question: why is it so trendy to be such a cynic? When did bitching become cool? It's a fault we usually tolerate in no one.

I'm sure some small percentage may have actual reasons for being depressed. Yet I've seen people whose lives are truly desperate; anyone with an internet connection to post on these forums is certainly not living a hard life. I've seen folks desperate for food, for stability, for medicine. Folks who've had amputations for lack of simple antibiotics. These people are not the ones who talk about loss faith or lost purpose. It's well-off westerners - and if you have internet, you're well-off.

No other group considers this "Woe is me" mentality a virtue.

As for me, I also love life, have decided to dedicate mine to bettering that of others, and consider it a privilege to be able to do so.

TLR: No one except a small group of whiny folks with no real hardships considers this "woe is me" mentality a virtue. Get help if you may be suffering from depression. Otherwise, grow a pair.

 

[Esotera]

There's nothing wrong with this; it's your opinion. But having a very good reason for hating life justifies it more.

I'm ambivalent about my origins - after all, does it really matter how we got here? We're alive, so we might as well try and enjoy it. If you try hard enough, you'll find that life isn't always shit, it can be absolutely amazing.